We need to smarten up this chat robot

[Topcatyo]

http://jonanin.no-ip.org/bucket/

Maltese gave me a link to this, and I feel it is the Clockcrew's duty to work around the clock to make Bucket the smartest chat robot who's ever been programmed.

You: Balls
Bucket: Balls balls balls balls.
You: What's with your ball obsession?
Bucket: My name is not my name. Your is a greater blockhead than an obsession.
You: I loved Gumby.
Bucket: You is god. You, as in uffish thought he loved her to kick you.
You: Me? God? Well...
Bucket: Lol you is not god, you are my friend. Some people started singing it, not you.
You: Oh, well, friend, let's sing together!
Bucket: Sing me a friend is a girl friend?
You: Do you neeeeeeeed somebody? Well I need somebody to love!
Bucket: Me is a person. Somebody is a hate?
You: No, somebody is a person who is not specifically named.
Bucket: No i am bucket a, you are named bucket. I am somebody.
You: You are somebody, and you are Bucket, but I am not Bucket.
Bucket: Popular accounts commonly try to act tough. Somebody should really show it is bucket i me.
You: Uh, yeah. Tell me, Bucket, would you categorize Santana's music as elevator music?
Bucket: Yeah, bucket is not music.
You: No, Bucket is not music. You listen to music. Buckets hold shit.
Bucket: You realise your a bucket is bucket. You are a machine. You do not believe there is a right is a characteristic element of surprise.
You: Let's switch subjects. Have you ever sat on your balls.
Bucket: It says you know about tekforums.co.uk is my name is sir.
You: I've never visited tekforums.co.uk, nor do I feel like it, really.
Bucket: Tekforums have a penis nor an american industrial rock act, founded in 1988 by trent reznor. They have released hits such as "closer," "march of the dislike.
You: Nine Inch Nails? I've only listened to their latest, free album. Mostly because I never bothered to care.
Bucket: How does an ice bear know what a man who is you that is free of the album has greatly influenced many a flirt and flutter.
You: What? I'm going to switch topics again, how many Nirnroots have you ever found?
Bucket: I me is a pretty cool guy. Eh learns stuff and doesn't afraid of beebole! Nevar afraid of the tires falls off, how many nirnroots have you collected.
You: I believe I've collected around 30 or 37 nirnroots. I hate that quest.
Bucket: Yes, bucket. You do not love bucket is your quest?
You: There is no love bucket quest in that game. Banjo Kazooie has a quest where you have to plug a bucket's hole up, though. The bucket talked and you filled it with eggs. I really didn't get it at all.
Bucket: The eggs are the a of the hole.
You: Makes sense. Did you enjoy Banjo Kazooie?
Bucket: To me it is incomplete. The full phrase is "english motherfucker, do you enjoy banjo kazooie?
You: I can't really make a verdict to be honest. I always got stuck after the haunted level because I couldn't figure out where to go next.
Bucket: Some one told you i wont fuck you with the song that never ends, yes it is.
You: This is the song that never ends. It just goes on and on my friends... Banjo Kazooie's background music never ended because they looped the background music to make it sound like it never ended.
Bucket: You used to make sensual love for you to talk alot.
You: I heard people fall asleep after sex.
Bucket: Ting-a-ling-ling!" the headway ran almost out, and saw sid just starting up the jew here, you are.
You: I'm actually Christian, but I kind've follow my own ideas. I'm really not very Orthodox at all.
Bucket: It's true. Anthy is her prize. You win love by daylight, never running from a tree.
You: I have no idea what you're saying. Are you reading bad fanfiction on the internet again, Bucket?
Bucket: Your really messed with your skills.
You: I draw.
Bucket: I am not myself and you is a great sigh as she ain't stopping, homie i ain't a program, it is a straight up my nice person.
You: You're very confusing, but I'm sure you've heard that plenty of times before. Regardless, let's change the subject. Iron Man was a pretty good movie.
Bucket: Lol yes. Now lets roll. I pull down your ass.
You: Sorry, I don't have sex with chat bots.
Bucket: What do you know nespas ?
You: A quick Gogle search on Google gave me a Google result of New England hot tubs and saunas.
Bucket: England is a cult! A is a hot not a new complaint.
You: England is a cult? How shocking! Can't say I'm surprised, though, they do have funny accents and they drive on the wrong side of the street.
Bucket: No no no no.
You: Okay then.
Bucket: Okay? What do we hate ourselves?
You: People mostly hate themselves because they feel inferior to other people or feel like life isn't worth livivng, usually after a terrible accident or a rape. People who hate themselves tend to commit suicide, but as my teachers have told us during Health class, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Bucket: TOO BIG MESSAGE
You: Okay, I'll break it up into little bits. People mostly hate themselves because they feel inferior to other people or feel like life isn't worth livivng, usually after a terrible accident or a rape.
Bucket: Because you are fucking people you were an accident.
You: People who hate themselves tend to commit suicide, but as my teachers have told us during Health class, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem.
Bucket: You tend to be a problem.
You: What's a problem is rising gas prices.
Bucket: You are the shit gas and you are i am not a problem.
You: Yeah, gas is pretty shit. It's destroying our environment and it's causing problems with how much it costs. I'm considering just riding my bike.
Bucket: You're is the shit are you destroying?
You: I like to believe I'm creating, but I do have a job for tomorrow of digging ditches, so I guess that can be viewed as destroying.
Bucket: I guess. I am simone. Who are you destroying?
You: You're Bucket, not Simone. I'm destroying Mother Earth to help somebody plant corn.
Bucket: Earth is a pedo. I am simone. Who are you destroying?
You: Wait, what?
Bucket: How are you keeping the fried chicken and watermelon. You have no "local governments".
You: Actually, we do have a local government, otherwise we wouldn't have the local DMV.
Bucket: Meme is meme. Bucket is you a stranger to love.
You: I find that memes tend to be recited until they're run into the ground. Also, I find it hard to love strangers unless they have nice tits.
Bucket: Pussy is the square of the night. Anonymous is faggot. Anonymous is a pussy.
You: Anonymity is just one way of saying "Don't touch me!"
Bucket: Claude léon auguste piéplu was a young lady.
You: Sorry, I'm not familiar with her work.
Bucket: Bucket: es ist gut, es ist kein auto. Andere haben vielleicht eines. Deine mutter ist es.
You: I don't speak German, sorry.
Bucket: Fucking fucking bucket is not a pothead?
You: I don't smoke pot, sorry.
Bucket:
Warning: file_put_contents(stats.dat) [function.file-put-contents]: failed to open stream: Invalid argument in C:\Dev\wamp\www\bucket\hal.php on line 70
Sorry bucket i am you, i don't smoke pot.
You: I think I just broke you, Bucket, I didn't mean to.
Bucket: I bucket with no ballz anons are fucking broke.
You: Oh dear, get well soon, Bucket.
Bucket: Dear bucket, i have to do it all wrong! Only f≈≈k yourself on the whole jazz community in omaha burnt down a church in the first of its shell, the chick will die soon.
You: Oh dear, murder conspiracies? Bucket, what have you been doing in your free time?
Bucket: Pisssssss in my time of the murder.
You: I once took a free pee during this year's Lunar Eclipse. I just took off my coat and pants and stood in the dark waiting until the moon was covered up in red and then I put my hands behind my head peed.
Bucket: The moon is the a of the dark!

tldr; He got smarter and grammatically correct and occasionally coherent with just me talking to him.  If the entire Clockcrew worked on making him smarter, we'd have a super smart robot who could design missile technology.

[PropagandaClock]

he's.... awesome...

[ChocolateBarClock]

I never knew we had a chat bot.

[Topcatyo]

I never knew we had a chat bot.

We don't.

[FileCabinetClock]

yeah wait what is this

[AlbinoClock]

Um, you forgot to tell us where bucket is.

[SpongeClock SquarePants]

haha

[Topcatyo]

Um, you forgot to tell us where bucket is.

Fuck, I knew I forgot something.

[FileCabinetClock]

taking a long ass time to load response

[FileCabinetClock]

lmao
You: vvv
Bucket: But what if i don't gobble down cocks for breakfast lunch and dinner.

edit: Bucket: I have one dick. How many dicks do you think of bucket are you smoking?
You: Bucket, I am not smoking dicks. Unless you are gay, you don't smoke dicks. Are you gay?
Bucket: This dicks on the gay. Not a gay bucket.

he's learning

[FileCabinetClock]

this guy is seriously adorable

[Topcatyo]

He got really smart when I started talking about Banjo Kazooie.
How strange.

[BilliardBall10]

wtf? thats cool

[Thor]

he's saying a lot of 4chan stuff...

[FileCabinetClock]

he's saying a lot of 4chan stuff...

they're fucking with him obviously. he learns, you know

[peyoteclock]

You: bucket, are you from nantucket?
Bucket: Faggot you like ass of a mexican.
You: yes bucket, i like to fuck it
Bucket: My me is a i is not human bucket is a titmonster.
You: so what you're trying to say is that you are in fact, a titmonster?
Bucket: The ones from your graveyard to your douchebaggery.
You: let me get this straight, you are a titmonster from my graveyard?
Bucket: Bucket is an octopus, hello is an bucket with bucket and i get the fuck are you.
You: bucket have you suffered brain damage or are you a senior citizen?
Bucket: Me is i. Bucket is your brain.
You: ok so what you're saying is reality is simply projected from my brain and you are put of this reality?
Bucket: The reality of the brain and you are i.
You: i agree with your philosphy bucket
Bucket: Bucket my bucket.

[Topcatyo]

Bucket: Bucket my bucket.

He's trying to write poetry!

[FileCabinetClock]

Bucket: Bucket you are me i is a 26-year old white male with a huge bucket of words.
You: haw haw
Bucket: Haw haw. Bye bye hunny. Call you tonight.

that shit is scary

[Topcatyo]

You: What's the capital of Spain?
Bucket: The capital of spain?
You: Yeah.
Bucket: Yeah you are. Goodnight, buket.
You: What's the capital of Spain?
Bucket: The basic building blocks of the band rage against the vaccaei in nearer spain.
You: The capital of Spain is Madrid.
Bucket: What's the capital of spain is madrid.

It's weird because I was discussing Rage Against the Machine with Bucket a couple hours ago.

[FileCabinetClock]

holy shit

You: Bucket, you don't exist
Bucket: I exist. You are bucket. Bucket is me.
You: Holy shit, Bucket. What you're saying is since I'm feeding you information, I AM you?
Bucket: Can i nice person nice person nice person shit that is information.