nelly is japanese and actually meant to simg "it's getting hot in hell"

I have learned there's a Russian equivalent of "deez nuts"

if you can find some way to get your friend to say 300, you get to reply "suck the tractor driver's dick"
and that means you gottem

the entire justification for this is that in russian "300" (трис, "trista") rhymes with "suck off the tractor driver" (отсоси у тракториста, "otsosi u traktorista")

you may notice that "trista" rhymes with "traktorista" without the part about sucking his dick. correct. as far as I can tell there's absolutely no deeper meaning or wordplay or missed cultural context or anything, they just added the part about sucking his dick and everybody went with it,
much like how the word "these" could go in front of basically anything, but for some reason we decided you get to say "nuts" and that means you gottem

i'm telling screwdriver on you

you just wait 'til my big sister gets here, mister, then you'll be sorry

I was in the movie theater with my friend Dan once and I was thinking about those little strips of lights movie theaters used to have near the floor that indicated the path in case of emergency. as a kid they were like magic. in the 90's there was this general cultural sense that glowing colored light meant "the future." movies, museums, shopping malls, computer equipment, CD players, stereo systems— laser = science = technology = machines. like the TGRI building in ninja turtles 2 where they had a giant piece of technology that was just an inexplicable series of tubes and lights that served no clear purpose. if it glowed, it was obviously doing something very advanced

all this ran through my head, wordlessly, as a general feeling, and I asked Dan, "d'you- r'member,, lasers? "

and Dan laughed under his breath so hard he couldn't speak and eventually managed, "did you just ask me if I remember lasers?"
and I laughed and nodded
and I was like, "like! the conception of lasers, as it used to be? everything used to have lasers. or we assumed. the grocery scanner, smoke detectors, automatic doors, tv remotes- we just assumed there were lasers. and there were little running laser lights along the walls, in arcades, and, like, here, in movie theaters there would be-"
and he was like "yeah, I understand what you mean. yeah! we don't really have that anymore. I was completely caught off guard because the way you asked you just asked me 'do you remember lasers?'"

i mean, the grocery scanners and some smoke detectors are lasers but YEAH I WANT A big decorative ...techlight machine

you see room tours of rich guys who made a spot in their house look like it's in the Death Star and it's where they keep their star wars/movie toys. i just want the mad scientist v-twin jacobs ladder machine

Quote from: Slurpee on July 14, 2026, 03:13:29 AMI have learned there's a Russian equivalent of "deez nuts"

if you can find some way to get your friend to say 300, you get to reply "suck the tractor driver's dick"
and that means you gottem

the entire justification for this is that in russian "300" (трис, "trista") rhymes with "suck off the tractor driver" (отсоси у тракториста, "otsosi u traktorista")

you may notice that "trista" rhymes with "traktorista" without the part about sucking his dick. correct. as far as I can tell there's absolutely no deeper meaning or wordplay or missed cultural context or anything, they just added the part about sucking his dick and everybody went with it,
much like how the word "these" could go in front of basically anything, but for some reason we decided you get to say "nuts" and that means you gottem

I'm crestfallen slurpeeclock. the soviets have been one step ahead of us this whole time in the race to discover new funny numbers

speaking of lazers (we use the 'z' spelling to distinguish between cool lazers, such as Lazer Tag, and relatively boring lasers like the eye surgery kind)

publications like The Atlantic, Psychology Today, and Mother Jones have written much of the hollowness of the naive idealism of the 1990s exemplified by -- you guessed it -- the 1991 commercial for the Milton Bradley board game Crossfire


you know the take: the actual experience of playing the board game pales in comparison to the leather-clad hoverboard deathmatch against Greasy Haired Kid shown in the commercial

now in 2026 my question is: the leather-clad hoverboard deathmatch would be the simplest VR goggle game to make ever. other than that there's another dumb title called Crossfire, why has nobody done that yet? woulda sold more Meta Quests than the Metaverse was going to.

Quote from: VCRClock on July 15, 2026, 09:29:54 PMthe leather-clad hoverboard deathmatch would be the simplest VR goggle game to make ever. other than that there's another dumb title called Crossfire, why has nobody done that yet? woulda sold more Meta Quests than the Metaverse was going to.

you might be a genius

everybody I know who owned a crossfire game ripped the guns off the board so they could shoot the metal balls at each other. I only know one person person who owned crossfire but he said everybody did it

I think a really good test of artistic ability is if you can draw these fucking things:




maddening

if you're able to convey the idea of these things clearly in a given medium, you are pretty fucking good in that medium

new ice cream inspired by social media screenshots: de*th by chocolate

thought that job interview went really well until it ended and I saw my reflection in the monitor and remembered I was wearing my I WIPE MY ASS WITH KLEENEX® shirt

Quote from: PhantomCatClock on July 17, 2026, 08:23:08 AMthought that job interview went really well until it ended and I saw my reflection in the monitor and remembered I was wearing my I WIPE MY ASS WITH KLEENEX® shirt

could happen to anyone

JULIET
O, swear not by the moon, th' inconstant moon,
That monthly changes in her circled orb,
Lest that thy love prove likewise variable.

ROMEO


ROMEO
What shall I swear by?

JULIET
Do not swear at all.
Or, if thou wilt, swear by thy gracious self,
Which is the god of my idolatry,
And I'll believe thee.

ROMEO


ROMEO
If my heart's dear love—

JULIET
Well, do not swear. Although I joy in thee,
I have no joy of this contract tonight.
It is too rash, too unadvised, too sudden,
Too like the lightning, which doth cease to be
Ere one can say "It lightens." Sweet, good night.
This bud of love, by summer's ripening breath,
May prove a beauteous flower when next we meet.
Good night, good night. As sweet repose and rest
Come to thy heart as that within my breast.

ROMEO

Quote from: PhantomCatClock on July 17, 2026, 08:23:08 AMthought that job interview went really well until it ended and I saw my reflection in the monitor and remembered I was wearing my I WIPE MY ASS WITH KLEENEX® shirt

The team were really impressed by your passion for cleanliness, but we admit we were a bit confused by your decision to wear that shirt to the Dude Wipes® offices

the actual issue was more akin to the, "your breath smells nice, what kind of tic-tac did you take before this episode?" 'oh, just plain mentos' "you've got MENTOS MONEY? you don't need a job"

Quote from: Slurpee on July 17, 2026, 04:03:43 PMromeo stuff

Romeo is too horny for his own good. It's been like 2 hours since he gave up on the love of his life (Rosaline) in favour of Juliet. Take a cold shower, buddy.

all things considered, there really isn't that much nuance to original Romeo and Juliet. the English have had four hundred years to improve the story and they honestly have. the best version of the romeo & juliet story is the free-to-play quest in Old School Runescape and it's not even close

trepid – fearful
trepidation – fearfulness
trepidatious – showing fearfulness
trepidatiousness – habit of showing fearfulness
intrepidatiousness – habit of showing a lack of fearfulness
intrepidatiousnessification – the process of or tendency towards developing a habit of showing a lack of fearfulness
antiintrepidatiousnessification – ideological opposition to the process of or tendency towards developing a habit of showing a lack of fearfulness
antiintrepidatiousnessificationosity – the substance of ideological opposition to the process of or tendency towards developing a habit of showing a lack of fearfulness
antiintrepidatiousnessificationosityish – resembling the substance of ideological opposition to the process of or tendency towards developing a habit of showing a lack of fearfulness
antiintrepidatiousnessificationosityishism – the belief in the superiority of resembling the substance of ideological opposition to the process of or tendency towards developing a habit of showing a lack of fearfulness
antiintrepidatiousnessificationosityishist – an adherent of the belief in the superiority of resembling the substance of ideological opposition to the process of or tendency towards developing a habit of showing a lack of fearfulness
antiintrepidatiousnessificationosityishistly – in the manner of an adherent of the belief in the superiority of resembling the substance of ideological opposition to the process of or tendency towards developing a habit of showing a lack of fearfulness