Brief reviews of movies you saw recently

[RobClock]

Men in Black III - 5/10
ehhh, s'alright. Not as good as MiBI but better than MiBII. Continuity is all over the place with this shit, but if you're willing to accept what you're seeing, it's worth seeing.

[MonsterMunch]

Ca$h - 2/10

Sucked.

Insomnia - 6/10

S'aite.

The Avengers - 9.5/10

Safe as fuck!

[d u m p y]

i watched the fly:

basically i you havent seen it you should TOTALLY SEE IT HOLY FUCK LIKE ONE OF THE BEST HORROR MOVIES EVER JEFF GOLDBLUM IS FUCKING AWESOME. really amazing makeup and costume and stuff. great combination of creepy and dramatic. leaves you totally unnerved and uncomfortable.

[FLOUNDERMAN_CLOCK]

i watched the fly:

basically i you havent seen it you should TOTALLY SEE IT HOLY FUCK LIKE ONE OF THE BEST HORROR MOVIES EVER JEFF GOLDBLUM IS FUCKING AWESOME. really amazing makeup and costume and stuff. great combination of creepy and dramatic. leaves you totally unnerved and uncomfortable.

Why were the 80s and late 70s so great for horror? Its uncanny.

[TequilaClock]

Brave - 80/100

It's... good... but it has the strangest/goofiest plot I have seen from Pixar so far.

In the trailers it figured to be "scottish princess goes badass, fights traditional ways and a strange emerging evil".

The movie was

teenager princess hates her mom because she is forcing her to get married and accidentally turns her into a bear. The rest of the movie is to change her back.

I think the message at the end was good and not many movies use it but... it just... wasn't... I don't know... looked more like a Walt Disney Studios film rather than DisneyPixar.

[RobClock]

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter - 8/10
This movie delivers. It revels in it's camp, but takes itself just seriously enough that it's genuinely enjoyable. The action is fantastic, the dialog works, the period settings are seriously believable and atmospheric. It's a fantastic movie, and if you see it you will not be disappointed.

[Asshatclock]

The amazing Spiderman 7/10
Wasn't groundbreaking but it was still better then spiderman 3.

Tim & Eric's billion dollar movie @/10
What was it I just watched?

[SpongeClock SquarePants]

Intouchables [9/10]

I cried manly tears
e.g.

[TelephoneClock]

Krull - BAD
Didn't get to see the whole thing all the way through again this morning but what I remember from the beginning shouldn't affect my review. BULLET POINT TIME:

• The most emotion characters showed was when they were dying. Not showing sadness when OTHER characters died, when THEY THEMSELVES died is when they showed the most emotion.


• The movie was 2:10 only because it took forever to do anything. i"m not bemoaning modern viewer's short attention spans because if it's GOOD then it'll capture our attention. But this movie was filled with so much filler I'm sure more than half the movie was B-roll.


• The main bad guy was literally swamp-thing. Still unsure if this is a good thing or a bad thing but he was defeated by love fire, so that's a point against.


• The only character who could act when he wasn't dying was a side character played by Liam Neeson.


• Went off on lots of strange tangents just to get characters to die.


• Child actor for some reason, good god this is almost as bad as Star Wars ep. 1.


• Special effects made in MSPaint, sound effects taken from an N64 game.


• Swamp-thing was somehow a WORSE acter when he was dying, completely ruining the consistency of the fiction.


• I think they ATTEMPTED to use character tropes, but there were just so many characters that they half-assed every single one.


• Music was awful, again trying too hard to be Star Wars.


• Some of the sets looked pretty cool though, and swamp-thing's guards had neat designs.

If you're the kind of person who enjoys shitty Syfy Original movies "fo rthe ironies" or just B-movies in general, you might like this. But anybody else would just call it what it is:

BAD

[d u m p y]

i watched Moonrise kingdom, which is that new wes anderson movie with like bill murray and bruce willis and shit.

it was nearly a flawless movie. fantastic visuals, writing, music, and acting. everything was fantastic. i only have two criticisms of the whole thing: one part was a little on the pedophilic side which needless to say is rather uncomfortable, and the special effects (though VERY few) were laughably terrible. that might've been on purpose though seeing as how he does SUPAR KEWL IRONIK hipster shit like that.

but yeah. like, if you've seen royal tenenbaums, it was like exactly that good. so like 4/5 stars.

[RobClock]

Donnie Darko - 9/10

Awesome mind fuck movie. Highly recommend.

How do you suck a fuck?

[Slurpee]

once you find out what's actually going on in donnie darko it's the dumbest fucking movie

[patriotclock]

once you find out what's actually going on in donnie darko it's the dumbest fucking movie

donnie darko blows.

diary of a wimpy kid 3
10/10

an instant classic. better than the second one (9/10), but not as good as the original (15/10). a trilogy for the ages

[SnakeClock]

PARANORMAN - 9/10

It was pretty sweet. I thought it would look a lot rougher than Coraline, the previous movie from Laika, but I was proven wrong when the movie really kicked into gear. The witch at the end with electric powers was TOTALLY FREAKIN' AWESOME! and I like the humour in the movie. There even seemed to be homages to Silent Hill in the movie, and any kid's movie that can reference Silent Hill is pretty cool. I'm glad to see Tim Burton doesn't have the market cornered on quirky, creepy horror movies, though I'm still looking forward to Frankenweenie in October.

PREMIUM RUSH - 7/10

This movie makes riding bikes seem pretty cool, but that's about all it does. Some of the performances are enjoyable, like Joseph Gordon-Levitt, the corrupt cop bad guy, and the bike cop that keeps trying to chase Joseph Gordon-Levitt, but the plot inconsistencies really started to bug me after the movie was over. The Chinese lady (also notice how I don't remember any of their names?) couldn't just mail or give the ticket to the nun herself, because, uh... she doesn't trust UPS? This transaction is technically illegal?  I dunno. The attitude many of the bikers have also smack of adrenaline junkies or surfer dudes, which can grow a little tiresome, even in just 80 minutes. It's a cool movie if you can see it on the cheap, though, and just go in expecting totally sweet bike chases.

[VuBawlsClock]

Resident Evil Retribution - 0/10
BARRY DIES BARRY DIES BARRY DIES

[miracle fruit]

control

good movie

how good is sam riley as ian curtis?

well, hes that good

[TequilaClock]

Drive - 89/100

It was a cool movie indeed, but right after I watched it I felt like there was not THAT much to remember from it. It was tense and felt pretty fresh; not to mention it got a great soundtrack, but I feel like it lacked a little something.

Oh, and Bryan Cranston is still a great actor in this one.

[VuBawlsClock]

Last Airbender

4/10
characters are characterless
effects okay, too fucking slow
forced plot reminders (srsly that making that kid tell the story of what happened? forced.)

[d u m p y]

i watched the holy mountain
it's dumb and self indulgent and pretentious and at the same time it's easily one of the best movies i've ever seen and you should watch it too. one of those fun movies to get stoned with your dumb buddies and giggle at how weird it is.

[MonsterMunch]

Fifty Dead Men Walking 5/10

Ben Kingsley was good. Everyone else was average. Not a horrible movie but a bit dull.

Was interested to see it since I have family in Belfast and actually lived there for six months when I was younger. The film tries to be politically neutral but ends up being pro-IRA at times.

On a related note,

Rose McGowan is an ignorant cunt who thinks she knows everything about The Troubles since she's american and has a vagina. I hope someone in the UVF kidnaps and kneecaps her.