I'm going to review Transformers 2 for you, AS I WATCH IT!

[Kaijuclock]

Thats right ladies and gentlemen, I have nothing to do today. I'm an avid G1 transformers fan, so I have so far avoided this movie like it was a plague, but today I have finally decided to cave in and watch it. Now Gather Close, Because this thread is going to be full of amazement, disappointment, and all around reviewishness! Expect me to roughtly post every 10 minutes of the movies whole 150 of em. It might take longer or shorter depending on conversations, screenshots, and uploading.

Ladies and gentlemen i bring you

REVENGE OF THE FALLEN, it is revenge, not return right?

[FLOUNDERMAN_CLOCK]

RIP
GirClock: 1986-2009

[Kaijuclock]

00:00:19 - Hey look, the dreamworks logo. WAIT, DID I PUT IN SHREK BY MISTAKE?
00:00:53 - its funny to see the name of a toy company in the credits for a major motion picture, makes me expect lots and lots of toy commercials.
00:01:00 - Optimus prime appears to have smoked since we have last heard his voice. Where do robots get cigarettes? Also he compairs humans to transformers, and says we are quite alike. Well id like to see someone turn into a fucking flesh car then.
00:01:48 - Okay, so Micheal Bay made a race of robots that appear to be Necrons and dark eldars fused together, with weird blade things on the side of there mask. This seriously looks like a fucking bionicles character.
00:02:05 - HOLY SHIT IT JUST THREW A GUY!
00:02:13 - it cut to a black screen and made a bunch of shitty noises and now it says transformers, what was so wrong with using the original transforming sound effect?

[Reindeer]

Haha this is gonna be fun

[Kaijuclock]

00:02:21 - No bugles please.
00:02:57 - The ice cream truck is a pedophile, you can tell by his voice, he sounds like the old guy from family guy...you know the one.
00:03:22 - Great the story is starting to sound pretty shitty already, way to go micheal bay, 3 minutes in and you are already pissing me off.
00:04:02 - Is that a fucking snow mobile the just drove out of the back of that truck? ITS FUCKING SHANGHAI CHINA NOT TIBET.
00:04:36 - It literally just took Iron hide 12 seconds to transform, Now dont you think thats a long while? Like it would be strategically sound for you to just stay as a giant robot. Sure you might not suprise em, but your not going to get your ass blown up in the middle of a fight, there are not time outs in epic battles.

[Kaijuclock]

00:04:38 - Never though robots had a sense of smell, thats a new one!

[Kaijuclock]

00:05:06 - if that is devastator im going to be pissed.
00:05:23 - Strike that, even if it isnt, I'm pissed
00:05:48 - WHAT THE FUCK, ARCEE TWINS? Let me pause the movie for this, OKAY FIRST OFF WHAT THE FUCK, ARCEE Was a chick, and there was one. It was a potential love interest for Hot Rod, It makes no sense now, unless Hot Rod is bisexual. Can robots swing both ways? Alright, unpausing.
00:06:09 - apparently the "Arcee twins" have guns that sound like a late 80's arcade game.
00:06;17 - OH COME ON CHINESE GUY EATING THE NOODLES, DONT ACT LIKE YOU DIDN'T NOTICE THE GIANT ROBOT AND 2 MOTORCYCLES THAT JUST DROVE THROUGH YOUR APARTMENT, YOUR LITERALLY LIKE 3 FEET AWAY FROM THE ENTRY POINT!

[Reindeer]

your probably gonna shoot yourself halfway in.

[Kaijuclock]

00:06:32 - okay so the ice cream truck robot hid in an ice cream truck, WHY DIDNT HE JUST BECOME ONE, He has a lighted ice cream cone attatched to his back for gods sake
00:06:35 - false alarm it was knocked off
00:06:58 - side swipe wtf that was cool!
00:07:02 - Well it was till you quoted duke nukem
00:07:10 - seriously what the hell is this thing, also i realized if you freeze frame it at this exact moment, you can see the worst cg fire ever put on film.
00:07:24 - no, no they arent
00:07:32 - apparently Optimus joined the Paratroopers.
00:07:57 - BEAR HUG
00:08:13 - apperently one shot of optimus's cannon is enough to put the one out of commission that everyone has been trying to kill for the past 5 minutes, why not just bring him out to begin with, one shot, on kill. It would have saved on damages.
00:08:43 - Always listen when the black man says something doesnt sound good, seriously think back to every movie a black person has said that in. Now think of how many times he was right. Blacks = Psychic.
00:09:06 - now they had to fag the movie up with people, there for i will post less untill giant robot battles.

[Kaijuclock]

00:09:26 - How cliche, his mother is crying cause he is leaving for college, did i say cliche? i meant edgy!
00:10:24 - HAHAHAHAH DOG SEX
00:10:52 - There is no scene in this movie that can compare to megan foxx slumped over a motor cycle in daisy dukes airbrushing a Coop Devil on the gas tank. I dare you to prove me wrong micheal bay, i dare you.
00:12:13 - lol, figured as much, a peice of that fictonal "AllSpark" fell out of his hoodie.
00:12:45 - whatever that thing is it has a crotch cannon
00:13:00 - more dog sex, how classy
00:14:22 - bumblebee destroyed that yard, poor sam;s dad
00:16:51 - bumblebee is pretty fuckin emo.

[Kaijuclock]

00:17:00 - this movie sucks, im already done with it. I will torture myself from this point later.

[Reindeer]

told you.

[TequilaClock]

Hahahahaha

[Topcatyo]

I watched both Transformers movies in one night not long ago when I was feeling particularly suicidal.
Back-to-back, too.  Dear God, I stared at my wrists for hours afterward, wishing I had sharper knives.

[Kaijuclock]

Well ill probably pick this back up in like, 5 hours or something. When im excruciatingly tired and have nothing to do.

[Biblo]

I really want to do a commentary on that hot turd

[Kaijuclock]

I really want to do a commentary on that hot turd

We could riff it, but i dont think anyone would listen.

[Topcatyo]

we should have some sort of endurance challenge for who can watch it the longest without dieing

I still have yet to see it myself

I watched both Transformers movies in one night not long ago when I was feeling particularly suicidal.
Back-to-back, too.  Dear God, I stared at my wrists for hours afterward, wishing I had sharper knives.

I already win.

Also I imagine riffing on this movie would be great fun.

[TabascoClock]

There's a Rifftrax for it, haven't watched it though.

[Biblo]

we should have some sort of endurance challenge for who can watch it the longest without dieing

I still have yet to see it myself

I've seen the whole thing. There's still blood flowing in my veins but I've certainly died inside