How do you Take a Shit?

[teh Hamburgler]

Typically there is a pattern to shitting and by how you shit you can tell what a person is like. This is a little known fun fact but when women date you they put their ear up to the door and listen to you drop the kids at the pool.
 
Typically I Shit, piss, shit, piss and then shit, wait five minutes, shit again, and then wipe my ass. This pattern shows that I am consistent for a long time and then change slightly.
 
Post your shit patterns here IF YOU CAN. I am counting on you clockateers, make me proud.