Brief reviews of movies you saw recently

[Jimmy McNulty]

Jesus is Magic-10/10

An incredibly funny movie. Actually, it's more of a hybrid of movie and stand up. It stars a racist Jewish comedian, who disscusses (and sings about) her seven year old recently out of the closet lesbian neice, how Jewish people driving german cars is gay, why ron jeremy mastubates with his pinky out, how her 96 year old nana was raped and killed, and how jesus was killed by blacks. MS paint penises included.

[Joey 56465468]

Running Scared  9.5/10
I love this movie, its a definate must see movie.  The story is very well done, with a great plot twist at the end.  Plenty of sterotypes too. I say go see it now.

[AdrenalineClock]

I hate when people announce there's a twist at the end of a movie, and they think they didn't do anything because they didn't say what it was.  Revealing that there's a twist is just a bit shy of saying what it was, because a good portion of the surprise is gone because you're expecting something crazy to happen even if you don't know what.

[StrangeClock]

Fast and the Furious 3: Tokyo Drift - 0/10

Shitty fucking movie I want my $10 and 2 hours back.

Was it 2 hours? I hate how shitty movies nowadays can make the 2 hour or more mark. Shitty movies as a rule should be no longer than 90 minutes.


American Pie 3
Crap, but if laid next to it, the Scary Movie series is definitely 100 times worse than American Pie. Granted, I've only seen Scary Movie 1 and then trailers for the others but I stand by my statement.
While it's a little silly to analyze such a dumb movie, they really overdid it with Stifler's character in this one, and Kevin might as well have not been there, the movie didn't need another straight man. Stupid and not very funny but not something I'd turn off the TV for like Scary Movie.

Underworld: Evolution
A lot more like Blade than the first one and Blade sucks Wesley Snipes's beestung dick, but stomachable. Surprisingly violent. Micheal was again a very uninteresting character, just served a twofold purpose - a guy for Kate Beckinsale to get naked for and a super incredible werevamp to tear apart enemies. For that matter, the movie got kind of drunk on godmoding. It's silly to have characters who for only slightly explained reasons can survive all kinds of huge wounds. Plus the first werewolf could've looked more interesting.

[Jimmy McNulty]

Bananas-9/10
A wonderfully absurd comedy. Well directed and extremly funny. It has some wonderfully original moments. J. Edgar Hoover disguised as a black woman, sports coverage of an assassination, a raid on a general store, and the United Jewish Appeal in the middle of a warzone.

[PirateClock]

Underworld: Evolution
A lot more like Blade than the first one and Blade sucks Wesley Snipes's beestung dick, but stomachable. Surprisingly violent. Micheal was again a very uninteresting character, just served a twofold purpose - a guy for Kate Beckinsale to get naked for and a super incredible werevamp to tear apart enemies. For that matter, the movie got kind of drunk on godmoding. It's silly to have characters who for only slightly explained reasons can survive all kinds of huge wounds. Plus the first werewolf could've looked more interesting.

i want to see this movie.

also you guys should check out frailty http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0264616/
it's an amazing story and i can't tell you to much about it cause it will ruin the movie.

[Arctic]

i want to see this movie.

also you guys should check out frailty http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0264616/
it's an amazing story and i can't tell you to much about it cause it will ruin the movie.

It's a tad old (2001), but I loved it.

[AdrenalineClock]

i want to see this movie.

There's no actual Kate Beckinsale nudity in the movie.

[StrangeClock]

they take it pretty far. At one point the fun bits are only just obscured by the guy's arms and legs.

[DigitalLemonClock]

Walk the Line - 8.7/10
The acting and all around production of the movie was amazing, but it felt kind of empty.

Le Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain - 9/10
This director is becoming one of my favorites, I love his movie magic

Boondock Saints - 7.7/10
This was a nice surprise, I didn't expect anything more than a simple cliche action movie, but it turns out it's filled with good acting and silly stuff. Willem Dafoe was awesome as always.

Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence - 9/10
Great music, great story, great David Bowie

[Losperman]

Duece Bigalow: European Gigalow - 2/10

The first movie seemed to get a lot of harsh criticism, but I actually liked it. This one, however, deserves the shit it gets. The same stale story and jokes, with little deviation. Acting was pretty bad as well. There may have been a couple of funny parts, but they must not have been that funny because I can't recall them at the moment.

The Island - 8/10

A pretty good movie, in my opinion. The dramatic action scenes near the end were a little far fetched, though, and there was some horribly obvious ads thrown throughout the movie, but overall still good. Acting, plot, visuals, all great. Some nice humor as well. Yeah. Good.

The Lake House - 6/10

Nothing great, but I guess it was an interesting twist on romance stories. It just kept seeming a little too romance-novally for me, though. Especially with cheesy scenes like the snow scene near the beginning. Blah. Pretty good, though.

[GreyClock]

The Omen 666 6.6/10 (LOL!!!)

Pretty enjoyable, though the end was gay!

[ChevyClock]

Nacho libre - 10/10

I laugh so freakin' hard at this movie, I had tears coming down my face.

[Jolt Clock]

Praire Home Companion (For Father's Day):  Makes MN look like fags (Which sucks, since I'm from there, have seen the show live, and don't have an accent), makes old people (those who are watching the movie) feel better about dying, and tries to be the actual show, without being a show nor a movie with a plot (Very difficult to obtain).

1/10 Since Garrison Keilor's voice is good, but face looks like downs.

[Slurpee]

The Omen (2006) - 6/10
This movie's been getting a lot of flack for being a shot-by-shot remake with inferior acting. One critic went on about how Damien shouldn't be portrayed as emotionless, and that he should be cheery on occasion to contrast with the shocking evil moments. For me, though, The Omen works better as a horror of inevitability. Every major plot point is predetermined, and Damien as an obviously evil little shit adds to the feeling of helplessness. This kid is going to fill out Revelations regardless of any attempts to stop it.

Dark City - 7.5/10
I was a little disappointed at the lack of closure, but the movie up until Keifer Sutherland removes all ambiguity during the boat ride is fantastic.

[Marrow]

Fun with Dick and Jane - 7/10 - It was good but some parts were really well thought up, but some of the jokes were just based on Mexican stereotypes. I can't really say a lot, Jim Carrey didn't really seem to be putting in his best effort, but other than that it was a solid movie with some very funny scenes.

[Losperman]

Failure to Launch - 8/10

Much better than I had expected. It had it's silly moments and expected outcome, but the humor and dialogue was there. The physical comedy was mediocre, but everything else was funny. The constant little twists was what made me like it, though. Seats kept changing and the film didn't hold your hand through most of it, which was good. So yeah, pretty good movie.

Annapolis - 3/10

Sadly, this movie was also better than I had expected it to be. That's not saying much, though. I personally think James Franco is a pretty shitty actor, and his performance in this movie didn't do much to change my mind. He also has a tendancy to play whiney characters, which he also does in this movie.

And the character development for most people in the movie was pretty terrible. I understand they want their characters to be realistic and "3D", but they could have done a better job with it. The fat guy (who is eerily similar to the fat guy from Full Metal Jacket) is nice, but won't give up junk food. The Asian guy is smart, but overbearing. The hispanic guy is dedicated but hotheaded. The main character is inspired but emotionally torn. Fucking Christ, give me a break on the cinematic cliches. One of the only characters that doesn't really have any flaws is the god damn main "villain". How I'm a edgy teen is that?

But some of the acting wasn't so bad, and there were a few moments that weren't too hard to watch. But yeah, this movie pretty much sucks ass. Smelly ass.

[Hate Clock]

Dark City - 7.5/10
I was a little disappointed at the lack of closure, but the movie up until Keifer Sutherland removes all ambiguity during the boat ride is fantastic.

IF YOU'RE WONDERING WHY I'M IN YOUR MEMORIES IT'S BECAUSE I PUT MYSELF THERE

[Losperman]

Superman Returns - 8/10

They did a great fan service with this movie, and the new guy works well as Supes. Acting was all good, as were the special effects. Story was pretty good, and I was glad to hear the theme music return. But it still wasn't as good as I expected it to be. In fact, there were several parts where I just thought "Damn, this is kinda boring." Especially in the first 30 minutes. They had a lot of explanatory things in the beginning that didn't need to be there. They wanted to stay away from origin-type stuff, so why do we need to see Superman as a kid? And they didn't explain enough for people who haven't seen/don't remember the old movies. So they could have traded off in those terms. Other than that, awesome movie.

[chocolatechipclock]

Blow - 8.5

Great drama.  Johnny Depp is awesome.  This is a pretty good story and you really get attached to the characters.

12 Monkeys - 10/10

I recommend watching this while completely baked.  This movie was fucking crazy.  Brad Pitt is brilliant, and Bruce Willis is very good.  This thriller definently fucks with your mind.  Very good stuff.
Also, in case you didn't know, the director of this movie also directed Monty Python & the Holy Grail and Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas.  This is definently one of his best.