The Official Rules of Rock and Roll?

[ArcticSwirlClock]

Well, what I mean is, and think outside the box here...

...what guidelines should every band follow regarding everything it would normally encounter?

This includes.

Member roster and how it's handled.

Gig handling.

Tour rules.

Splitting women/floozies.

Band Hierarchy.

Songwriting and the process.

Ethics.



Basically, everything that would ever need to be known to make a band successful.

Truth be told, I'm thinking of writing a book and need some brainstorming done on this stuff. It'd be a sort of satirical humorous book playing off of how to run a band successfully, of which there are many ways.


I need brainstorming help, and you guys are famous for that among other things.

I'm already jotting a bunch of crap in my little notebook in pen and ink, with the occasional crazy rock doodle here and there along with Led Zeppelin title style letters for every other paragraph next to little pictures of les pauls and drumsticks.





No wait, you aren't famous for it, you'd just come up with some outrageous shit I'd love to include no matter what.

Also, it'd be an interesting piece of conversation I guesssssssss.

[AbsintheClock]

I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!

[patriotclock]

first rule of rock and roll is do not talk about rock and roll

[BinaryClock]

first rule of rock and roll is do not talk about rock and roll

Heh that joke was so obvious but I still couldn't help but giggle.

But seriously rules?

[SnakeClock]

I remember when you were new and talked about things besides rock and roll. Man, give a kid a guitar, suddenly he's in his own little rock and roll world.

[Heliopios]

Rule 28: Don't buy 300$ sunglasses
Rule 191: Do not have pictures taken of you 'looking cool because that's what people want'.

[buttplug]

Do a lot of cocaine.

[ArcticSwirlClock]

first rule of rock and roll is do not talk about rock and roll

I got the book this week, I dunno, I think I like the movie better.

I remember when you were new and talked about things besides rock and roll. Man, give a kid a guitar, suddenly he's in his own little rock and roll world.

Haha, that's about the gist of it.

Rule 28: Don't buy 300$ sunglasses
Rule 191: Do not have pictures taken of you 'looking cool because that's what people want'.

The glasses were a gift, and I kinda took the pictures myself so I think that's a loophole.

But seriously rules?

Not serious all in your butt rules.

Keeping it to a point of sarcasm, humor and satire is the idea.

Stuff like, bassists aren't necessary, and all equipment must be left to roadies.

Or to be more in depth-

   Lead Guitarist and Rhythm Guitarist are like wingmen when it comes to women, and always end up with twins, or just two really hot friends, while the bassist gets the remains, and most of the time, as the bassist is overweight or built, has enough for all the left over women- while the singer gets married and has a falling out so he can base an album off of his depression following the marriage.

And that album can only have two songs about suicidal thoughts, three about sex and how it felt and how he misses it with her, one song about actual suicide, four about feeling lonely, and one or two about moving on.

Do a lot of cocaine.

This will go in the list on things to handle gigging stress, right next to throwing up in sinks of ritzy motels, and drinking excessively to drown the thought of that overweight fan's sweaty bra encompassing your face with it's H cup terror.

[Heliopios]

The glasses were a gift, and I kinda took the pictures myself so I think that's a loophole.

I was more referring to bluezombie.

[GodClock]

there are no rules, who cares. people can do what they want with music, its not like you need to be great at playing music to be heard anymore.

[WiiClock]

ask bluezombie

[CaramelAppleClock]

I... wanna rock and roll all night..
And party everyday

[Poltergeist]

No matter what you're not cool

[SnakeClock]

Haha, that's about the gist of it.

It's quite annoying, to be honest.

[FLOUNDERMAN_CLOCK]

NUMBER 1: Completely mix out the bass in your albums, and leave the bass unplugged at concerts

NUMBER 2: Be this clown

[Loki Clock]

Lead Guitarist and Rhythm Guitarist are like wingmen when it comes to women, and always end up with twins, or just two really hot friends, while the bassist gets the remains, and most of the time, as the bassist is overweight or built, has enough for all the left over women- while the singer gets married and has a falling out so he can base an album off of his depression following the marriage.

Just for thinking about things like this you shouldn't be allowed to ever use any instrument in public.

[WobbuffetClock]

I just PM'd BlueZombie asking him what the official rules of rock and roll are.
Prepare to be enlightened!

[RobClock]

i always thought that there were no "Rules" to rock and that it was an expression of anarchy and rebellion or some such stuff.

[Maltese]

in order to rock, you need a Foreigner belt

[SnakeClock]

i always thought that there were no "Rules" to rock and that it was an expression of anarchy and rebellion or some such stuff.

Sure, if you want to be a tool about it.