Clock Crew RolePlay Thread

[Topcatyo]

haha just kidding

[PhantomCatClock]

I put on my robe and wizard hat.

[RobClock]

remember those ms paint adventure threads we used to do that invariably died within three pages

[PhantomCatClock]

I'm still mentally preparing to respond to every input in U A ELF with one big megapost

[Topcatyo]

remember those ms paint adventure threads we used to do that invariably died within three pages

i plan to do one of those once i stop being so goddamn busy so i guess never hahahahaha right am i right oh god i am so busy all the time

[Topcatyo]

*she giggles coquette-ishly*

Oh big boy I bet you'd like to take a look at these, my little treasures, wouldn't you?

*she points seductively to her bosom with a single outstretched index finger*
*in the same motion, she undoes the top string on her blouse*

My my, it's just getting so warm all cooped up in here, I think we should lose some layers, don't you?

*she puts the needle on the record on a record player, which starts playing a smooth jazz version of Nelly's "It's Getting Hot In Here"*

All of my kernels are going to pop if I don't cool down.

*she undoes the next string of her blouse.*
*You realize she's an ear of corn.  Just a giant ear of corn, and by undressing herself, she is technically shucking herself*

Oh I'm just getting so hot.  Shuck me, you big strong man.  Shuck me good and hard!

*she undoes the rest of her blouse, which are actually leaves*

Oh yes!  Shuck me daddy! Shuck me!  I feel like something is about to burst out of me!

No! Literally! Something is about to burst out of me and it's so sexy!

*she bends over, having been fully shucked, and starts farting, which spits little tiny kernels of corn out of her corn butthole in a rapid-fire manner, like if she were some sort of strange corn-shaped tommy gun*

WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP!  WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP!

*as she farts the kernels of corn out, you are hit in the eye by a kernel that ricocheted off of the bed post. you lose your depth-perception and your face feels warm, and when you open your mouth, you taste the metal taste of blood, which you are losing a lot of*
*you feel a stinging sensation in your stomach.  in all the chaos of corn being farted everywhere, you look down and see you have been struck by several kernels and are bleeding severely out of your gut*
*as you fall to your knees, your vision fades, and all you can see is the sexy corn woman as she jumps from standing on one leg to the other as corn continues shooting out of her impossible rectum.*

WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP!

*lamps shatter and lightbulbs burst in furious explosions of light.  wood splinters and windows break away into the night of the log cabin i am only just now mentioning that this whole scene has taken place*
*you fall to the ground and you close your eyes for the last time*

[RobClock]

Executive Producer
Chris Carter

[Kodiakclock]

+2 pants