Quote from: FLOUNDERMAN_CLOCK on November 29, 2020, 02:55:38 AM

Quote from: PhantomCatClock on November 29, 2020, 02:36:18 AMshe also told us that her time in america made her fat enough to have to pay some kind of fat tax and i hope that's true

That is genuinely a thing and it's hilarious

wait how does that work

Quote from: DiscoBallClock on November 29, 2020, 04:45:44 PM

Quote from: FLOUNDERMAN_CLOCK on November 29, 2020, 02:55:38 AM

Quote from: PhantomCatClock on November 29, 2020, 02:36:18 AMshe also told us that her time in america made her fat enough to have to pay some kind of fat tax and i hope that's true

That is genuinely a thing and it's hilarious

wait how does that work

The employers had to pay, not the fatsos themselves I gather. Based on waist size. Also apparently it was written out of the law in 2015. Information is a little patchy.

This was way before 2015 though. I guess I've finally gone insane.

OH WRITTEN OUT OF THE LAW yes okay

Also, as an educator, do you have any tips on dealing with the type of person that looks absolutely bewildered the entire class, yet won't ask any questions, even when asked a direct question? "No, it's all clear, thank you." Experience has taught me that no, it's not fucking clear and this type of person generally does a terrible job and needs a lot of hand-holding after the training, at least initially. I don't want to get all snarky or quiz them, that would be counterproductive. One way I can think of is to ask more open-ended questions, "How would you [whatever]?" But the material doesn't really lend itself for that. Also I'm dealing with an overwhelming amount of information I need to deposit into their brainiums and time constraints.

Anyone in the mood for an angsty diatribe and, hopefully, a subsequent discussion, on the subject of love? I'll sit on it for a while.

Quote from: GreyClock on November 29, 2020, 05:18:28 PM
Also, as an educator, do you have any tips on dealing with the type of person that looks absolutely bewildered the entire class, yet won't ask any questions, even when asked a direct question? "No, it's all clear, thank you." Experience has taught me that no, it's not fucking clear and this type of person generally does a terrible job and needs a lot of hand-holding after the training, at least initially. I don't want to get all snarky or quiz them, that would be counterproductive. One way I can think of is to ask more open-ended questions, "How would you [whatever]?" But the material doesn't really lend itself for that. Also I'm dealing with an overwhelming amount of information I need to deposit into their brainiums and time constraints.

Oh yeah, most of my/our students are exactly that type. Some of them you won't be able to reach, that's just a matter of personal disposition for speaking up. I try to make myself approachable; I make no judgements whenever someone has a question, even if a very dumb one, and I always take all questions seriously. That usually puts people a bit at ease.
Something I also do is just ask them directly, whenever I can tell from their faces that it's not getting in there. I sometimes even force it a bit like "should I go back to the beginning?"

There are many ways to bring out student participation; the above method tends to work for shier or more insecure people. I'm still working on getting the lazy ones motivated though. I recently watched an anime called Assassination Classroom - if you're an educator, it's worth a watch. Very wholesome, and I may have bawled my eyes out in the finale

Quote from: GreyClock on November 29, 2020, 05:25:33 PM
Anyone in the mood for an angsty diatribe and, hopefully, a subsequent discussion, on the subject of love? I'll sit on it for a while.

Fuck me up, let's do it

Quote from: GreyClock on November 29, 2020, 05:25:33 PM
Anyone in the mood for an angsty diatribe and, hopefully, a subsequent discussion, on the subject of love? I'll sit on it for a while.

I'm game, we'll see who rusts first

is vincent "van" gogh history's only ear-based artist?

i guess beethoven

Quote from: DiscoBallClock on November 29, 2020, 06:50:00 PMOh yeah, most of my/our students are exactly that type. Some of them you won't be able to reach, that's just a matter of personal disposition for speaking up. I try to make myself approachable; I make no judgements whenever someone has a question, even if a very dumb one, and I always take all questions seriously. That usually puts people a bit at ease.
Something I also do is just ask them directly, whenever I can tell from their faces that it's not getting in there. I sometimes even force it a bit like "should I go back to the beginning?"

There are many ways to bring out student participation; the above method tends to work for shier or more insecure people. I'm still working on getting the lazy ones motivated though. I recently watched an anime called Assassination Classroom - if you're an educator, it's worth a watch. Very wholesome, and I may have bawled my eyes out in the finale

Yeah, I try to make the point several times to please ask ask ask. I'll also ask again after every particularly difficult section. Most people participate, some ask great questions, others ask dumb questions. I answer them all without judgement. So far, every group seems to have one. With this one girl I literally saw her brain shut off after like 5-10 mins of the introduction. After that, on the job, at first she seemed to be searching for her own answers, literally just making stuff up (poorly). Then I had to address that and then and only then did she show up at my desk with a question every three minutes. Now she's finally doing an okay job. That's one story of mild success, the others just don't get their contracts renewed, son.

You actually trying to get me to watch anime?

Quote from: GreyClock on November 30, 2020, 05:05:57 AM

Quote from: DiscoBallClock on November 29, 2020, 06:50:00 PMOh yeah, most of my/our students are exactly that type. Some of them you won't be able to reach, that's just a matter of personal disposition for speaking up. I try to make myself approachable; I make no judgements whenever someone has a question, even if a very dumb one, and I always take all questions seriously. That usually puts people a bit at ease.
Something I also do is just ask them directly, whenever I can tell from their faces that it's not getting in there. I sometimes even force it a bit like "should I go back to the beginning?"

There are many ways to bring out student participation; the above method tends to work for shier or more insecure people. I'm still working on getting the lazy ones motivated though. I recently watched an anime called Assassination Classroom - if you're an educator, it's worth a watch. Very wholesome, and I may have bawled my eyes out in the finale

Yeah, I try to make the point several times to please ask ask ask. I'll also ask again after every particularly difficult section. Most people participate, some ask great questions, others ask dumb questions. I answer them all without judgement. So far, every group seems to have one. With this one girl I literally saw her brain shut off after like 5-10 mins of the introduction. After that, on the job, at first she seemed to be searching for her own answers, literally just making stuff up (poorly). Then I had to address that and then and only then did she show up at my desk with a question every three minutes. Now she's finally doing an okay job. That's one story of mild success, the others just don't get their contracts renewed, son.

You actually trying to get me to watch anime?

Wow, my post was filled with broken English. Way to go, Disco

Yeah, I assume that since you're dealing in a professional (rather than academic) context, laziness or demotivation might be more of a problem for me than they are for you. Since I get last year students,  they've either picked up the habit of speaking up along the way, or they can't be bothered because they're almost done anyway. So that's kind of a pickle.

But yeah, you have the right idea. Make yourself available to answering all questions, no judgements. People don't speak up because they're afraid of looking dumb either to you or to their classmates. Making yourself available to go from the top again is very helpful, as is asking them directly, or asking the class if they can explain [content I just went over]. If they can't answer it, I sometimes ask "should I explain everything again, from the beginning?". You'd be surprised at how many people say yes.

hey it's just a suggestion, nah mean?

Quote from: DiscoBallClock on November 29, 2020, 06:50:13 PMFuck me up, let's do it

Quote from: RobClock on November 29, 2020, 08:13:37 PMI'm game, we'll see who rusts first

Well, the gist was gonna be I FUCKING LOATHE IT. I don't feel as strongly about it now that I've had a good night's sleep. I think it might also be the convergence of certain events and maybe the depression kicking in again around the one week mark of not smoking (like last time). I don't hate love, I guess I hate the fickleness, the (self-)doubt, the anxiety, the fear, all the stuff that comes with it. Stuff that seems to effect me perhaps more than it should, emotionally. I talked about meeting a nice lady before, which was already two months ago apparently. I've been working from home pretty much since. Even if I did go in to the office, our hours (barely) overlap. So at best we share a few words in a chat program, virtually en passant as it were. Most weeks it's like having a pen pal from Calcutta in the days before the internet. A question, a week later an answer and a question in return. It's mostly work stuff now, the answers are getting shorter, the well seems to be drying up. I'm not one of those guys that blames the other party. People have their own feelings, behaviors and motivations for doing things a certain way that I can't begin to decipher. I have a hard enough time barely understanding myself. (One tragic example: she paid me a really great compliment quite a while ago. I was like "ThAnKs!1" (moronic capitalization for effect). No follow up. See you next week.) I accept all that, and my own myriad of shortcomings, as a part of life (and this situation in particular partly as a child of circumstance). If that's the case, just act accordingly you might say. Chill. Don't walk around with a knot in your stomach, overanalyzing every single word. Misinterpreting things only to cause yourself grief. (One time I thought she had indicated she was in a relationship, I was crushed for a week. Which a) get over it, this is barely anything and b) she isn't, and what have you done with that information since? Shut the fuck up.) I say I don't blame the other party, but I can detect traces of resentment towards her for not pursuing me more, even though I've done fuck all myself. On top of that I sometimes feel as if I'm gaslighting myself, I notice some tiny thing about a person and I'm like "What's that about? Something's off about her, steer clear." I think I might have the granddaddy of all commitment issues and a depressive personality to boot. That great compliment I mentioned made me feel like a million bucks, but only for about thirty minutes. After that the doubt kicked back in again (exacerbated by my terrible reaction) and I'm fucked for days. In every other aspect I'm such a cool and collected guy. In the words of Bukowski: "Love is a dog from hell."

DISCLAIMER: Maybe it looks like I wrote that with a straight razor sitting on my desk. I didn't. I'm good at compartmentalizing (maybe only with certain things apparently) and luckily I can laugh at the absurdity of it all. Like that post is actually kinda funny to me.

Quote from: GreyClock on November 30, 2020, 06:51:34 AM

Quote from: DiscoBallClock on November 29, 2020, 06:50:13 PMFuck me up, let's do it

Quote from: RobClock on November 29, 2020, 08:13:37 PMI'm game, we'll see who rusts first

Well, the gist was gonna be I FUCKING LOATHE IT. I don't feel as strongly about it now that I've had a good night's sleep. I think it might also be the convergence of certain events and maybe the depression kicking in again around the one week mark of not smoking (like last time). I don't hate love, I guess I hate the fickleness, the (self-)doubt, the anxiety, the fear, all the stuff that comes with it. Stuff that seems to effect me perhaps more than it should, emotionally. I talked about meeting a nice lady before, which was already two months ago apparently. I've been working from home pretty much since. Even if I did go in to the office, our hours (barely) overlap. So at best we share a few words in a chat program, virtually en passant as it were. Most weeks it's like having a pen pal from Calcutta in the days before the internet. A question, a week later an answer and a question in return. It's mostly work stuff now, the answers are getting shorter, the well seems to be drying up. I'm not one of those guys that blames the other party. People have their own feelings, behaviors and motivations for doing things a certain way that I can't begin to decipher. I have a hard enough time barely understanding myself. (One tragic example: she paid me a really great compliment quite a while ago. I was like "ThAnKs!1" (moronic capitalization for effect). No follow up. See you next week.) I accept all that, and my own myriad of shortcomings, as a part of life (and this situation in particular partly as a child of circumstance). If that's the case, just act accordingly you might say. Chill. Don't walk around with a knot in your stomach, overanalyzing every single word. Misinterpreting things only to cause yourself grief. (One time I thought she had indicated she was in a relationship, I was crushed for a week. Which a) get over it, this is barely anything and b) she isn't, and what have you done with that information since? Shut the fuck up.) I say I don't blame the other party, but I can detect traces of resentment towards her for not pursuing me more, even though I've done fuck all myself. On top of that I sometimes feel as if I'm gaslighting myself, I notice some tiny thing about a person and I'm like "What's that about? Something's off about her, steer clear." I think I might have the granddaddy of all commitment issues and a depressive personality to boot. That great compliment I mentioned made me feel like a million bucks, but only for about thirty minutes. After that the doubt kicked back in again (exacerbated by my terrible reaction) and I'm fucked for days. In every other aspect I'm such a cool and collected guy. In the words of Bukowski: "Love is a dog from hell."

Yeah, I can relate to a lot of those feelings. I don't think you should blame yourself for feeling those things and for overanalyzing it - hell, I do that all the time too. I suppose it also depends on your background, how long it has been since you've been with someone, how were those past relationships, and so on. For me, I've always been rather prone to go on wild imagination rides whenever I'm interested in someone, so if it doesn't happen I get kinda sad too. And I overanalyze it because I'm invested, so I pay a lot of attention to detail. My way of feeling safe is for there to be some predictability, so I look at all the signs in order to find out what I should expect. I think I got rid of these traits with age, but my love life is in a weird, lifeless bog, so

Also, no one tells you that after college it's much harder to meet women. What is this shit. How am I supposed to "get out there", I don't know how to do that (I'm not blaming women for that, it is, as Grey said, part of my own shortcomings)

Quote from: GreyClock on November 30, 2020, 06:51:34 AM

Quote from: DiscoBallClock on November 29, 2020, 06:50:13 PMFuck me up, let's do it

Quote from: RobClock on November 29, 2020, 08:13:37 PMI'm game, we'll see who rusts first

Well, the gist was gonna be I FUCKING LOATHE IT. I don't feel as strongly about it now that I've had a good night's sleep. I think it might also be the convergence of certain events and maybe the depression kicking in again around the one week mark of not smoking (like last time). I don't hate love, I guess I hate the fickleness, the (self-)doubt, the anxiety, the fear, all the stuff that comes with it. Stuff that seems to effect me perhaps more than it should, emotionally. I talked about meeting a nice lady before, which was already two months ago apparently. I've been working from home pretty much since. Even if I did go in to the office, our hours (barely) overlap. So at best we share a few words in a chat program, virtually en passant as it were. Most weeks it's like having a pen pal from Calcutta in the days before the internet. A question, a week later an answer and a question in return. It's mostly work stuff now, the answers are getting shorter, the well seems to be drying up. I'm not one of those guys that blames the other party. People have their own feelings, behaviors and motivations for doing things a certain way that I can't begin to decipher. I have a hard enough time barely understanding myself. (One tragic example: she paid me a really great compliment quite a while ago. I was like "ThAnKs!1" (moronic capitalization for effect). No follow up. See you next week.) I accept all that, and my own myriad of shortcomings, as a part of life (and this situation in particular partly as a child of circumstance). If that's the case, just act accordingly you might say. Chill. Don't walk around with a knot in your stomach, overanalyzing every single word. Misinterpreting things only to cause yourself grief. (One time I thought she had indicated she was in a relationship, I was crushed for a week. Which a) get over it, this is barely anything and b) she isn't, and what have you done with that information since? Shut the fuck up.) I say I don't blame the other party, but I can detect traces of resentment towards her for not pursuing me more, even though I've done fuck all myself. On top of that I sometimes feel as if I'm gaslighting myself, I notice some tiny thing about a person and I'm like "What's that about? Something's off about her, steer clear." I think I might have the granddaddy of all commitment issues and a depressive personality to boot. That great compliment I mentioned made me feel like a million bucks, but only for about thirty minutes. After that the doubt kicked back in again (exacerbated by my terrible reaction) and I'm fucked for days. In every other aspect I'm such a cool and collected guy. In the words of Bukowski: "Love is a dog from hell."

Also, maybe you guys weren't right for each other, even though none of you are at fault. One day there's chemistry and then there's not. But I understand that it may dissappoint you; when things are kinda "brewing" for a while and then it kinda evolves to a big load of nothing it can be a bit frustrating

Quote from: DiscoBallClock on November 30, 2020, 11:07:07 AM

Quote from: GreyClock on November 30, 2020, 06:51:34 AM

Quote from: DiscoBallClock on November 29, 2020, 06:50:13 PMFuck me up, let's do it

Quote from: RobClock on November 29, 2020, 08:13:37 PMI'm game, we'll see who rusts first

Well, the gist was gonna be I FUCKING LOATHE IT. I don't feel as strongly about it now that I've had a good night's sleep. I think it might also be the convergence of certain events and maybe the depression kicking in again around the one week mark of not smoking (like last time). I don't hate love, I guess I hate the fickleness, the (self-)doubt, the anxiety, the fear, all the stuff that comes with it. Stuff that seems to effect me perhaps more than it should, emotionally. I talked about meeting a nice lady before, which was already two months ago apparently. I've been working from home pretty much since. Even if I did go in to the office, our hours (barely) overlap. So at best we share a few words in a chat program, virtually en passant as it were. Most weeks it's like having a pen pal from Calcutta in the days before the internet. A question, a week later an answer and a question in return. It's mostly work stuff now, the answers are getting shorter, the well seems to be drying up. I'm not one of those guys that blames the other party. People have their own feelings, behaviors and motivations for doing things a certain way that I can't begin to decipher. I have a hard enough time barely understanding myself. (One tragic example: she paid me a really great compliment quite a while ago. I was like "ThAnKs!1" (moronic capitalization for effect). No follow up. See you next week.) I accept all that, and my own myriad of shortcomings, as a part of life (and this situation in particular partly as a child of circumstance). If that's the case, just act accordingly you might say. Chill. Don't walk around with a knot in your stomach, overanalyzing every single word. Misinterpreting things only to cause yourself grief. (One time I thought she had indicated she was in a relationship, I was crushed for a week. Which a) get over it, this is barely anything and b) she isn't, and what have you done with that information since? Shut the fuck up.) I say I don't blame the other party, but I can detect traces of resentment towards her for not pursuing me more, even though I've done fuck all myself. On top of that I sometimes feel as if I'm gaslighting myself, I notice some tiny thing about a person and I'm like "What's that about? Something's off about her, steer clear." I think I might have the granddaddy of all commitment issues and a depressive personality to boot. That great compliment I mentioned made me feel like a million bucks, but only for about thirty minutes. After that the doubt kicked back in again (exacerbated by my terrible reaction) and I'm fucked for days. In every other aspect I'm such a cool and collected guy. In the words of Bukowski: "Love is a dog from hell."

Yeah, I can relate to a lot of those feelings. I don't think you should blame yourself for feeling those things and for overanalyzing it - hell, I do that all the time too. I suppose it also depends on your background, how long it has been since you've been with someone, how were those past relationships, and so on. For me, I've always been rather prone to go on wild imagination rides whenever I'm interested in someone, so if it doesn't happen I get kinda sad too. And I overanalyze it because I'm invested, so I pay a lot of attention to detail. My way of feeling safe is for there to be some predictability, so I look at all the signs in order to find out what I should expect. I think I got rid of these traits with age, but my love life is in a weird, lifeless bog, so

Also, no one tells you that after college it's much harder to meet women. What is this shit. How am I supposed to "get out there", I don't know how to do that (I'm not blaming women for that, it is, as Grey said, part of my own shortcomings)

And yeah, about the pickiness...I suppose that's a thing over here too, but I assume that it's because I've been around the block a few times and I'm less prone to fill in the gaps in my imagination in what pertains to the other person

Quote from: DiscoBallClock on November 30, 2020, 12:22:17 PMAlso, maybe you guys weren't right for each other, even though none of you are at fault. One day there's chemistry and then there's not. But I understand that it may dissappoint you; when things are kinda "brewing" for a while and then it kinda evolves to a big load of nothing it can be a bit frustrating

Well, in this particular case, I feel the whole situation we're in is a massive contributing factor. We're barely communicating, I wonder what it would be like to see each other in person. (Not to be overly melodramatic, but the way she turned and looked at me the last time we saw each other will forever be etched on my mind. (Fart.)) Although I doubt it's gonna happen anytime soon, we'll see. It's hard to mitigate those feelings though when they flare up with every little interaction. I'm like a nomad lost in a desert staggering from oasis to oasis. \/ continues below, sorta \/

Quote from: DiscoBallClock on November 30, 2020, 11:07:07 AMYeah, I can relate to a lot of those feelings. I don't think you should blame yourself for feeling those things and for overanalyzing it - hell, I do that all the time too. I suppose it also depends on your background, how long it has been since you've been with someone, how were those past relationships, and so on. For me, I've always been rather prone to go on wild imagination rides whenever I'm interested in someone, so if it doesn't happen I get kinda sad too. And I overanalyze it because I'm invested, so I pay a lot of attention to detail. My way of feeling safe is for there to be some predictability, so I look at all the signs in order to find out what I should expect. I think I got rid of these traits with age, but my love life is in a weird, lifeless bog, so

Also, no one tells you that after college it's much harder to meet women. What is this shit. How am I supposed to "get out there", I don't know how to do that (I'm not blaming women for that, it is, as Grey said, part of my own shortcomings)

That first part is what I thought after reading my first post. If this is the way I feel and apparently deal with stuff like this, just go with it. Accept it as a part of my personality, rather than try and fight it somehow. I don't know, it's complicated stuff. Can you change your emotions? Can you change your (emotional) reaction to the first emotions? Probably not outside of like intensive behavioral therapy or something. Maybe it's just part of being a person, you just deal with it and move on. Out of one person polled... right? We're both the analytical, academic type. I (happily) analyze everything, maybe this is the price? Who knows.

Overall I'd say I'm pretty content with myself, maybe this can be the part I'm not so happy about? Like how I imagine like jugglers or people who wear diapers as a fetish feel about their hobbies.

Quote from: DiscoBallClock on November 30, 2020, 12:23:54 PMAnd yeah, about the pickiness...I suppose that's a thing over here too, but I assume that it's because I've been around the block a few times and I'm less prone to fill in the gaps in my imagination in what pertains to the other person

Huh? Explain.

Quote from: DiscoBallClock on November 30, 2020, 12:22:17 PMAlso, maybe you guys weren't right for each other, even though none of you are at fault. One day there's chemistry and then there's not. But I understand that it may dissappoint you; when things are kinda "brewing" for a while and then it kinda evolves to a big load of nothing it can be a bit frustrating

Yeah, maybe it's (partly) the phase I was in, that initial crush. Normally you'd feel each other out more, ideally while seeing each other in person, that kinda got cut short. So I sorta feel like I'm in limbo.

I remember this one girl in college. I had no idea who she was, we just happened to see each other around campus maybe once every month or so. Neither of us ever said anything, we just looked at each other, maybe smiled nervously. In those moments I always felt completely stunned, I mean if I was walking I'd keep walking, it's just that I felt like a spectator. Afterwards I'd feel like shit for a while, then the feelings would fade again and rinse and repeat. This went on for quite some time until one day she just seemed gone. Never saw her again.