Mark Wahlberg is Very Convincing

Slurpee · January 06, 2011, 06:01:05 AM

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RobClock · January 06, 2011, 06:42:49 AM

Now that is how you act!

PolyhedronClock · January 06, 2011, 06:53:03 AM

something about the way he moves his head creeps me out big time.

Topcatyo · January 06, 2011, 08:59:23 AM

NAWT YOU, NAWT YOU, NAWT YOU, NAWT YOU, NAWT YOU, NAWT YOU, AND NAWT YOU!

Slurpee · January 06, 2011, 09:53:20 AM

try to think of how you'd react when an insane old woman giving you quarter during a national disaster suddenly accuses you of planning to rob and murder her. your creeping suspicions that she's insane are confirmed, and you have to talk some sense into her before the situation gets any worse than it already is.
now imagine a perfectly normal old woman walks in on you mouth-fucking a horse, and you have to hobble into the other room after her with your withering horse-slobbered erection haphazardly tucked into your jeans and act really hard as if you were not just doing that.
which character was marky mark playing?

it's almost the same reaction the wkuk guys pull in this sketch:
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I won't even give a time stamp, you'll know it when you see it.

how bad do you have to be at making movies to want to produce a creepy scene where a guy is surprised by an old woman accusing him of plotting to rob and murder her, and instead accidentally make one about a man very poorly trying to play off the fact that he was planning to rob and murder an old woman?

what insane, perfect storm of poor film-making went into this?
to be a fly on the wall when shymalon was giving wahlberg his direction...

clockradioclock · January 06, 2011, 10:05:02 AM

"ok, mark, now imagine a perfectly normal old woman walks in on you mouth-fucking a horse, and you have to hobble into the other room after her with your withering horse-slobbered erection haphazardly tucked into your jeans and act really hard as if you were not just doing that."

WHAT? NOOOO

Slurpee · January 06, 2011, 12:12:46 PM

yeah. marky's actually such a good actor that one of the running theories on the internet is that he was deliberately trying to subvert it into an enjoyable b-movie. it seems more likely to me that his strengths as an actor require a firm direction to go in, and the happening simply didn't have one.
if shyamalan ever had the ability to properly utilize talent, I don't know what happened to it.

watching the happening unfold the way it does is actually kind of tragic. you can tell there's a good movie buried in there somewhere, and, once upon a time, m. night might have been the one to find it.

buttplug · January 06, 2011, 09:59:42 PM

stating the obvious here but he really shot himself in the foot by becoming that guy who always does the twist endings. I dunno if anyone will take him seriously again.

Poltergeist · January 08, 2011, 07:23:23 PM

I can't believe you posted this.

My friends and I have been saying "What? No" and "No ma'am we're not" in Mark Wahlberg voice for over a year now.

"Okay Mark, look, this is a secret right - the fans of the movie may figure this out years down the line, maybe some guys in film school - we're ganna make a classic I tell ya! - so, right, anyway. Yeah, Mark, the thing is, your character here, right, he actually was planning on robbing and murdering her. Woah! I know, right? But the thing is, you forget you're planning on murdering her halfway through telling her you aren't going to, and then you forget the question entirely! We're fucking artists, Mark."

I think Wahlberg is a pretty decent actor, but he really needs a good director backing him (my man Paul T. Anderson in Boogie Nights). I can't wait for the Uncharted movie - although David O Russel has worked well with Marky Mark before, I just don't think poor doughy-eyed, sincere Mark Wahlberg can play cocky, confident ladies-man Nathan Drake. The closest he can get is violent racist.

Topcatyo · January 08, 2011, 10:56:40 PM

So it turns out this movie was on TV last night, so my friends and I watched a bit of it (I'd never seen it before).

Why does Markal Wahlberg try to convince the shotgun-wielding homeowner that they're sane by singing Black Water by The Doobie Brothers?

Poltergeist · January 09, 2011, 11:38:43 AM

Quote from: topcatyo;1801381So it turns out this movie was on TV last night, so my friends and I watched a bit of it (I'd never seen it before).

Why does Markal Wahlberg try to convince the shotgun-wielding homeowner that they're sane by singing Black Water by The Doobie Brothers?

That scene where the kids are killed really pissed me off. Usually kid kills are something to look forward to, but that scene was so amazingly stupid. Why would he kill BOTH kids? Why even fucking kill one?

Topcatyo · January 09, 2011, 02:48:55 PM

Quote from: Poltergeist;1801563That scene where the kids are killed really pissed me off. Usually kid kills are something to look forward to, but that scene was so amazingly stupid. Why would he kill BOTH kids? Why even fucking kill one?

Yeah I didn't get that either. Like the kids are going to be any kind of threat to them.

HeinekenClock · January 13, 2011, 04:42:57 AM

Before the happening I don't think I've ever seen Mark Wahlberg in a movie before (or I simply don't remember them) but that movie sucked so hard I thought he was one of those actors that only play in really expensive shitty movies.

But then I saw the other guys, which wasn't the best movie I've ever seen but Wahlberg is amazing in it.

DigitalLemonClock · January 13, 2011, 07:27:00 AM

lol how can you call the sixth sense and unbreakable better than the rest of his dreck

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Mark Wahlberg is Very Convincing