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Adventures in Drinking (this should be good.)

Farted by D20 Clock, November 06, 2014, 01:37:14 PM

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GreyClock

#20
I got this.

I once got blackout drunk and when I got home I pissed on the floor of my dad's bedroom while he was asleep in there. He woke up during thinking there was a leak. (He he.)

I once got blackout drunk on a school trip and when I woke up in my bed in a shared room there was a big mound of puke next to my neck. I had to stuff the puke through the shower drain.

I once got blackout drunk at a barbecue and when I woke up there was a trail of puke running from my bed to the toilet. For some reason I had also rubbed toothpaste on a wall in the connecting hallway.

I once got blackout drunk at a high school graduation party and I apparently punched two classmates, one in the mouth and the other in the stomach. They have ignored me since.

I once got regular drunk at another high school graduation party and this girl pinched my cheek really hard and I gave chase (not in an angry way, but in a ha-ha I'm going to get you kind of way). All of a sudden some woman stepped in front of me and introduced herself as the girl's mother and she and a bunch of people I didn't know pretty much acted like I was about to rape the girl or something. I was asked to leave.

I once got blackout drunk at the weirdest birthday party ever. My friend held it together with some douche, at some douche's house. My friend invited me and one other guy, some douche invited like six or seven fourteen year old girls. We were about eighteen. At one point I puked this red drink all over the floor of the toilet, pretended it wasn't me and apparently threw my friend over a table. They got me to leave and I fell trying to get on my bike, pinning me between it and a low community garden fence.

I once got regular drunk while I was staying at this institute in Rome. I was out of cigarettes and the next day I was scheduled to fly home. It was the middle of the night, but I thought it would be a good idea to go out and try and buy some. I stumbled around empty streets and, for some reason, alleyways. At one point I turned a corner and kicked over the coin cup of these two homeless men camping out on the sidewalk. I apologized profusely but kept walking. I bought beer from a street vendor, who for some reason was still open for business. No cigarettes though. Turned back, came by the two homeless men again, apologized some more, gave them some money and asked where I could buy cigarettes. Nowhere in this neighborhood they said, I would have to take a subway to someplace. I went to the subway station but the trains had stopped running for the night. I finally decided to call it quits, but in order to get back to the institute I had to cross this big, poorly lit park. Obviously I got lost, stumbled around for quite some time, going off the path cutting through bushes like that was going to help. I did find my way back eventually, but I didn't get to smoke until after the plane landed back home in the Netherlands, because a fucking airport in fucking Italy of all places didn't have a smoking area.

I could go on, but ugh.

zl

one time I realized I was speaking louder than necessary

MarshmallowClock

Quote from: Zombie Lincoln;1978342one time I realized I was speaking louder than necessary

The trick is to always talk louder than the music, especially when there's none playing

in fact you should talk exponentially louder the more music isn't playing

MonsterMunch

Quote from: PhantomCatClock;1978339So what you're saying is, thanks to you, there's one more gun in the IRA

The IRA decommissioned all that shit in 2001.

Some south Belfast drug gang probably have it.

AstronautClock

Quote from: Zombie Lincoln;1978342one time I realized I was speaking louder than necessary

this always happens tbh

Topcatyo

One time I got drunk in the dorms (where alcohol is obv. prohibited) with my buddies, and we wanted to get high on some marijuana. One of our buddies was hanging out with a girl he had just met that night, and the two of them decided to go and try and find something.  About a half hour later they came back and they had crack and they almost did crack. I knew better

Got drunk at a coworker's wedding recently and cried a lil (cause it was a very sweet wedding) and that was pretty embarrassing. Later that night I would throw up on my tie and break the tag on the back that you stuff the tail end into.

I've gotten drunk plenty and tried conversing with strangers with my newfound courage and made myself seem like a complete douche on many occasions.

I've definitely a capella'd Tenacious D songs with a group of fellow drunks at a couple of my brother's parties.

D20 Clock

grey clock is winning right now. have you no shame sir?
 :tophat:

AstronautClock

I think i broke my wrist last night drunk play fighting

miracle fruit

i got drunk with this native kid and ended up in jail facing 6 counts of arson

BilliardBall10

Quote from: GreyClock;1978340I got this.

I once got blackout drunk and when I got home I pissed on the floor of my dad's bedroom while he was asleep in there. He woke up during thinking there was a leak. (He he.)
I once got blackout drunk on a school trip and when I woke up in my bed in a shared room there was a big mound of puke next to my neck. I had to stuff the puke through the shower drain.
I once got blackout drunk at a barbecue and when I woke up there was a trail of puke running from my bed to the toilet. For some reason I had also rubbed toothpaste on a wall in the connecting hallway.
I once got blackout drunk at a high school graduation party and I apparently punched two classmates, one in the mouth and the other in the stomach. They have ignored me since.
I once got regular drunk at another high school graduation party and this girl pinched my cheek really hard and I gave chase
I could go on, but ugh.

woah.

1st of all: legendary drinking adventures!

now, to comment in said adventures:

1. if i was your dad, i would pee in your bedroom floor as well when you would be sleeping. for PEE-NGEANCE! (lol)
2. ewww, in the shower drain? i bet the first to take a shower was pissed off as hell.
3. puke+toothpaste in the hallway? artistic! one of my drunk pals draw the entire hotel wall with cake, and shaving cream/foam.
they kicked his ass out for it, but it was funny at the moment.
4. why punching ppl?
5. was the girl laughing when you was chasing her? if yes, she got your joke, and her parents were fools.
if not, then you might've scared her a bit.

IN CONCLUSION:

1. please reduce your drinking, i think you are an awesome guy, and i do not wish to see you damaging your liver/kidneys, it is horrible.
 maybe sticking to beer only?

2. tell me more of your drinking adventures

k -i raise dragons. here we go -click HERE- i mean click the eggs -and the dragons, until they become  adults.

AnkhClock

Quote from: MelloYelloClock;1978309i never drank to the point where i couldnt function so i have no cool stories.

Yeah I get drunk fairly often but I know my limits.



VuBawlsClock

Drunken Sailor story

I got drunk in Singapore and traveled back and forth on the MRT for 3 hours trying to get back to the Bus Stop to base. the worst part was I was trying to keep the other guy with me calm and not try to pick fights with the locals.
Fuck anonfrog

PirateClock

Quote from: GreyClock;1978340I got this.

I once got blackout drunk and when I got home I pissed on the floor of my dad's bedroom while he was asleep in there. He woke up during thinking there was a leak. (He he.)

I once got blackout drunk on a school trip and when I woke up in my bed in a shared room there was a big mound of puke next to my neck. I had to stuff the puke through the shower drain.

I once got blackout drunk at a barbecue and when I woke up there was a trail of puke running from my bed to the toilet. For some reason I had also rubbed toothpaste on a wall in the connecting hallway.

I once got blackout drunk at a high school graduation party and I apparently punched two classmates, one in the mouth and the other in the stomach. They have ignored me since.

I once got regular drunk at another high school graduation party and this girl pinched my cheek really hard and I gave chase (not in an angry way, but in a ha-ha I'm going to get you kind of way). All of a sudden some woman stepped in front of me and introduced herself as the girl's mother and she and a bunch of people I didn't know pretty much acted like I was about to rape the girl or something. I was asked to leave.

I once got blackout drunk at the weirdest birthday party ever. My friend held it together with some douche, at some douche's house. My friend invited me and one other guy, some douche invited like six or seven fourteen year old girls. We were about eighteen. At one point I puked this red drink all over the floor of the toilet, pretended it wasn't me and apparently threw my friend over a table. They got me to leave and I fell trying to get on my bike, pinning me between it and a low community garden fence.

I once got regular drunk while I was staying at this institute in Rome. I was out of cigarettes and the next day I was scheduled to fly home. It was the middle of the night, but I thought it would be a good idea to go out and try and buy some. I stumbled around empty streets and, for some reason, alleyways. At one point I turned a corner and kicked over the coin cup of these two homeless men camping out on the sidewalk. I apologized profusely but kept walking. I bought beer from a street vendor, who for some reason was still open for business. No cigarettes though. Turned back, came by the two homeless men again, apologized some more, gave them some money and asked where I could buy cigarettes. Nowhere in this neighborhood they said, I would have to take a subway to someplace. I went to the subway station but the trains had stopped running for the night. I finally decided to call it quits, but in order to get back to the institute I had to cross this big, poorly lit park. Obviously I got lost, stumbled around for quite some time, going off the path cutting through bushes like that was going to help. I did find my way back eventually, but I didn't get to smoke until after the plane landed back home in the Netherlands, because a fucking airport in fucking Italy of all places didn't have a smoking area.

I could go on, but ugh.

You forgot the time you where supposed to be a 'mentor', got drunk and urged first year, 17 year old, girls to take MDMA. Afterwards you bragged about drinking other peoples beers while they went to the toilett. And completly missed the most obvious signs ever that a girl was in to you, only to realize it later and get mad at this other guy about it for some reason

You also missed half a guns'n'roses concert because you got blackout drunk. You made up for it by spitting at other peoples cars while we were in a traffic jam leaving the parking lot.
_pirate_butchcavities (20:29:15): FUCK CLOCKS _pirate_

miracle fruit

Quote from: PirateClock;1978425Afterwards you bragged about drinking other peoples beers while they went to the toilett.

thats fucking gross

miracle fruit


GreyClock

Quote from: PirateClock;1978425You forgot the time you where supposed to be a 'mentor', got drunk and urged first year, 17 year old, girls to take MDMA. Afterwards you bragged about drinking other peoples beers while they went to the toilett. And completly missed the most obvious signs ever that a girl was in to you, only to realize it later and get mad at this other guy about it for some reason

You also missed half a guns'n'roses concert because you got blackout drunk. You made up for it by spitting at other peoples cars while we were in a traffic jam leaving the parking lot.
Ahahaha yeah. Fake MDMA though, I still don't know what was in that stuff. And that guy deserved it for totally cockblocking me though. Hahaha nah, it was my own fault, ah well. Also we can go tit for tat on that whole episode, because I seem to remember us (but mostly you) kicking the shit out of a bike at the station later that night. (And me breaking my dad's bike by falling on my face later still.)

Most of my stories are pretty old though, some happened almost ten years ago. Although I did get shitfaced at a friend's wedding not too long ago and told loud stories involving anuses and shitting, it was relevant to the topic of discussion but I didn't realize there were some kids running around there until they were staring at me in horror.

I still drink quite a lot, but lately I've been falling asleep more instead of blacking out and doing weird and stupid shit. So yay... progress!

Quote from: olskoo;1978426thats fucking gross
You wanna know what's gross? The cold sores I developed after.

PirateClock

While ago i was in Antwerp with some friends, we were sitting at a table and some girls joined us. My friend started talking about how constipated he was and how bad he wanted to shit. I suggested he'd massage his anus with his finger to stimulate bowl movements. So i van relate to the poop stories at a wedding.

I've been drunk and ended up in weird adventures so many times, all around the world, i could host a travel programm showing people places to get druk. Arrested in Riga, knockout drunk in a park in Madrid, end up in a fight with some hooligans in Stockholm, fell in a pond in Talinn, climbed checkpoint Charly in Berlin and so many more. My drinking buddies still talk to me so i assume i didn't do anything to bad. Blowing it with girls because i was to drunk to care is something i'm far to familiar with.  

One time i had a couple of shots of something called 'naga chilli vodka' and i turned that bars toilett into a horror scene. I puked everywhere except the actual toilett. Afterwards i quickly fled the scene. I had sushi before so i'm sure the smell was lovely.
_pirate_butchcavities (20:29:15): FUCK CLOCKS _pirate_