I found religion.

[ZidaneX]

Approximately 2 weeks ago, I left you guys very abruptly. At the time, I was very stressed with school, work, and my internet life. I needed a break. During this time, I found myself yearning for a missing part of me, yet it couldn't have been the internet I had just left because I had no desire to return.

Coincidentally, I had just finished reading a novel and was looking for something else to read. I began searching through my attic for anything to read because it was late and the library was closed at the time. I stumbled upon my deceased grandfather's personal affects, and I figured that he must have had some nice books I could read. The only book I found was the Bible. I figured that since I'd never read it, why not, at the time I felt that I could read through it and prove it entirely wrong, well thats not what happened. It took a while for it to sink in, but I found that what I was reading made sense, not in a scientific way, but in a way that transcends science.

So why am I telling you guys this story? Well I've come to apologize. Anyone whos known me for longer than 5 minutes knows what kind of person I am, how rude I can be, etc. Well I've turned a new leaf and I must take responsibility for my past in order to continue this new path I'm on. So I am sorry to everyone who has been on the receiving end of my lashings. I don't expect forgiveness, because I probably don't deserve it.

Thanks for reading.

Hey, I can't tell if you're screwing around or not (you're not exactly the easiest person to get a read on), but if it's true, then good for you I guess. I'm actually really sorry I said what I said in the chat the other day... you happened to have caught me at one of my worst days in the past few years. In any case, I only got aggrivated because I've been trying real hard to get the chat occupied again, and what you were doing seemed counter-productive. Come back to the chat though, cause we miss you and stuff and I want to make love to your left ear. Seriously though, you're one of my best internet buddies, and if it's anyone that should apologize it's me.

BTW, you don't have to apologize to any of these people... they're all a bunch of morons.  

[LuigiClock]

Its great to have you back TSOUP, I missed you and cut that forgiveness bullcrap. Fuck everyone okay? should any of you guys whom have been insulted and have taken it to heart and seriously cant get over what someone said over the internet, you should just go listen to some dashboard and attempt suicide with a spoon, because undeniably you are a true failure to life.

This goes for many who never understood the soup.

[ShastaClock]

I love this, just because you don't believe in it doesn't give you the right to call it a fairy tales.

I don't want to start a debate. But tell me how in the fuck Noah's Ark ISN'T a fucking fairy tale? There's no fucking way that happened.

[GodClock]

I don't want to start a debate. But tell me how in the fuck Noah's Ark ISN'T a fucking fairy tale? There's no fucking way that happened.

Silly man, I witnessed it 1st hand!

[RomanClock]

If for real:
Thats awesome !!! Good for you!

If not:
wut eva

[Marlin Clock]

Not true, while the flood that Noah's Ark is attributed to did not cover the whole world, it has been proven that there was a flood of the Black Sea that covered most of the Middle East, which was basically the whole world at the time, as the first civilizations first started there.

Although the 2 of every kind is a lil bit of a stretch, I mean the boat is said to be built 450 feet long, 75 feet wide, and 45 feet high, all the world's animals still wouldn't fit in that thing.

[ShastaClock]

Not true, while the flood that Noah's Ark is attributed to did not cover the whole world, it has been proven that there was a flood of the Black Sea that covered most of the Middle East, which was basically the whole world at the time, as the first civilizations first started there.

Wow, because flood's certainly have NEVER happened. Ever. You have certainly explained everything.


What I'm trying to say is that you can't build a fucking boat that can hold every single animal. Let alone two of every animal. Not to mention the time it takes to find every animal. Let's also add in the time it takes to build a fucking boat that could hold two of every animal.

[GodClock]

you are thinking too logicly, just believe like the book says, sheesh.
p.s. lolz

[Marlin Clock]

Wow, because flood's certainly have NEVER happened. Ever. You have certainly explained everything.


What I'm trying to say is that you can't build a fucking boat that can hold every single animal. Let alone two of every animal. Not to mention the time it takes to find every animal. Let's also add in the time it takes to build a fucking boat that could hold two of every animal.

Unfortunently I edited too late, I was looking in the Bible for the exact length, and I think this flood was much different than any of its day because it was massive, not just your localized floods, but hundreds of square miles flooded.

[BoomStick Clock]

Go fight the turks for god.

[ShastaClock]

Unfortunently I edited too late, I was looking in the Bible for the exact length, and I think this flood was much different than any of its day because it was massive, not just your localized floods, but hundreds of square miles flooded.

I FUCKING GET IT. A FLOOD HAPPENED. ANSWER THE SECOND QUESTION. OH, YOU CAN'T. BECAUSE IT'S NOT FUCKING POSSIBLE.

[GodClock]

Even as I being God, I must say, there is a 99.999% chance the bible probably is fake.

[IvysaurClock]

I FUCKING GET IT. A FLOOD HAPPENED. ANSWER THE SECOND QUESTION. OH, YOU CAN'T. BECAUSE IT'S NOT FUCKING POSSIBLE.

Although the 2 of every kind is a lil bit of a stretch,

So basically his answer is "well, they exaggerated amount of animals, and the severity of the flood... BUT IT STILL PROVES GOD OK"

[ShastaClock]

Even as I being God, I must say, there is a 99.999% chance the bible probably is fake.

Some of the things in there, are possibly true. We actually do have Scientific evidence of Jesus exsisting. Shit, just take whatever Penn and Teller Bullshit episode talked about the Bible. It pretty much gets a bunch of people smarter than me to ruin the shit out of it.

So basically his answer is "well, they exaggerated amount of animals, and the severity of the flood... BUT IT STILL PROVES GOD OK"

When we're basing an entire religion around a book, the book should probably not go and make shit up. Oh, right. The book might not even had mentioned the severity of the flood, because some jackass King didn't like it being in there. Because the bible has certainly NEVER been edited by a King, just so it contained shit he could use to make laws. No, never!

[BoomStick Clock]

Christianity makes the best headlines.

[ChickenClock]

Burn in righteous fire.

Also, welcome back.

[Odo]

I believe this.

Original post before moderator editing: I do not believe this for a second.
Thank you for your patience and understanding in this matter.

[CrowberryClock]

Good for you, all I'm asking is that people like this go "disappear".

http://media.putfile.com/insane_woman_on_fox_news

[Slurpee]

Good for you, all I'm asking is that people like this go "disappear".

http://media.putfile.com/insane_woman_on_fox_news

Fred Phelps and his entire fucking family are a stain. The American government should deport them to a country where their loud mouths would result in their collective execution.

Hannity and Colmes did an injustice by letting that woman speak at all.

[peyoteclock]

turtlesoup is going to walk th earth.