Act Like A Supervillain thread

[Topcatyo]

That Batman is getting far too pesky for us to have let him live. I've been growing rats as big as fucking snapping turtles, and I taught them Ju-Jitsu. Soon I shall unleash them upon Gotham!

However, every Tom, Dick, and Joker has unveiled their evil master plans before and Batman's stopped them, so I figure, why not have every villain unleash their master plan at the same time? Batman might be able to stop an army of rats, but while the whole city's water supply is poisoned, Wayne manor is on fire, mummies are attacking, etc?

What are your evil mu'fuckin plans

[AlbinoClock]

I'd secretly replace all of Alfred's ties with venomous snakes.

[pop-tart]

I will kidnap the Commissioner's wife. Inject her with heroin to the point of addiction and force her into acts of sexual slavery, documenting with video.

I will send copies of the video to the media and one to police HQ with the address of the warehouse by the docks where she is being held.

When Gordon arrives to rescue his wife... BOOM.. swimming pool filled with quicksand. And poison dart frogs.

[BilliardBall10]

to send ozzy ozborne at batman.

[VCRClock]

I've revoked every library card in the city, and sent letters to everyone informing them of the extremely limited window during which they may have their privileges reinstated! Panic, confusion, and chaos will ensue as all of Gotham grinds to a halt as they push and shove their way to the circulation desks... leaving every bank empty, every museum of priceless treasures unguarded. Oh, Batman will know something is up, and he may try to stop me... but he can't do that without his costume, can he? The true beauty of my plan is this: either Batman gets his library card back, while I rob Gotham of everything it's got, or he foolishly tries to stop me... in which case I'll still have his library card, and with it his secret identity! Unless Batman wishes to come and get his library card in costume, that is...

And they said my degree in library science was worthless! Aaaah ha ha ha ha!

[PaperClipClock]

fantastic! this reminds me of the useless superpowers thread.

My plan is to release worthless big budget films constantly. People will feel obliged to go see them because they've got all the ancient decrepit stars that they used to love and now only feel mild discontent towards. Eventually the whole city will begin mistaking the onscreen fantasy world that I've shaped for them as absolute reality, and I can mind-bend them towards hating batman. It's similar to jim carrey's brain-drain tech from 'batman and robin' but you can't get people to watch a silly old movie like that anymore. It's all about re-hashing tired ideas these days.

[Topcatyo]

Brilliant, gentlemen!

I'm on the line with the Mexican Jumping Bean and he has told me of his nefarious plans. He says that Gotham will be receiving a large shipment of boxed fried rice. These boxes, amidst the rice, house tiny microinsects, developed by The Bean, that will crawl into peoples' beds and bite them in various spots. His first prototype was sent to Philadelpha, where they just sorta act like bedbugs, but when he figures Step 2, he assures me it will be very bad!

Keep these plans coming, supervillains!

[PhantomCatClock]

Fellow antagonists, let's start shitting in public urinals. Nya ha ha!

[Losperman]

It's simple.

Kill the Batman.

[PolyhedronClock]

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[buttplug]

*OOOGH BLECK MECHCHHHHHCHCHCH BLECKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK*

(Dr. Ooze)

[PhantomCatClock]

Like the true supervillain he is, Topcatyo only gathered all of here so he could eliminate all his competition at once.

[PaperClipClock]

Hey topcat I think you might have gotten jipped, how long has it been with that scheme? I had an agent of what I thought to be a reputable villainy corporation pull that scam on me a few months ago. Always remember the code: There's a time to end justice and a time to seek it.

[Topcatyo]

Hmmm, never thought about it. I never did understand why Mexican Jumping Bean contacted me through e-mail for this. I have a hyper-jet.

I'm going to have to find out what is what with this fellow...
You guys keep up the good work.