Remeber that grouphug.us thing?

SoBe Clock · February 24, 2009, 09:30:06 PM

Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML

Kombucha · February 24, 2009, 09:32:19 PM

Today, I went to see a movie with the girl I 've liked for months. After the commercials, she told me she had to go to the ladies room. She never came back. FML

Today, I ran up to my boyfriend and gave him a kiss, i didn't understand why the girl next to him got upset, turns out the voicemail I deleted by accident was him breaking up with me. FML

Quote from: The Angriest Hot Dog;1528144Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML

Lmao

Silly Putty Clock · February 24, 2009, 09:38:19 PM

Quote from: The Angriest Hot Dog;1528144Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML

Roman Collar Clock · February 25, 2009, 01:53:48 AM

Most of these make me laugh, but they end up making me depressed.

ChimeClock · February 25, 2009, 02:22:15 AM

Quote from: MonsterMunchClock;1528010Today, my girlfriend dumped me proclaiming she wanted someone more like her "Edward". I asked her who Edward was. She held up a copy her "Twilight" book. She was talking about a fictional vampire. FML

what a disgrace to the name Edward.

Today, I was pissing in a urinal and I had the urge to sneeze. Unable to hold it, I sneezed and hit my head on a metal beam supporting the urinal. In complete disarray, I had to step back from the urinal while pissing and managed to spray the floor, the wall, and the person next to me. FML

Today, I went to the gym and worked out with a trainer. While doing arm exercises he commented on how impressed he was with the size of my triceps. That really boosted my self-confidence, until he leaned in to feel them and said, "Oh, it's just fat." FML

Today, I was presenting a powerpoint. As I plugged in the cord that connected my computer to the projector, I had forgotten what my boyfriend had set my desktop picture to the night before. I opened my laptop and projected on the wall was me nude. I go to Catholic school. FML

Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML

Today, my hard drive on my computer crashed with all of my files on it. I took it to my Dad, who is a computer analyst, to see if he could recover anything. The only thing that he could salvage was my illustrious collection of porn. FML

peyoteclock · February 25, 2009, 02:52:35 AM

Quote from: InterstateClock;1528067Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house and I heard a strange sound. I laughed and said, "It sounds like a dog throwing up!" He listened for a second and said "That's my mom crying downstairs." FML

this one made me lol out loud

WiiClock · February 25, 2009, 03:08:18 AM

Quote from: Abs in the Hot Dog;1528111The repurcussions of Joey's actions have been farther-reaching than anticipated.

:(

these are amazing

BoxyBrownClock · February 25, 2009, 03:19:15 AM

Today, I went to the Doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML

Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with comdoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML

Today, my mother told me that my father once told her that he was glad she wasn't a red head. He wouldn't have married her if she was because he hates red heads. I am his red-headed daughter. FML

GodClock · February 25, 2009, 03:31:04 AM

some are funny but some are really sad :c

RobClock · February 25, 2009, 06:51:48 AM

Quote from: GodClock;1528372some are funny but some are really sad :c

most fall into the first category
"Today, I went to get a condom because my boyfriend and I were going to have sex for the first time. When I opened the drawer, I saw that every single condom had a Jesus pin stabbed through it, and a note on top of the box: "love mom." FML"

salmonberryclock · February 25, 2009, 09:33:20 AM

Today, everyone at school was talking about some guy that had sex with another girl while he was going out with someone. I started to spread the rumor myself, until someone told me that that guy was my boyfriend. The other girl was my best friend. FML

Today, I got up early and really put some extra effort into my appearance to catch the eye of a cute guy at work. I walked in and the woman that sits in the desk beside me looks over and says, "wow, are you sick? You're not looking too good." FML

Today, my mom decided to give me relationship advice. She told me the key to a happy/successful relationship was "letting your man explore ALL your orifices." FML

Today, my parents gave me a shirt from Banana Republic for my birthday. It looked like one I had bought for myself a couple of days earlier but I thanked them and went to hang it in my closet. An empty hanger hung where I placed the shirt I had purchased. They gave me my shirt for my birthday. FML

CourgetteClock · February 25, 2009, 02:39:42 PM

QuoteToday, I accidently walked in on my girlfriend masturbating so I said to her "Need a hand with that?", to which she replied "I'm doing fine here on my own, don't ruin it". FML

.

PirateClock · February 25, 2009, 02:56:04 PM

Quote from: GaydadsintheClock;1527985Today, me and my girlfriend were watching some show about sex on the discovery channel. The topic of female orgasms came up and she said, "Wow, I wonder what that's like?" We've been dating and sexually active for three years.

hahah awkward.

QuoteToday, I went to a movie with my boyfriend. In the lobby, I asked why the glasses were not working. I said, "Do they only work inside the theater?" My boyfriend replied, "3-D glasses just work inside the movie, everything else in the World is pretty much 3-D." FML

hahaha this is the sort of thing why me and my ex broke up, she would always say the dumbest shit and i would make fun of her until she almost cried.

QuoteToday, I drunk dialed my mom and told her I was so high and drunk that I thought the KGB was coming after me. When I woke up this morning, my mom told me that she's no longer paying for college. FML

QuoteToday, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom busted in my room to ask if I'm okay because she thought the squeaking was my crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML

QuoteToday, in front of the entire family, I yelled at my mom and told her she wasn't a good parent. She responded with "Well, at least I had friends when I was your age." FML

haha burn

And this one should be painfully familiar to allot of us:

QuoteToday, I realized that I know more about the Transformers history than I do about talking to women. FML

Kombucha · February 25, 2009, 07:59:16 PM

Quote from: Salmonberryclock;1528457Today, my parents gave me a shirt from Banana Republic for my birthday. It looked like one I had bought for myself a couple of days earlier but I thanked them and went to hang it in my closet. An empty hanger hung where I placed the shirt I had purchased. They gave me my shirt for my birthday. FML

Hahaha wow.

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Remeber that grouphug.us thing?