Guys we need to breathe some life into these forums

[Topcatyo]

I think I know what we're missing:

Corporate Jargon

Guys, we need to maximize our credentials and really synergize our properties to increase throughput. I intend to facilitate a discussion where we can tic-tac our visibility vis-a-vis the Newgrounds vertical. I want to touch base with team players about pushing the envelope in a professional manner so we can hammer some nails and get a SWOT analysis. I wanna hit a real home run here and if we don't prioritize our capabilities going forward we'll just be sitting on the bench at the bottom of the totem pole.

I know some of the higher ups will be out-of-pocket for the next few days so until then I want an ETA on the low-hanging fruit. I also think we need to start thinking web 2.0, cloud computing, social networking, a dynamic next-generation framework, globalization, diversity, outside the box, and streamlining mission critical holistic infrastructures.

Now AOB is DBA with EOD in mind. We need the FTE of OD for POC and POC, with PTO for the PP of the POS. R&D gave me an RFP for a ROI which means our IPs need someone to take action RTM by EOD, or ASAP. If we keep DBA BAU, KPI say that TCO will exceed profits (though this is TBC). OK, CC?

I know we started brick-and-mortar, but with Pass the Flash and the 10 Commandments of Health in the Red Zone we need a solution or all this jibber-jabber means nothing towards actualization. I know we can make it pennies to dollars but we just need to circle back and baste the turkey. All we need to do is put our noses to the grindstone and put the pedal to the metal and get them out there.

Are you guys with me? Make it pop!

[AmberArachnidClock]

godDAMMIT it's so obvious!

[pop-tart]

The developmental opportunity in this crew is that we need to be more proactive in building the behaviors that define our culture. Are we greeting every visitor, giving them the VIP treatment, asking them for their support and encouraging them to return? Is our performance management even being validated... are we inspecting what we expect?

[Topcatyo]

We need to think either retroactive or proactice and activate activities that will gravitate users to this place or we will exacerbate what inactivity will situate. If we don't dominate and integrate we will initiate too late. We need to proliferate a magnate or the state of this place will suffer, but we at least want to abate the amount we'd put on their plate.

[buttplug]

It's clear we need to reciprocate the overseas financing thinktank. If we pie chart our inter-departmental assets, it's possible that the Facebook Twittersphere could energize the I Hate Mondays.

[Topcatyo]

It's clear we need to reciprocate the overseas financing thinktank. If we pie chart our inter-departmental assets, it's possible that the Facebook Twittersphere could energize the I Hate Mondays.

Clearly what we need is another Garfield on our hands. Or another Dilbert, although I don't think Dilbert would look quite as charming suction-cupped to our SUVs and mini-vans. Maybe a Frank and Earnest? Or how about a Cathy? Maybe Satchel and Bucky from Get Fuzzy? Or perhaps some cats with hands from Cats With Hands. Or how about that one family from Jump-Start? Or possible Frank from Frank? Or any of the characters with depressing lives and situations from Funky Winkerbean? Maybe Huey and Riley from The Boondocks? Or possibly Mooch or Earl from Mutts?  What about a Jeremy from Zits? Or a Snoopy from Peanuts? Maybe Luann from Luann, or that handicapped dude that may or may not still be in the comic (I'm not sure since I haven't read the funnies section of a newspaper in several years.

However, I think a Topcatyo suction cup would be rather endearing since Topcatyo is also a striped cat, although China might sue us then for making a thinly-veiled knock-off (although I'm sure the Topcatyo design wasn't intended to bear a resemblance to Garfield, though I can't speak for the guy).
actually i totally can

[pop-tart]

We need rhythms in place for associate development. Build a bench so we can backfill our positions if we want any chance of upward mobility.

Do your direct reports have action plans with SMART goals? Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time sensitive? Do they have life balance opportunities? Are they forward thinkers? Strategical planners?

There is a difference between accountability and responsibility. One man may be accountable for the quality of, let's say, a Wendy's Frosty... but every associate is responsible for the satisfaction and service that defines the Wendy's dining experience.

[IvysaurClock]

Pop-tart, you're a real proactive holistic highroller!

Wendy's Frosty Suction Cup Car Hangers! Why didn't we think of that before?

[SoBe Clock]

I love this thread.

[Marlin Clock]

I'm going to need some Flash forms by closing in order to seal the Djornim deal and convince our investors to buyback bondshares to increase our equity in the long term and keep us as a viable and attractive investment in the Newgrounds Stock Exchange. I'm going to need all reports collated and bound with normal letter paper and a twelve point arial black font for that nice classic touch.

[Topcatyo]

[video=youtube;Qid_WGBrQjA]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qid_WGBrQjA[/video]
I couldn't find the full sketch.

[BinaryClock]

I'm going to need some Flash forms by closing in order to seal the Djornim deal and convince our investors to buyback bondshares to increase our equity in the long term and keep us as a viable and attractive investment in the Newgrounds Stock Exchange. I'm going to need all reports collated and bound with normal letter paper and a twelve point arial black font for that nice classic touch.

I'll do that for you once I finish tightening up the graphics on level 3.

[Topcatyo]

Dear Cracked.com,

For the (I dunno, tenth?) tenth time, get out of my brain.

Seriously Cracked, now you're just embarassing yourself.
Writing and directing a movie based on my thread I just made roughly oh shit wait it says they posted this yesterday.

I should stop checking Cracked.com every four days...

[Topcatyo]

To be fair they really deviated from this thread's schtick a little less than a minute in.

[DWARFINATORclock]

Now do an actual SWOT analysis.

[MonsterMunch]

I demand profitability reports every hour! In a bear market there's always going to be NASDAQ trading! THE DOWJONES IS FOR FAGGOTS!

Sandra, Bring Ribs into my office now! Another dead hooker turned up at the annual picnic and I have verbal warnings to issue!

SELL AT Ã,£0.34!

[TelephoneClock]

Don't worry guys, I bought the donuts!

[PowerGloveClock]

makin copiessss

[TelephoneClock]

So, Topcatyo, what's happening?

Yeah, if you could go ahead, and have those, TPS reports for us, by this afternoon, that would be great.