is he dead yet

[PhantomCatClock]

I think that guy's username is like the chinese knockoff of a forum mod's username, but I can't remember what the real version is

[Slurpee]

I got a new comment on my Newgrounds page

are there any coherent human beings left on newgrounds? does anybody know?

[Slurpee]

everybody says Batman beats Superman in Dark Knight Returns, but he kind of doesn't? and it's not really the point of the story either way.
the first thing that happens is Superman survives a point-blank nuclear explosion, so, asterisk next to the W, first of all,

but so Superman goes to reason with Batman, about the superhero registration act, and Batman immediately starts trying to murder him, and it's barely working, and Superman is still trying to reason with him like a dork
so Batman signals Green Arrow to shoot him with kryptonite, which Batman had been synthesizing in secret for years, and Batman beats him up, while Superman is just going "Bruce dude you're gonna have a heart attack"
then it turns out this entire thing is actually batman's secret plan to make it look like he's trying so hard to kill Superman that he has a heart attack and dies, a plan which does not work. Superman sees through the ruse and jsut decides not to do anything, and winks at the camera.

so, with batman operating in secret, they can continue each helping the world in their own way without being pitted against each other. good end

but people post that one page of batman punching superman like "haha owned"
but it's like

HAMLET
    Come, for the third, Laertes: you but dally;
    I pray you, pass with your best violence;
    I am afeard you make a wanton of me.

LAERTES
    Say you so? come on.

    They play

OSRIC
    Nothing, neither way.

LAERTES
    Have at you now!

    LAERTES wounds HAMLET

wow folks guess laertes won, unbelievable! haha laertes alwats wins. #poisonedbladeBITCH
polonius is avenged, long live king claudius. *makes a movie called Laertes V. Hamlet Dawn of Justice*

[FLOUNDERMAN_CLOCK]

*makes a movie called Laertes V. Hamlet Dawn of Justice*

I can't wait till it's adapted into Lion King IV

[PhantomCatClock]

Ha, Audible's April Fools prank was them saying they had a new audiobook for gold members for free. Click the link. It was Encyclopedia Dramatica. Haha. Funny. Add to cart. Checkout. Listen. Jesus shit, they actually did it. Abridged, of course (it's Audible, jesus). Abridged to only be articles that make the readers say balls. Ten outta ten. Only listened to the preview, but I hope it's a real download.

[RobClock]

The Clock Crew is just as relevant now as it was five years ago.
















































ha ha april fools

[Zeffy]

I need to harass someone.

[AnkhClock]

harass me

[Losperman]

Harass Ankh.

[BilliardBall10]

gee, what a har-ass-ment!

badum tish

[pop-tart]

So I heard that song a hundred times and just now realized 'out of student loans and treehouse homes we all would take the latter' is a pun.

[Zeffy]

harass me

shhhhweeeeeeeeeeet!!!!

[Losperman]

harass me

shhhhweeeeeeeeeeet!!!!

Your harassment skills need some fine tuning.

[Zeffy]

harass me

shhhhweeeeeeeeeeet!!!!

Your harassment skills need some fine tuning.

Totally needs some.

I don't have Pinty to harass. It feels weird

[Zeffy]

I just realized I'm too lazy to harass people

[PhantomCatClock]

chocolate rain

[Losperman]

I just realized I'm too lazy to harass people

Yeah, it takes a lot of time to do it right.

[Zeffy]

I just realized I'm too lazy to harass people

Yeah, it takes a lot of time to do it right.

Very much so.

When I want to harass people, I want to do it right.

[Zeffy]

OMG

WHAT THE FFFFFFF?????

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VjMsw09MTQ&oref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D-VjMsw09MTQ&has_verified=1

[Losperman]

OMG

WHAT THE FFFFFFF?????

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VjMsw09MTQ&oref=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3D-VjMsw09MTQ&has_verified=1

Also, how did I never come across this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t-7mQhSZRgM