Brief reviews of movies you saw recently

[Losperman]

The Break Up - 6/10

This movie has a few funny moments, but nothing too memorable. I liked the characters a lot, though. The ending kind of sucked, but I guess it could have been worse.

[Randy Pearson]

No, that's school grading.  This isn't school.  7/10 means it did most things right but was flawed, a pretty good movie.

When Ebert gives something 3 stars out of 4, do you think he thinks it's average?  No, he thinks it's good but not amazing, 2 out of 4 is average.  Most critics give bad movies between 0 and 30 percent.

I have been shown the light by a prophet, his name is Adrenaline.

[AdrenalineClock]

Your momma

[Randy Pearson]

Your momma

My momma what?

Subsitute teaches? Eats? Breathes?

[Randy Pearson]

Halloween Resurrection:

(SPOILERS ALERT! EXTREME CAUTION FOR THOSE WHO HAVE NOT SEEN HALLOWEEN)

I really watched this film over two nights, I saw the first half one night, and then the second half the other night. And I must say this is one god awful movie.

But first, lets do a little recap, shall we. Halloween was a film directed by horror master John Carpenter (The Thing). It tells the story of a girl who is being stalked by a serial killer named Michael Myers, who, for no explained reason, comes on Halloween and just starts killing teenagers. Since I doubt anyone will have a problem recognizing this formula in slasher films, I won't hold back on plot details. Michael is eventually shot out from a window and falls two stories to his death (but anyone who recognizes the slasher formula will know that doesn't last very long). The only other explanation for Michael is that he killed his baby sister (I can't remembe exactly) on Halloween so many years ago and, according to Dr. Loomis (a psychology expert who, for no explained reason, feels it is his duty to finally kill Michael) tells us he is pure evil. Well, wouldn't you know, Michael isn't laying on the ground dead when Loomis checks again, he's vanished.

4 years later, a sequel was made taking place at the same time as original, where the girl, Laurie Strode, is rushed to a hospital, where the doctors are as over-sexed as the ones in Grey's Anatomy. She seems to be in some sort of frightened coma. During which, we see flashbacks that reveal she is, in fact, Michael's brother, and he is hell-bent on killing her. He fails yet again, and the sequel actually ends on a happy note.

Since both films take place on the same night, it is often classified as being simply two parts of a saga, so in reviews for Halloween, they often reveal that Laurie is his sister, though this is not revealed until the sequel. A number of sequels followed that attempted to explain Michael's psychotic behavior, and why he is incapable of dieing, only to have a film called Halloween H20: 20 Years Later, which ignores the events of all the films except the first two, where Michael is alive and still trying to kill his sister (played by the same actress, Jamie Lee Curtis).

This movie takes place directly after the events of H20, well, sorta. Laurie Stode is in an insane asylum, aparently in another comatose state, after she had decapitated a man she thought was Michael! That's right! That wasn't even Michael in the last movie at the end, just a poor guy that Michael dicided to descise as him. He also crushes his wind-pipe so he can't reveal his true identity! What a twist! Michael Myers, the character who has constantly been passed down as a stupid brute like Jason, is actually an inteligent and stratigizing killer! For the first time in a long time, I felt nothing could go wrong, they had added an interesting twist on Michael's character. It made me fear him all the more. Even when Laurie is about to finally kill Michael, again, she has a conflict of concionse. What if this is not the real Michael, but I am being tricked again. The man in the mask even seems to plead for Laurie to not kill him, moaning in distress and flailing violently, certainly not the composed Michael from the past. She goes to take off the mask, to discover the truth. This can't possibly be Michael. WRONG! It is him. This was all a well fomulated trap, and, finally, after many years of tryying, Michael finally kills Laurie.

"Wow," you're probably thinking. "What a fantastic film."

Once again, it seems, Michael and whoever wrote this movie have surprised us. These events take place over the first 10 minutes of the film. The director and writer, rather than stretching this thrilling and pulse pounding plot idea into an entire film and finally provide a climatic end to the series, seem to think that it would be better to just kill off Laurie at the beginning of the film and then just set up the stupidest excuse for a plot with the most annoying actors ever so that Michael can just start killing people again.

A group of students are chosen to be part of an online broadcast of their escapades in a randomly picked haunted place or scary house, which, of course, is Michael Myers's old house. This happens to be on Halloween, so Michael returns to his home and begins  killing the people in his home.

From the end of the first 10 minutes to the end of the film, this movie is in no way scary. Events constantly switch from a the house, to the point of view of the characters, to the point of view of the cameras the characters have wraped around their heads for the web broadcast, to people at the party watching the web broadcast. The fact is I can not begin to tell you how incomprihensable and stupid this plot is. In fact, I would rather not like to go indepth, because it pains me to remember this horrible hunk of shit. It baffles me how the director took something so original (the first 10 minutes) and thought it was okay to  just end that part of the story there and then move on to a completely unrelated setting. The acting is bad, the story is bad, and the director obviously has no idea how to effectively use a camera and not make us vomit out of disoriantation while watching this film. What a sad excuse of celluloid.

See it only for the perpous of seeing the first 10 or so minutes. Then, just stop there.

0.5/5.

[StrangeClock]

Silent Hill
Having not played the games, I can't judge it as an adaptation thereof, but as a horror movie I found it very cool. Not really scary, not overly gross, but very, very creative monster design. Of course much of that is to the credit of the game designers. Great use of CGI and soundscaping. The burning children, armless creature and dark nurses were very cool, and though I thought it was a shame he seemed completely CGI, Pyramid Head's ripping off a woman's skin ruled. The final appearance of Alessa was nice too. Bad points would be the occasional ridicutarded behavior of the mother, Rose (speeding off like it's her only chance when the cop first halts her), the overly archaic and VERY repetitive dialogue of the villagers (how many times can you make Alice Krige say "demon"?), and especially near the end, too melodramatic.

Nevertheless, I liked it a lot.

Oh, I also finally watched The Good, the Bad and the Ugly for the first time a few days ago, which is of course a shameful and unforgivable thing to admit to especially for one who claims to love and hopes to one day make his own movies. I'll not disgrace myself further by attempting to review it but will say that the climax is still utterly powerful (who will live?) and that it made me wish so hard I'd been born 50 years ago so I could've watched it in a theater. Well. There's probably still places where I could do that, but then it would've been completely new.

[AdrenalineClock]

Way too much to type about an intentionally shitty movie

Dude, what's the name of this thread?

[Randy Pearson]

Dude, what's the name of this thread?

Uh... no hablo engles, senor.

[FluxCapacitorClock]

The Prestige
Original/interesting plot. I'd give it a 9/10 and I highly recommend seeing it.



SAW 3
The best of the 3 in my opinion. 9.8/10 and I highly recommend this as well.

[Losperman]

Nacho Libre - 7/10

I liked the atmosphere of this movie, and there were some really funny scenes. The acting was also top notch, and I loved the characters. I was still a little disappointed, though. I guess I expected more funny scenes, and the plot didn't seem to completely fill out like it could have. Overall, still pretty good. And the nun was hot.

[ZombieClock]

Saw 3

I must say, I liked this one the best over the other two. And finally, CLOSURE! If you even kind of liked 1 or 2, go see this one.

8.6/10

[Losperman]

Slither - 8/10

I really like campy horror movies, especially when they're purposeful, like this movie and Cabin Fever. So they did a really good job with this one. There could have been a few more funny jokes, but the writing and acting was mostly good. Special effects were good. I guess my main complaint is that it could/should have been longer. The climax came too soon. And for my obligatory hot chick remark, Elizabeth Banks is really hot, as always.

[Jimmy McNulty]

The Manchurian Candidate (2004 remake): 8/10

A nice little thriller. Denzel Washington is great. A lot of nice surrealism in there. Not everything adds up in the end, but it does make for an excellent blend of suspense and creepiness.

[StrangeClock]

Final Destination 3
Kinda sucked. All these movies really have going for them are the originality angle of death coming after people as a force, but they really missed the mark with this one. The characters were insane stereotypes, even for a horror movie. The airhead bimbos, the aggressive black jock who swears excessively, the socially handicapped gothy boy and girl who quote statistics at awkward times, ugh. The paths leading up to deaths were way too farfetched this time, and the deaths themselves were never very impressive or original. Just a splatter of CGI blood and bye. Aside from a select few moments (guy getting squished between the subway and wall at the end, for instance), it sucked. It took ridiculously long to get underway too, like an hour, and the opening rollercoaster scene has nothing on the shock of part 1's exploding airplane or part 2's fantastic crash scene.

The uh redhaired girl was hot as hell though.

The Hills Have Eyes (2006 remake, unrated)
I liked it. All the horrible shit that happened to the main characters made me really feel for them when they started fighting back. Great effects. I felt they could've given the main guy some mean one-liners during his kills though.

[Hazelnut]

Saw 3, we meowed during the brain surgery.

Good movie, series seems to become more plot-based with each movie.

[Randy Pearson]

Saw II

I haven't seen one (GASP!!!), but I hope to soon. This movie had a really interesting plot. It just had too many characters in it. I really didn't feel like I was getting to know these people as well as I should. It had some amazing shocks, but nothing that I really found at all scary. The acting itself was pretty bad, but to be expected of horror movie/sequel. The twist at the end made it all worth it though. I really enjoyed myself.

3/5

[yinyangclock]

Saw II

I haven't seen one (GASP!!!), but I hope to soon. This movie had a really interesting plot. It just had too many characters in it. I really didn't feel like I was getting to know these people as well as I should. It had some amazing shocks, but nothing that I really found at all scary. The acting itself was pretty bad, but to be expected of horror movie/sequel. The twist at the end made it all worth it though. I really enjoyed myself.

3/5

If you watch the first one you'll understand the second one a lot more (because I can think of a few things that must be pretty confusing for you at the moment), and you'll probably like it more because there's a whole lot less characters and you learn a lot more about them.
I don't think it really tries to be scary, as such. I know it won't ever lose the 'horror' label but it's really more of a thriller than anything else.

[Folder]

The Prestige: 9.75
This movie was incredible. The characters were well defined, the plot was amazing, the acting was phenomenal, and everything was spectacular. While it's confusing as hell when it starts off, you'll understand everything at the very end.  

Saw III: 8.5
I may just be a fanboy on this one, but you can't beat the first. While I liked this one better than the second, it paled in comparison to the first. The plot wasn't interesting, the characters were poorly defined, but the theatrics and gore won me over.

[Randy Pearson]

If you watch the first one you'll understand the second one a lot more (because I can think of a few things that must be pretty confusing for you at the moment), and you'll probably like it more because there's a whole lot less characters and you learn a lot more about them.
I don't think it really tries to be scary, as such. I know it won't ever lose the 'horror' label but it's really more of a thriller than anything else.

Actually, I'm not at all very confused. I'm sure the girl who becomes his apprentice was in the previous film, right?

[Losperman]

An American Haunting - 7/10

I liked this movie for the most part. Most of the acting was good (with the exception of one or two over-actors), the scares were mostly quality, and the story was interesting. [Possible kind-of-sort-of spoilers ahead] I have kind of a love hate relationship with the ending. On the one hand I think it sucks for bringing real world issues in on fucking ghost stories. On the other, it does cause me to think back a lot on the movie and remember how certain things relate to the ending. I liked that aspect. As for my traditional hot chick comment... well, I could say the daughter is hot, but that would be wrong. She is, though. Just for clarification.