Morgan Quest 64

[SoBe Clock]

Tip the vending machine onto the lobster, no one tells Morgan to fuck off. Afterwards profit on snacks and dead lobster.

While your head is still burning?

[MSPaintClock]

While your head is still burning?

You cannot kill Morgan Freeman.

Or persuade the lobster with your narrator voice that he needs to be eaten.

[Porti Fatti]

Use your jacket to put out the fire and wipe your face.

[Sergeant Major]

Step on the lobster, mash it with your foot, and roast it over the flames.

[Munglai]

You cook the lobster with your head flame but discover that he's some kind of mysterious alien lobster that you can't smash open, so you slip his fragrant corpse into your pocket.

You put out the fire with your asbesdos jacket but unfortunately it leaves the jacket slightly dirty and you can't wear it any more so you stash it somewhere upon your person.

You unplug the vending machine but even without its defense system, the glass is still too mighty to break so you push it over.

[CaramelAppleClock]

you use the lobsters' claws to cut open the wire panel then you play with the wires until something happens

[Alazar]

Oh come on. If you can channel electricity through your body with no ill effects, surely you can punch through glass, no matter how "mighty" it is. Sigh...

Use Iron Barbie's hand as a screwdriver to open the back of the machine. Then get a soda and as many snacks as you can carry. Use the soda to clean your damn face off. Also, see if there's any money in the machine. If so, take it.

[Munglai]

Oh come on. If you can channel electricity through your body with no ill effects, surely you can punch through glass, no matter how "mighty" it is. Sigh...

Use Iron Barbie's hand as a screwdriver to open the back of the machine. Then get a soda and as many snacks as you can carry. Use the soda to clean your damn face off. Also, see if there's any money in the machine. If so, take it.

Morgan Freeman is immortal, not super-strong and the glass is made of super-diamond-crystal.


You use the rock hard crustacean as a makeshift screwdriver and undo the screws at the back of the vending machine.


Mysteriously there seems nothing inside! You can hear quiet "shooby dooby dim dam dom" noises coming from the hole.

[Munglai]

You do a little dance.




"Whassa problem?" says the ghost of Ray Charles, popping out from the magic jazz crystal embedded in your heart.

[CaramelAppleClock]

you tell him you need the snacks in that vending machine and if he can help you

[Alazar]

You tell him there's a funky beat coming from the soda machine and you don't know what it is. Ask him to use his spectral powers to pass right through the solid exterior of the machine and check out what's going on inside. And ask him to grab you a soda while he's in there.

[Joey 56465468]

Ask him for some Heroine.  You don't need it but it will make one hell of a weapon.  If he is reluctant tell him Jamie Fox did a horrible job portraying him.

[Sergeant Major]

you tell ray to use his ultra super extra sensory perceptive abilities to uncover the lock code to the vending machine.

[SoBe Clock]

Ignore Ray charles and tell him that he should kill himself.

Then remind him that he can't kill himself because he is already dead and he should feel bad.

[PossumClock]

tell him that Possum says hi

[MSPaintClock]

Ask him why that if Stevie Wonder is such a super rich musician why is he still blind?

[Munglai]

The ghost of Ray Charles vanishes in a puff of jazz and the universe shudders slightly as if to indicate that your wishes have been granted.

Then a beatnik snake pops out from inside the vending machine and hisses that Ray told him to come out and to give you some heroine and a can of Pepsi Max and also to tell you that Stevie Wonder isn't blind, he sees with his gigantic pez-dispensing mouth.

[PentagramClock]

Ask the Beatnik snake where you are, and whether or not a tree falling in a forest makes a sound if no one is around to hear it.

[BobbyClock]

Steal the snake's hat and wear it for yourself.

[StoopidClock]

tell the snake i said hi, then stop drop and roll