Henry Rollins Fucks Shit Up

[Topcatyo]

Austin one day sat on a dildo.  No ordinary dildo, mind you, but a dildo in the shape of Henry Rollins’ body.  Exact size.  As such, Henry Rollins’ body ripped Austin in half, viscera splaying all over the room.  Austin’s pancreas was ripped and whatnot, spreading blood and pancreatic stuffing and cancer all around.  Austin, mind you, was still alive, and he clawed his left half over to his right half and attempted to piece himself together.  He tried to shove his organs back into his ribcage and tried to keep it in by overlapping his torn skin over his other half’s.  It didn’t work, however, and soon Austin’s nerve-endings were so tired of the shit they were dealing with that they worked together and literally strangled Austin’s brain.  However, they used too much pressure, and the front of the brain burst and Austin’s inside brain stuff dripped onto the floor, and Austin died.
However, now, the prophecy was complete.  The dildo in the shape and exact size of Henry Rollins’ body unsolidified and became Henry Rollins himself.  The evil curse the witch had put on him for losing a game of poker was now cured.
Henry Rollins took a look around at the post-apocalyptic world he had now been unfrozen to.  Destroyed remains of burned down buildings all around, smoke billowing up out of the ground and forming its own ozone layer in the sky.  Lightning and thunder were a constant.
Henry Rollins picked up the shattered pieces of Austin’s pelvis and breathed on them, which made them see-through and dark.  He put the pelvis-sunglasses over his eyes, and sniffed.  He smelled sulfur.  He looked toward the tallest structure.  It stood about 50-stories high, amazing it was still standing.  It was less than he had hoped for, but it would have to do.  God was going down.

[Topcatyo]

Notes: Austin my friend who was sitting next to me when I typed this up.

I did not care to do research on this at all so I made shit up when I came at a loss for how things work or what they were called or anything, really.

Henry Rollins fucks shit up.

[Wind-up Clock]

You had me at pelvis sunglasses.

[The Spoiler]

I liked the story, but it would have been much better with Jimmy Rollins.

[Topcatyo]

Jimmy Rollins


Henry Rollins



I rest my case.

[Silly Putty Clock]

Jimmy Rollins


Henry Rollins



I rest my case.

Hahaha yeah.Now get on AIM. >:C

[FLOUNDERMAN_CLOCK]

I don't know what's better, the story or this picture.

[Silly Putty Clock]

I don't know what's better, the story or this picture.

Obviously the story because the picture doesn't have Henry Rollins.

[SoBe Clock]

Loved the story man. Really good stuff.

You should write more!

[K3LTR0N]

I laughed, I cried, I portrayed every other emotion imaginable while reading this story.

[Topcatyo]

Loved the story man. Really good stuff.

You should write more!

I plan on writing a spiritual sequel starring Franz Fernandez.

I laughed, I cried, I portrayed every other emotion imaginable while reading this story.

That's so awesome because writing this story gave me explosive diarrhea.

[Silly Putty Clock]

You should write a story about Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids.