What happened to me today

[CANNABISCLOCK]

As I stood there, the burning sun's searing rays glistening against my perspiring skin, I knew what had to be done. As I continued along the dry path with nothing more than my soiled loincloth and a strong sense of duty. I knew what had to be done, and I knew who had to do it: me.

As the path grew smaller and the sun grew stronger, I realized my long journey was nearly at an end. The long path was barren, dry, with only a few grayish looking shrubs to accommodate it. I had been traveling for days, for I knew that what I sought out would be here.

As the path finally came to an end, what I sought out was indeed there. The golden treasure of Miller, all for the taking. But stopping dead in my tracks, I noticed a most unfortunate dilemma. The treasure was being guarded by 3 hell ridden demon soldiers. Fear and panic began to creep up my spine as I noticed they noticed me as well.

 The looked at each other with glee and laughter, probably indeed planning to devour my soul and offer it to their demon god.  Though their human disguises were highly believable I would not be fooled.  I had to think quick, and I had to think fast.

"Yo bro, what's with the loincloth" the one demon said. "Haha this guy's fucking nuts what the hell are you doing man?" said the other. The other on just sat there, sneering, probably plotting my demise.

I looked upon the glistening treasure of miller, and I imagined its malty suds going down my throat. I remembered what I had come here for, I remembered what I had sacrificed, what I gave up, and what I suffered for. Jolting my fear and doubts behind my mind, I stepped up and realized what must be done.

Dropping my pants, and roaring my victory to the heavens, I let out 2 glistening, rock solid turds. All the years of practice and training I had undertaken had payed off. The solid logs cascaded through my asshole elegantly and without fail. The three demons stood shaking in fear of my mighty wrath.

"That's sick man!" the demon exclaimed. "What the fuck man did you just take a shit?" the other demon exclaimed. The last one just stood there, blank faced. Most likely petrified in fear of my might.

Knowing that I had weakened them, I knew that I had to promptly land the final blow. Bending over and spreading my buttcheeks farther than goatse. I let out a massive bellowing log that slowly flowed through my asshole like an icecream machine. The three demons fled in fear.

"You sick piece of shit, get the fuck out with that shit" one bellowed back to me as he fled. "Fucking weirdo we're gonna fucking find you and beat the shit out of you" another yelled just as he reached the horrizon.

Though the war was not over, as the demons would surely retaliate, the day had been victorious. I feel to my knees and let out a war cry that bellowed in the valleys for miles. I had did it, I had won.

And as I sat drinking the golden treasure of Miller, I realized I was the mightyest warrior of them all.

[Maltese]

I'm clapping right now

[FLOUNDERMAN_CLOCK]

Chapter Two: The search for the legendary armor of the godking busch

[CANNABISCLOCK]

Chapter Two: The search for the legendary armor of the godking busch

this

[GearBoxClock]

Wow.

Congratulations

[SnakeClock]

I almost threw up my cake while reading that.

This is what "The Eye of Argon" wanted to be.

[BilliardBall10]

wow, that was hillarious.
 
would you like me to post a part too?
 
eh

[CANNABISCLOCK]

should have known this would be a shit thread before clicking

literally

[SpinningCubeClock]

Fabulous. I was eating a toasted cheese and ham sandwich the whole time without even noticing it was slightly disturbing.