whole foods market

[PhantomCatClock]

what's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?


I wouldn't pay $75 to have a garbanzo bean on my face

I didn't know they were the same thing until I heard that joke and it really helps, working in a grocery store because only like one package says both

[zl]

I wouldn't pay $75 to have a garbanzo bean on my face

tee hee

[Luwano]

You can't join ISIS, they only accept hummus sapiens.

[BilliardBall10]

I checked Wikipedia to see where the whole 72 virgins thing comes from, since it doesn't really make sense, right?
[...]
-you will be united in healthy, eternally youthful forms with all of your loved ones, for through God all things are possible ALSO THEY WILL SMELL MUSKY AND BE EXACTLY SIXTY CUBITS TALL AND YOU WILL BE ABLE TO SEE INSIDE OF THEIR GLIMMERING SHANKS TO THE MARROW BENEATH THEIR FLESH YEEEEAAAAAHHHH

lol, good work, slurps!

as for the huris:

hmmm, OK.

so, according to their ideology, women will be 60 cubic tall, impressive, with clear (luminous!) skin, and with golden marrow underneath their shanks, right?
so, i have to analyse this:

-according to the roman cubits, 60 cubits are: ~26,6 meters.

-according to the greek cubits, 60 cubits are: ~27,7 meters.

so, all those sexy angels will be at least 26 meters tall. this could make things difficult for any heavenly newcomer, since he would need a huge (set of) ladder(s) just in order to kiss them. (unless he's into sizeplay, in which case, its OK) 

-also, why the hell would the ''glittering, golden marrow of their shanks'' be an attractibe thing? i mean yeah, it COULD be useful if its dark in heaven and you want to find your keys, but other than that, there's no real use for this function. (unless you're into shiny shanks, in which case, you're set!)

oh, and is a shank=the calf? AKA=is it the area between the knee and the ankle?
still, shanks/calves cant be very sexy. now, thighs/boobs, on the other hand...

but yeah, the old man was crazy. shining marrow from their calves? golden combs? sweat that smells like musk? (probably thanks 2 deodorant, lol!)
nah, i prefer the nonexistent dystopia of realism, man.

also:

this is my favorite though

the Quran does state that in Heaven, all believers would be granted not only the eternal company of houris, but also that of "boys of perpetual freshness"

now I know I only know ONE group of boys of perpetual freshness, y'all

mang, whatever you do, dont join them crazies. (lol jk)
the mormons also have ''men of perpetual freshness'' in their heaven too. (jk)
to be honest though, moslems advertise a heaven filled with tall, angelic women and fresh boys.
so, my question is: if they advertise sexy boys of eternal freshness in heavenz, then WHY do they hate LGBT people?
ffs kebabs, stop being so damn hypocrites.

[PhantomCatClock]

actually all isis members are super into furry


look up 'macro' some time and you'll see why it's their jam

[GreyClock]

ffs kebabs, stop being so damn hypocrites.

That's both racist and ironic coming from a gyro!

[PhantomCatClock]

a supergyro

[Slurpee]

somebody acknowledge my hilarious Boyz II Men joke or I'm leaving the clock crew

[Luwano]

... or I'm leaving the clock crew

D:
[u2]DBUz2nkOKsc[/u2]

[BilliardBall10]

ffs kebabs, stop being so damn hypocrites.

That's both racist and ironic coming from a gyro!

indeed. but gyro is always better than kebab.

#culinary superiority

(lol)

somebody acknowledge my hilarious Boyz II Men joke or I'm leaving the clock crew

i hereby acknowledge slurpee's hillarious boyz2men joke, and i declare that its awesome and i totally got it.
good job, sir slurpee! (srsly though, i liked the joke, and all the previous slurpee posts. i hope that you liked mine as well.)

[PhantomCatClock]

i hereby acknowledge slurpee's hillarious boyz2men joke, and i declare that its awesome and i totally got it.
good job, sir slurpee! (srsly though, i liked the joke, and all the previous slurpee posts. i hope that you liked mine as well.)

[SockpuppetClock]

this is my favorite though

the Quran does state that in Heaven, all believers would be granted not only the eternal company of houris, but also that of "boys of perpetual freshness"

now I know I only know ONE group of boys of perpetual freshness, y'all
[u2]fV8vB1BB2qc[/u2]

lol

i hereby acknowledge slurpee's hillarious boyz2men joke, and i declare that its awesome and i totally got it.

lol

[Slurpee]

thanks y'all, that was a close one





and I guess I sort of
like your guys' posts, too... b-baka

[PhantomCatClock]

yes, we have bonded. cum in my general vicinity



just like in the same room as me









[u2]FQRW0RM4V0k[/u2]

[GreyClock]

indeed. but gyro is always better than kebab.

Here is a gyro I made for you, I undercooked the parasite-riddled meat, burned the pita, used rotten vegetables, the tzatziki has a special ingredient (organically farmed jizz from a Turkish man named Osman) and before handing it to you I dropped the whole thing in dog shit, enjoy!

Didn't you Greeks just rip off the Ottoman kebab and call it a gyro? "This is better and ours and not at all exactly 100% the same as kebab." "The name comes from Greek γύρος ('turn'), meaning "turn"; it was originally called ντονέρ (pronounced [doˈner]) in Greek, from Turkish döner kebab. The word 'ντονέρ' was criticized in Greece for being Turkish, and the word 'gyros' was coined to replace it." Haha, wow. Would you like some freedom fries with that?

[PhantomCatClock]

freedom comes from greece^[1]

[zl]

freedom comes from greece^[1]

I tried to click

[RobClock]

freedom comes from greece^[1]

I tried to click

Hey ZL how did PAX go?

[BilliardBall10]

Here is a gyro I made for you, I undercooked the parasite-riddled meat, burned the pita, used rotten vegetables, the tzatziki has a special ingredient (organically farmed jizz from a Turkish man named Osman) and before handing it to you I dropped the whole thing in dog shit, enjoy!

Didn't you Greeks just rip off the Ottoman kebab and call it a gyro? "This is better and ours and not at all exactly 100% the same as kebab." "The name comes from Greek γύρος ('turn'), meaning "turn"; it was originally called ντονέρ (pronounced [doˈner]) in Greek, from Turkish döner kebab. The word 'ντονέρ' was criticized in Greece for being Turkish, and the word 'gyros' was coined to replace it." Haha, wow. Would you like some freedom fries with that?

first of all, take that dirty gyro away, and give me a clean one. a crystal-clear one, with fresh, nicely cooked meat, without heavy seasoning, laced only with mustard and epicness, and only add sweet french fries in it. then wrap it up, and give it to me while it is perfectly wrapped in a (clean) paper wrap, and rotated at 90 degrees, while its placed on a(n equally clean) tray.

i would give you a clean, perfect gyro. i demand the same.

as for the origins of gyros:
indeed, kebab/imam baildi are turkish (culinary) inventions, but you see, after we have been raped 400 years by the turks, we had to get something good out of this case.
so, when they gave us turkish clothes, we changed them into the 1700's/1800's greek-styled skirt+shirt outfits;
when they stole our pandoura(ancient greek guitar-like string instrument), they created the turkish saz(or baglama), and we then recrafted that organ into a byzantine tampouras (name comes from the persian word ''tanbur'' e.g. to strike), and then, we recrafted/customized the tampouras into the bouzouki,  which was super-awesome.
as for gyros, well, we saw the whole sliced donner thing and we decided to customise that thing as well into a more greek version, and hence the greek gyros was born.

(to be fair though, the word ''shish'' in ''shish kebab'' means ''pig/pork'' in greek (shish=συς=pig/pork) , so i can tell that we've created a hellenized version of kebab as well. oh, and kebab is actually a word of aramaic origin, meaning ''roasted meat''.)

however, its worth mentioning that grilling meat on a skewer has ancient roots in the eastern mediterranean region, with evidence ranging from the mycenaean greek and minoan periods, amongst other things.

so, we might have not invented ''gyros'' altogether, but we have definitely invented souvlaki.
and thats a cool thing to know.

horrizontal skewers FTW!

PS: the word ''συς''
https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/σῦς
also, the origins of souvlaki
http://www.livescience.com/42414-ancient-cooking-mycenaeans-portable-grills.html

PS2: as for the freedom fries, we might havent invented fries(potatoes are 100% native american, just like corn), but we have certainly invented freedom.

freedom comes from greece^[1]

FREEDOOOOOM!11oneone (lol)

[Luwano]

In order to feel like Germany also had an impact on global history too, I should note that turkish immigrants in Berlin were the first to put the "Döner Kebap" in a piece of bread to sell them as street food, because they figured germans were more likely to buy it that way. Or so they say.