gary brolsma meet n greet

[VCRClock]

fear not, I only use my ray ban meta glasses to transcribe every word I say so that it's searchable and indexed for when future generations (and today's smart set) treat it as gospel

[PhantomCatClock]

not to be problematic or anything——i'm from the 90's. it was a different time——but more like meta gaybans

[Slurpee]

bigfoot's a ghost, that's why they can't find him. it's hard to find ghosts

[PhantomCatClock]

honestly sometimes i feel like you didn't even play that copy of sam and max hit das road that i sent you

[PhantomCatClock]

i was watching gameplay on youtube and noticed a cool easter egg. apparently if you run out of lives on mario bros, it plays a different jingle after the death jingle

[BlueBasketballClock]

 Oooo interesting

i was watching gameplay on youtube and noticed a cool easter egg. apparently if you run out of lives on mario bros, it plays a different jingle after the death jingle

Interesting

[PhantomCatClock]

godzilla is the most famous person whose name starts with a g

[PhantomCatClock]

what if sisyphus is just horny for boulders

[Slurpee]

we must imagine sisyphus jacking off

[JellyClock]

did i just hear a smoke detector chirp in here

[Slurpee]

god damn them all
I was told we'd cruise the seas for american gold

[FLOUNDERMAN_CLOCK]

so brownie brown, who worked on mother 3 and some other stuff (including kappa's trail which I also want to play), made this fun and dreamy little gba game called magical vacation.



in magical vacation your healing items are carbonated gummy frogs that run wild in the region. if you keep reloading the area and catching them all they start to dwindle in number until they go extinct. love spirits increasingly start to reject you. I think the gummy worms taste like soda too they're for MP but they can hide in holes if you don't catch them fast enough. they can go extinct but nobody gets pissed off at you. beauty spirits think they're gross and make you dump them after a certain amount though.



now say you want a gummy frog to join your party. this game expects you to find at least one person with a physical copy of it to link with you for every magic element you didn't pick except for three, five of the same type as you to get one of those other three, and then you have to level up all of those elements until you learn all their spells which unlocks dark magic which FINALLY lets you get light magic at the end of the game. you also need 100 total individual people to link with. this unlocks two entire secret dungeons and several secret characters, most importantly an ACTUAL gummy frog party member who you battle alongside instead of catching and eating like the rest of their species.



this process also upgrades a hot spring resort managed by regular talking pigeons but that isn't important. what's important is that this game has a variety of spirits to befriend including one variety who you can't fully befriend without EVER catching a gummy frog before you find the last one. all the different spirits represent a different element and they don't have the same moral code so doing some stuff to befriend a spirit will piss off another one. you can't get dark spirits without catching gummy frogs. you can't get light spirits if you recruited dark spirits. blade spirits demand you get rid of any gummy frogs you have even the ones you got as regular drops. but if you have the guy who actually uses blade magic he secretly picks up all the gummy frogs again after the spirit joins you and tells you not to be so serious.



the main thrust of the game is that you're kids at a magical school sent on a vacation that's secretly meant to train them for war. they're attacked right away by creatures called enigmas which can never be permanently killed but can't act effectively outside of their dimension without posessing someone. some people get possessed on purpose because you do become the dominant personality, but if you lose control they can take you over for good. which they usually do.

the gameplay starts out overwhelmingly compleicated and then you realize it's just a regular jrpg and you don't need to be so serious. just worry about the elemental interactions as they come. MP isn't an issue you gain a chunk back every turn. importantly you eventually get access to the magical dimension hopping school bus which you can ransack for random crap hidden in the cushions. there's a dedicated option for it. I found some shoes and a gummy worm once.  every character has some sort of use in the overworld and one of them is to scare off giant floating pirahnas from mugging you. another is to find worms under rocks. nobody else knows how to do that.



also there's a robot called flounder. they're all named  after fish but the game just happened to leave me with it in my party longer than the others. imagine that. robots are a waste of a team slot because they don't level up or respond to cutscenes but you can stuff them full of string and old fruit and rocks which makes them stronger.



right now I'm in the death plane, the last of three and the only one that's physically real. in this world when you die you return to this plane feeling as if you just finished a good book, your accumulated memories and experiences are absorbed into your true self, and you're reborn again and again until eventually you become a sentient star that becomes a new planet. Not enigmas though they just get reborn right away as they were but a little stronger. they're all assholes. I'm gonna march into hell at beat their king's stupid out of him before sasuke ganache does. did I say everybody in this and every location is named after food? that's very important.



so far I'd give it an "okay yeah I liked that" out of ten. pretty good. as the replacement for super famicom wars as my "I need to dick around on my phone for a bit" game it has done its job very well.

[VCRClock]

this game sounds cool. (but I've also never played a jrpg that didn't feel like a jrpg, don't tell me what happens at the end of earthbound I'll get there in another few years.)

how, if any, do you get around the game's ridiculous link cable expectations? is there an emulation hack for it, do you GameShark it, do you sit and spin?

[FLOUNDERMAN_CLOCK]

the gameshark codes are for useless crap like infinite hp and money. nobody thought to make one that just maxes out your friend list on the spot. the only realistic way to play those dungeons in english is to download a modified save file and I didn't find this out until halfway through the game. you of course don't get to choose your character name this way and there's no gameshark code for that either. the wii u virtual console version comes patched so if you choose the communication option it just unlocks everything on your save file instead of waiting for another player, but that's not the version with a translation. there's no way to upgrade the ricebird hot spring in it either but I think that's just visual changes. I think the only way anyone accomplished all this on the original japanese copy was through an event they held after the game released just for that purpose.

so basically I'm locked into the sit+spin route unless I buy two flash carts, move my save over to one, and restart the other's save file a hundred times. I doubt I'll play this a second time but if I do I'll try a save file with everything on it already.

[Slurpee]

portland, oregon
portworld orlando
tokyo portland

[Slurpee]

I hate infinite scrolling I hate infinite scrolling I hate infinite scrolling I hate infinite scrolling I hate infinite scrolling I hate infinite scrolling I hate infinite scrolling I hate infinite scrolling

[PhantomCatClock]

if you ever get tired of uppers portland, maine has downers portland

[VCRClock]

budget's tight, we're going to portflags over texas

[PhantomCatClock]

I never sleep at my desk. I normally have to assemble the Five Sleep Talismans and do a whole fuckin' thing before i go to bed, but man, I just bolted upright and panicked because my clock day movie wasn't done, opened flash, panicked AGAIN because the latest file was my LAST clock day thing so I'd have to start all over, and then it wasn't until I tried to remember what it was to recreate it that I remembered i didn't start one



but my first idea was to steal a ytmnd i liked that never got over 2000 views so that's probably what i'll do next year

[Slurpee]

*returns from the mountains carrying a slab of wisdom*

"certainty is not an epistemological mechanism by which humans measure truth, it's a psychological mechanism by which humans quell anxiety over unknowability"


I am certain about this