gary brolsma meet n greet

[PhantomCatClock]

florida man finds fark of the covenant

[Slurpee]

you so crazyyyy
I think I wanna steal yo baby

[VCRClock]

your parrot has a 200 word vocabulary?

impressive.

mine is trained on YouTube Poop and he writes his own stuff

[Slurpee]

just learned "In the Hall of the Mountain King" was written sarcastically



this puts it in the company of "Cum On Feel the Noize" and "Fight for Your Right" in the pantheon of songs where somebody went "duhhhh duhhh duhhh haha that's what those idiots over there sound like" and the world responded "wow that's an awesome song. that's your best song, actually. in fact this is what you're famous for now, forever"

update: it's actually a lot cooler and funnier than this

In the Hall of the Mountain King was written as a score for a Norwegian play called Peer Gynt
in the play, Peer meets a bunch of trolls who are sort of a parody of self-centeredness, whom, having little to no culture or accomplishments, are simply and aggressively proud of being who they are, and work themselves into a frenzy in their excitement over how sick it is to be them. they're prone to hollow pride and fond of the slogan "to thyself be enough", a parody of "to thine own self be true"- sort of the 19th century version of making fun of people who insist that they're "real" as a way of justifying having no tact or sense of responsibility towards their fellow man ("if you can't handle me at my worst" etc)

the opening four bars are extraordinarily basic, almost a melody you'd hear from a toybox, because this motif represents the dense, unquestioning self-satisfaction of the trolls- these are not a complex people. and it just repeats and repeats and repeats and repeats.
it's sort of like... you know in the movie Orange County where everybody unquestioningly loves the song "Butterfly" by Crazy Town and can't get enough of it and it's like a mark of their stupidity and how badly the main character needs to escape?
but "Mountain King" takes this only-slightly-creepy feeling of wrongness that everybody around you is so uncritically into something so oppressively stupid, and just keeps amplifying it and amplifying it and amplifying it until it's less like Orange County and more like Two Thousand Maniacs
Grieg keeps the mindless repetition going but keeps adding instruments and layering in more and more sounds and the tempo keeps accelerating, bit by bit, ramping up from the plodding, dorky doop-ba doop-ba doop-ba doop, to an alarming, cacophonous DOOP-DOOP-DOOP-DOOP-DOOPDOOPDOOP so by the time the percussion comes in the feeling is frenzied, almost terrifying
in Peer Gynt, the trolls are sort of a dark reflection of Peer's irresponsibility, they're what he looks like if he can't grow the fuck up. when Grieg talks of "cow paddies" and "ultra-norwegianism" he's explaining what he brought to his interpretation- the fear of provincialism. he associated this kind of thoughtless mania with backwater nationalism, because when you imagine a whole group of people who believe without reason that whatever it is they are is the best, just 'cause, apparently that's just what came to mind

so... no, he didn't quite write it "sarcastically", he set out to make a song that shows how harrowing it is to be surrounded by thoughtless morons prone to working themselves into a frenzy, the terrifying feeling of harmless group enthusiasm crossing a threshold and turning feral, becoming a runaway, self-propelling entity that no longer feels safe, and he pretty much nailed it

[Slurpee]

a duck walks into a record store and goes up to the counter.
he says, "got any gwapes?"
the clerk is nonplussed. "no, we don't have any 'gwapes,'" he says.
"ok," the duck says. the duck leaves.
the duck comes back the next day, and goes up to the counter again.
"you got any gwapes?" he asks.
"yes," the clerk replies.
he shows the duck to the gwapes. they're beautiful.

[Slurpee]

a duck walks into a record store and goes up to the counter. the clerk staples him to the counter. they are magnificent and terrible, and between them they whisper ancient words and secret things.

[Slurpee]

you are a record store clerk, lost in the mists of your own life, a dense, suffocating fog of choices not made. a duck comes in and walks up to the counter. you laugh and laugh, and the duck sings to you softly in a language you almost understand

[Slurpee]

you are a duck. damn your eyes. damn mine.

[Slurpee]

the duck and the clerk are alone now, each of them, the clerk amid a brief infinity to wonder what he could have done differently. if I saw that duck now, he thinks, I would leap with joy. I would tell him he was perfect, and thank him, that little visitor to my placid isle of being.
in the next life, if somebody should ask him about the duck, he will praise it above all things.

[Slurpee]

a duck walks into a record store and you're sure you've heard this one before, but you don't mind. you smile and laugh at all the right spots. coming from such perfect lips, the words are almost as lovely as you're so desperate pretend they are in hope of making them smile. being the one to make those lips glad. it could save or destroy you, beautiful boy. we could be monsters to each other. we really could.

[Slurpee]

a man who was never a record store clerk and a duck who never needed gwapes pass by each other. a fleeting moment of something not unlike recognition hovers unspoken in the air. say something. say something.

[Slurpee]

you stare at the words that no longer contain the shape of the gwapes. it doesn't matter, you tell yourself. you'd find them in any lifetime. yet you're fascinated, transfixed. how the structure seems to have collapsed yet collapses still. forms in the shadows, of duck and gwape and man. what has gone missing? can you tell me who we were?

[VCRClock]

a duck walks into a bookstore. the clerk says "oh God I know where this is going. look--" the duck shakes his head and produces a printout of page 6045 of clockcrew's biggest topic. then he says, "you know anything about literature? I'm looking at these slurpeeclock posts and I'm sure he's alluding to famous books I haven't read, but to be honest he lost me right after gwieg"

[JellyClock]

i read you guys' posts and see them and think 'wow what funny and interesting guys i bet they'd be funny and interesting in person'. if you could disprove that real quick that'd be great as i dont want to get FOMO

[PhantomCatClock]

i read you guys' posts and see them and think 'wow what funny and interesting guys i bet they'd be funny and interesting in person'. if you could disprove that real quick that'd be great as i dont want to get FOMO

one time i got mad at a video game and i was home alone and i grabbed my shirt to pull on it like i was gonna rip it but not hard enough to actually rip it, except it was some space age fabric and not the cheap cotton/spandex it felt like, so the shirt had no give at all at that pull force and it rubbed the skin off the inside of my pinky finger like completely off the knuckle joint area and left a really cool scar

the moral of the story is on the surface i look like a cool anime tertiary character but all of these scars have stories that are extremely not interesting nor funny

[PhantomCatClock]

what is "autoerotic pumpkin disorder" and why does my browser give a warning about it every time i use homogang to come to this thread but not when i manually navigate here through clockcrew.net

[PhantomCatClock]

call me a basic simp skibidi gooning, but

I'd like to go on record saying I really love Brennan Lee Mulligan. Everything I see him in, I think, "oh, that'll be a cute crossover" and he blows my expectations out of the water

[PhantomCatClock]

I guess that's why I never watch anything he does. Just his appearances on stuff that I also otherwise don't watch


I'm a true fandom-fan except I actually like this The Thing It's About, I just don't watch it

[PhantomCatClock]

holliday cho-

°°°°°-OOOO-ooooo-whoooooa-ooo-OOOOO-ooo-oo-OOOOOOOODE

[Slurpee]

holliday cho-

°°°°°-OOOO-ooooo-whoooooa-ooo-OOOOO-ooo-oo-OOOOOOOODE

hehe