I want to make a music video

[Randy Pearson]

I'm going to propose to a friend of mine and fellow aspiring filmmaker that we collaborate on a music video to test our artistic and editing abilities. I'm going to suggest "We Are One" by Buckethead and Serj Tankian, since the grandiose and yet experimental style fits very well into what I want to accomplish. I've written up an outline. Please, give me some constructive criticism.

The Astounding Two-Headed Movie

FADE IN:

DARK ROOM

A SPOTLIGHT comes down on a ROBOT sitting in a metal rocking chair (a mix between HEL from Metropolis and BUCKETHEAD). An old ORCHESTRAL INTRODUCTION plays.

            THEME, THE ROBOT
Good evening. Thank you. Thank you. Tonight we have something very special to show all of you. It is something that simultaneously exists and does not exist. It is not God. Please direct your attention to the boy in the forest.

INT. FOREST â€" APPROACHING DUSK

SPOTLIGHT is trained on a BOY IN A SUIT standing in front of a LARGE, WOODEN CRATE with several images and symbols drawn on it (CROSS, ELEPHANT, ANARCHY-“A”, STAR-AND-CRESCENT, STAR OF DAVID, DONKEY, etc.). The boy is silent for several seconds. He then puts his hand to the side of the crate. The side of it falls open, REVEALING to us a DARK, EMPTY INTERIOR.

SMASH CUT TO:

DARK ROOM

The eyeless sockets of Theme begin spewing blood. Theme goes into convulsions as guitar feedback blares over the soundtrack.

CUT TO:

“WE ARE ONE” by BUCKETHEAD (featuring SERJ TANKIAN).

EXT. DRUGSTORE â€" NIGHT

DEATH, dressed in a RED T-SHIRT AND BLACK JEANS plays air guitar. A bloated, DEAD DOG wrapped in the AMERICAN FLAG bleeds on the sidewalk. (0:01-0:02)

SUBLIMINAL IMAGE â€" Death is absent, and LIFE, a RABBIT IN A WHITE SUIT sits up against the wall of the drugstore.

Death keeps playing. (0:02-0:05)

Life is now standing, ready to begin playing himself. He picks once at an invisible guitar.

Death continues the riff. (0:06-0:07)

Life plays. (0:08-0:10)

Death vibrates off of the riff.

Life continues. (0:11-0:14)

INT. LIVING ROOM â€" NIGHT

FLASH ANIMATED. TELEVISION â€" it shows a live-action, B/W video of A MAN.

            THE MAN IN THE TELEVISION
         (singing)
      Sending the beating to go

PREDATOR sits on his COUCH mundanely.

            THE MAN IN THE TELEVISION
Send the battle the leaders is ready to roll

TELEVISION â€" the man starts crying blood while smiling.

            THE MAN IN THE TELEVISION
      Send the battle to home

PREDATOR has now transformed into an APE. (0:19-0:21)

            THE MAN IN THE TELEVISION
Send the battle the leaders are ready for war

INT. FIELD â€" NIGHT

TWINS CONJOINED at the waist fight with each other in the TALL GRASS. (0:22-0:24)

            THE MAN IN THE TELEVISION
      Do you know

They both trip over and disappear among the weeds. (0:25-0:27)

            THE MAN IN THE TELEVISION
      That we are one

They have both been IMPALED by a WOODEN STAKE coming out of the ground. (0:28)

INT. PARKING LOT â€" NIGHT

Life, dressed in a GREEN LEISURE SUIT (Tommy anyone?) plays ping-pong with Death, dressed as a PRIEST. Three shots are shown of their serves. Life, death, life. (0:28-0:29)

            THE MAN IN THE TELEVISION
      Sending the beating to go

PING-PONG BALL P.O.V. â€" it bounces back and forth between life and death, getting EXTREME CLOSE-UPS of the PADELS, Death’s with a STAR, Life’s with a CIRCLE. (0:30-0:31)

            THE MAN IN THE TELEVISION
Send the battle the leaders is ready to roll

MEDIUM ON the man in the television as he sits in a the metal rocking chair, speaking into a microphone, while the GAME GOES ON IN THE B.G. (0:32-0:33)

            THE MAN IN THE TELEVISION
      Send the battle to home

EXTREME CLOSE ON LIFE â€" pale and vacant.

EXTREME CLOSE ON DEATH â€" cold and concentrated. (0:34-0:35)

            THE MAN IN THE TELEVISION
Send the battle the leaders are ready for war

CLOSE ON LIFE’S VIDEO GAME CONTROLLER INTERCUT W/ DEATH’S CONTROLLER (Nintendo Entertainment System). (0:36-0:38)

            THE MAN IN THE TELEVISION
      Do you know

MEDIUM LONG SHOT â€" now DUSK, the two hold their controllers and mash buttons while JASON and LEATHERFACE do battle on the top of the ping-pong table, machete against chainsaw. (0:39-0:42)

            THE MAN IN THE TELEVISION
      That we are one

BLACK

Predator stands in front of a black plain wearing a bucket on his head and playing a guitar. (0:43-0:55)

INTERCUT W/ IMAGE OF ALAN’S AVATAR against the same plain alone as he sings the lyrics. (0:55-1:00)

            ALAN’S AVATAR
      Sending the beating to go
Send the battle the leaders is ready to roll
      Send the beating to home

The two are now together in the same frame. (1:00-1:02)

            ALAN’S AVATAR
Send the battle the leaders are ready for war

INT. PARKING LOT â€" AFTERNOON

DEATH IN B.G. plays guitar. LIFE sings, but with the same make-up and suit as the man in the television. (1:02-1:11)

            LIFE
      Do you know
      That we are one

INT. FIELD â€" AFTERNOON

The conjoined twins walk with each other in ominous silence. (1:11-1:16)

            LIFE
      We are one

BLACK

Alan’s avatar holds up a sign and shows it to Predator: “This video is pretentious.” In anger, Predator holds up a sign that reads “Shut The Fuck Up.” (1:16-1:23)

            LIFE
      We are one

EXT. DESERT CLIFF â€" AFTERNOON

Alan’s Avatar and Predator fall through the abyss serenely. (1:23-1:26)

EXT. STREET â€" AFTERNOON

Life, on a BICYCLE, rides along. (1:26-1:33)

ON “PRETENTIOUS SIGN” â€" it falls down through the air.

MEDIUM SHOT OF LIFE â€" We PULL BACK and reveal the unconscious Life on the ground, bleeding from the head, the sign lying on the ground next to the collapsed bike. (1:34-1:45)

INT. LIVING ROOM â€" AFTERNOON

Predator has fallen asleep on his couch.

ON TELEVISION â€" it plays a grotesque HAND-PUPPET SHOW. (1:45-1:51)

EXT. DESERT CLIFF â€" AFTERNOON

Alan’s Avatar and Predator fall into a GIANT, TELEVISION SCREEN â€" pure static. (1:52-1:54)

INT. STATIC ABYSS â€" CONTINUOUS

The two fall through the static. HORRIFYING IMAGES intercut in the background. (1:54-2:04)

INT. FIELD â€" DAY

The conjoined twins play with action figures merrily. (2:04-2:07)

INT. STATIC ABYSS â€" TIME INDETERMINABLE

Out of the abyss, something slowly begins to push and emerge.

EXT. STREET â€" DAY

Death, holding the “pretentious” sign bangs the ground with it.

INTERCUT W/ THE STATIC ABYSS as the GREAT THING emerges.

INT. STATIC ABYSS â€" CONTINUOUS

Something tears through the apparently fabric static and is revealed to be a GIANT HEDGEHOG. (2:08-2:26)

            GIANT HEDGEHOG
      Castrate, castrate all
This campaign is hoping as you can never want anything as much as nobody thought you could!

Alan’s Avatar and Predator, wide-eyed, give each other confused side glances. (2:26-2:27)

EXT. STREET â€" DAY

Death beats the pretentious sign against life’s bones like the ape in 2001. (2:27-2:33)

INT. FIELD â€" DAY

ON BROKEN ACTION FIGURE â€" it lies among the flowers.

The conjoined twins, one sad, the other worried and regretful, sit in the field near the broken figure. (2:33-2:36)

EXT. STREET â€" DAY

Death tosses the “pretentious” sign up into the air.

CLOSE ON SIGN AS IT HANGS IN THE AIR. (2:37-2:40)

INT. STATIC ABYSS â€" CONTINUOUS

A GIANT ‘S,’ ‘T,’ ‘F,’ and ‘U’ fall from the sky and wound the hedgehog. The man in the television briefly appears in the static. (2:40-2:41)

            MAN IN THE TELEVISION
      Sending a beating to go

ON SIGN â€" it rises up through the abyss. (2:42-2:44)

Alan’s Avatar grabs the sign. (2:45)

The hedgehog bleeds profusely into the static void.

            GIANT HEDGEHOG
I don’t want poison and everyone’s going crazy

Alan’s Avatar swings and throws the sign.

            GIANT HEDGEHOG
      I need to find a way out of this place

The sign’s stake is LODGED in the HEDGEHOG’S STOMACH.

            GIANT HEDGEHOG
      God damn hell help me

Light begins to issue from of the hedgehog’s wounds as it burns into oblivion. (2:45-2:58)

            GIANT HEDGEHOG
      No poison no please owww

INT. LIVING ROOM â€" DAWN

Predator crawls out of the static of the television set. (2:59-3:01)

EXT. ABANDONED HOUSE â€" DAWN

The conjoined twins run from their home, flailing their action figures in the air. (3:01-3:04)

EXT. ROAD â€" CONTINUOUS

LONG SHOT - The conjoined twins run alongside of the road while cars move backwards. (3:04-3:09)

            THE MAN IN THE TELEVISION
      Do I know who I am?

INT. LAB â€" CONTINUOUS

B/W â€" SCRATCHY; Death takes the BONES OF LIFE and puts them into a CAULDRON. (3:10-3:16)

            THE MAN IN THE TELEVISION
      When I know who you are

INT. ROOM â€" CONTINUOUS

Death enters the room through a DOOR, SMOKE billowing behind him. He closes the door and peaks through the keyhole. (3:17-3:24)

            THE MAN IN THE TELEVISION
      Demons know you try to

INT. LAB â€" CONTINUOUS

CLOSE ON CAULDRON â€" A LARGE WING EMERGES from the bubbling water. (3:25-3:32)

            THE MAN IN THE TELEVISION
      Lights are walking all over you

INT. ROOM â€" CONTINUOUS

Death stands back from the door in horror. (3:32-3:36)

A GIANT CHICKEN bursts through the door. (3:37-3:39)

CLOSE ON CHICKEN’S HEAD â€" it turns and glares at Death. (3:40-3:42)

The Chicken grabs Death by the neck and strangles him while pecking at his skull. (3:43-3:45)

The Chicken and Death thrash around the room, destroying things in their wake. (3:46-3:52)

            THE MAN IN THE TELEVISION
      Sending a beating
      The battle is ready to roll
      Sending a beating
      The battle is ready to roll
      Sending a beating
      The battle is ready to roll
      Everybody is really ready to go

In the chaos, a CONTAINER MARKED “FLAMABLE WASTE” is toppled over. (3:53-3:55)

The two fighters fall to the ground. (3:56-3:57)

LOW ANGLE ON TOP OF DRESSER â€" the shake causes a LIT CANDLESTICK on the top shelf to fall. (3:58-3:59)

INT. STATIC ABYSS â€" CONTINUOUS

The song has ended. A CASTLE floating in the abyss EXPLODES in a great ball of fire. FADE TO BLACK.

FADE IN. TITLE:

            The end

The title remains, until and ending portion FADES IN, completing it.

            The end...?

INT. LIVING ROOM â€" NIGHT

ON TELEVISION â€" static at first, but the channel changes three times, first showing Bruce Lee in Enter the Dragon, then Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, and then a NEWS BROADCAST. A SEXY, FEMALE REPORTER speaks into a mic, standing outside the ABANDONED HOUSE of the twins.

            REPORTER
Thanks, Trisha. Early last night, Deuxberry Police received distressed calls from farmers and food processing plants, claiming that chickens were in fact rising from the dead and attacking livestock and workers. The police initially balked at early reports as elaborate practical jokes, but when word came in from civilians reporting family members being attacked and even killed by flocks of killer chicken, the police took action.

The reporter approaches a CRIME SCENE with covered bodies and INVESTIGATORS.

            REPORTER
Only one of several crime scenes in the immediate area, two young women were found near this abandoned house, their skin scratched severely and showing signs of what investigators confirmed as chicken bites. The mayor of Deuxberry has yet to release a statement concerning the incident, but there is rumor that all over America, and even parts of the United Kingdom and as far as China, there are reports of dead poultry returning to life. Witnessesâ€"

She is cut off by the sound of BOCKING in the distance off-screen. The area freezes; investigators and POLICE stand still and look around themselves, startled. The bocking is heard again.

BLACK. Roll end credits: “JUMPIN’ JACK FLASH” by THE ROLING STONES.

THE END

The song, if anyone hasn't heard it: [u2]GcQ3jpNgLxo[/u2]