Quote from: PassedOutFillinTheBath;16507562nd nastiest thing:
I was at hattaman's house and I was looking for a coke that I left set somewhere. Well, his house is a fucking stye and there's coke cans everywhere so its not an easy task. I finally found a can that was about half full, so I figured it was mine. I took a big gulp and immediatly discovered I was actually drinking tons of someones tobbaco-spit.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

One time i got home from a party and got some kebab and fries. When i came home i felt like puking but i was to drunk to get to bathroom so i puked all over my bed and floor. Managed to get most of it in the sink though. Anywho next day i wake up in semi digested fries and kebab and i discover that it had clogged up my sink aswell. So i spent the day cleaning my room and declogging a sink full of sick.

Quote from: Chaotic Silly Putty;1650761BAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

I actually have a handful of silly putty right now

What was also great was when me and Grey rode our bikes to school (like 10 years ago) and apparently Grey had stepped in some dogshit before getting on his bike. So after a while his entire pedal was covered and he slipped of, smearing dog poo all over his pants. He didn't notice it at first, not untill he arrived at school and people started to ask what the hell that smell was.

Quote from: PassedOutFillinTheBath;16507562nd nastiest thing:
I was at hattaman's house and I was looking for a coke that I left set somewhere. Well, his house is a fucking stye and there's coke cans everywhere so its not an easy task. I finally found a can that was about half full, so I figured it was mine. I took a big gulp and immediatly discovered I was actually drinking tons of someones tobbaco-spit.

That story is definitely up in the top 5.

Quote from: FishbagClock;1650778That story is definitely up in the top 5.

the worst part about it is while I was gagging and vomiting hatta was all "oh come on you pussy" and took a big swig of it.
kid's fucked up. Everytime he's around and we find vomit on the ground we pay him five bucks to eat a chunk. He's never turned it down. Also he once drank bong water free of charge purely for our entertainment

Quote from: PassedOutFillinTheBath;1650769I actually have a handful of silly putty right now

make funny things with it

Quote from: Chaotic Silly Putty;1650785make funny things with it

earlier today I covered the lenses of my glasses in it, and made a vertical slit down the middle so I could see out, and then I walked around town and did shopping like that, acting like it wasn't there. People were concerned.
Does that count?

Quote from: Navin R. Johnson;1650504a few years ago my dog had terrible diarrhoea and my dad was away so i had to clean it up from the kitchen and hallway floors. this involved hours of soaking up watery shit with tissue paper and sponges on sticks and disinfecting and retching. fortunately, one of my friends was nice enough to help me out

also once i passed out in my own sick and woke up to find my long hair matted with it. lovely

Similar thing for me. I was house-sitting for neighbors, their two huge dogs decided to crap all through the kitchen and living room and run through it. Had to call for help a few hours in, it wouldn't come out of the carpet, there were even spatters on the walls in some places. Then I had to wash the matted shit off the dogs and they kept jumping in the shower.


I've a few other things, the worst would be the early childhood shitting of my footy pajamas. I was hospitalized and a bit drugged at the time, so I didn't wake up until I had rolled about and the stuff had kind of fused about my skin. The crappy nylon zipper was jammed with the shit gristle, so I had to be cut out of them.


Oh, and then there was the time I worked as an Ice cream man and I was about to have a health inspection. My manager was there already, and we found out that the little sink that is supposed to be there for sanitation was clogged with some kind of evil ice cream sludge, it smelled like shit because of all the bacteria that had developed in it from a week of neglect. I tried to flush it out, but that just made the basin pool with murky water. I had no tools and less than a minute before a health inspection would have earned my manager a serious fine and possibly endangered my job, so I put my head in the basin and blew the clog out with my mouth. I ended up keeping that job for years.


Then there was a time when a large mammal died in the chimney, and the flies from its corpse were infesting my house. Long story short, it fell on me and maggots were everywhere.


Went to a local water treatment plant, I was checking out the big sand prefilters. They get clogged at certain times of year, so I went to see what it was that they were removing in big heavy scoops.

Snails.

There were snails caked over a foot thick, all sizes and types, almost all dead. There must have been over a ton of snails. I didn't contact them, but the stench, the sound of a huge scoop of them being dumped onto a pile, and the visual texture made it one of the most surreal and jarring things I've ever experienced.

Quote from: PassedOutFillinTheBath;1650790earlier today I covered the lenses of my glasses in it, and made a vertical slit down the middle so I could see out, and then I walked around town and did shopping like that, acting like it wasn't there. People were concerned.
Does that count?

Yes.

PS yes I know they're horizontal >:C

Quote from: Pencil;1650614One time in year 9 Science class we were dissecting a heart and it smelt like shit. So I cut out an artey that was full of fat and chuncky shit and ate it infront of the teacher. She kicked me out and then I complained about the taste.

Jokes on you, it was probably full of preservatives and latex was probably the chunky stuff, they fill arteries with it to simulate blood.

Quote from: PassedOutFillinTheBath;16507562nd nastiest thing:
  I took a big gulp and immediatly discovered I was actually drinking tons of someones tobbaco-spit.

hahaha.

thats so gross.

A couple of months back I drank a whole bottle of mayo. in a pub, went clubbing about an hour later then puked the contents on a guy opposite me. Red wine mixed with clumpy matter (e.g. potato) is the worst to get out of your hair imo.

I've removed someones glass-eye and poked the socket, that was pretty fun.

Quote from: CadillacClock;1650817what the fuck: this thread

Hey, it's fun.

Quote from: Franklin G. Hamilton;1650820thats gross why would you eat that much mayo

for some reason I read it as mustard the first time and I was thinking hey I'd totally do that

but not mayo, that's just gross

Quote from: Franklin G. Hamilton;1650820thats gross why would you eat that much mayo

One word: drunk.

I thought about filling up an old mayo jar with vanilla pudding, just to make an odd thing to eat in public.

Then I realized that I really didn't like pudding all that much.

Jesus guys all the shit thats happened to me was a mistake or my job but some of you do this to yourselves hahaha

Quote from: ButtplugClock;1650878Jesus guys all the shit thats happened to me was a mistake or my job but some of you do this to yourselves hahaha

Clock Crew: a place for masochists

EDIT: I used to eat mustard on fries. I still do sometimes. It actually isn't bad once you get used to it.

Quote from: Chaotic Silly Putty;1650944Clock Crew: a place for masochists

EDIT: I used to eat mustard on fries. I still do sometimes. It actually isn't bad once you get used to it.

I won't do this unless it's Whataburger mustard. There is something very different and palatable about that mustard, like a good balsamic vinegar only orders of magnitude less classy.