gary brolsma tank n spank

[GreyClock]

The other one was shaped like this:

[Slurpee]

you don't have to listen to this song but I like it
[u2]CX-OUeUTc-g[/u2]

it's about ice King from adventure time but not really
it's about being broke and amazing. sure a lot of you guys can relate <3

"my friends are superheroes
none of us have very much money though
they can fly, run fast, read portuguese
none of us have very much money though

they know judo and yoga, photography, politics,
some of them leap over buildings,
writers, magicians, comedians, astronauts,
none of it mattered when niggas was hungry

'that shit's not valuable'
come say it to my face"

[BilliardBall10]

He was going for the intentional irony of answering an accurately worded explanation that could sound angry by giving an accurately worded explanation of how angry he was

wait nooo, i meant bb10!! :O
...curse my refusal to use punctuation or capitalization when i'm sleepy.

too late. now its labeled as an anti-grey clock post forever.
no refunds.

wait nooo i meant bb10

Me too . What I meant was that, I was misinterpreted as being genuine, in his ironic misinterpretation of my semi-ironic anger, ironically of course. Hence hoisted by my own petard, or in BB10's case, retard. Which is a joke that i stole.(from shakespeare)

fixed.

it makes me sad to see that you're calling me a retard.
but it was a good pun of the ''hoisted with your own petard'', i will give you that. :/

[PhantomCatClock]

hey bb10 I saw an informercial on a new iteration of the Shark®©â,,¢Â®Â©â,,¢Â©Â®Â©â,,¢Â® vacuum and she sucked up an entire rack of billiard balls with it INCLUDING the ten ball. Was very excited and thought of you




unless that was you and you're a fetish porn star, now, then ew.

[GreyClock]

No, I stole it from Veep. Which is a good show.

I'm drunk, but you should reread and reread what I said until you get my point, maybe you'll learn a lesson in beautiful indifference, or don't, maybe you're incompatible, but it's up to you. The point was that I don't give a shit, and I'll call you whatever, but it doesn't matter and I don't mean anything by it and as such you shouldn't attach any form of emotion to it, it's just what I, personally, think is funny, within the context of this spam thread, but in reality, the reality of my tight little asshole &c. you utter goat fuc k of a person.

[GreyClock]

I've had four migraines in as many days.

[PhantomCatClock]

Excedrine Migraine Extra Strengthâ,,¢ is the only thing that works for me, and the good news is it's so powerful that the recommended dose is two pills, there's a warning to never take more than two pills in a 24 hour period, and another warning not to drink alcohol 24 hours before or after taking them



which is also the bad news, in your case







And actually looking the Black Mamba 3Star up, nice. Obviously a pretty good 2a yoyo, like a smaller (nice) YoyoFactory Loop* that weighs less (less nice). Is that thing on the back some kinda mechanism like the weird autoresponse in a Yomega Brain? I uh, don't see that being a very good response for looping but I guess that was trendy at the time and it's not like you can't do other styles with a 2a yoyo (I still say the Duncan Freehand looks like a looping yo that's only good for string tricks because it's so dang big but whatever) but the Mamboo probably has starbursts too if it's actually from the 90's (woof) so whatever, it's not like it won't come back when you need it to. ALL IN ALL, THREE STARS.

[Slurpee]

FUCK did I miss shamrock shakes again?

[PhantomCatClock]

It's not really shamrock flavor

[Slurpee]

yeah they're like minty right? it sounds so good but I always miss them

FUCK I forgot to look into the ferris wheel at southland, too. they're probably gone by now, shit
for some reason I've been super hyped to go to a shitty carnival, but it's really hard to know when they're coming because they're carnies and they don't want to be found

[PhantomCatClock]

I had someone ask if I wanted to go out drinking after work, and normally I say no but IT WAS STREET [sic] PATRICK'S DAY and I had no corned beef waiting for me at home, so I said yes. Was supposed to be off at nine, but got asked to stay later. WAS gonna be off at ten but then a driver came and our night manager called in (definitely not just because it was St. Patrick's Day, I'm certain) so I stayed until 11:15, when staying any longer would be a lunch violation.

I get to Chipotle's for some HARD-EARNED GREEN BEERS and they were closed


SO I GO BACK TO WORK, get some beer and chicharrones. Not gonna waste the night, even if it's just drinking alone. Whoops, I want to do this ALL THE WAY, MAKE UP FOR CHIPOTLE'S CLOSING AT ELEVEN so I left my loot in the break room, went to get some green food color for the beers. We were out of every kind of food coloring we carry. Fuck. Went to the bakery and got the biggest, expensivest chocolate cheesecake we had ($14 I'm rich), got that and went home with my beer and porkskins.

at home THINGS TURNED AROUND. I had half a bag of beef "jerky" and some M&Ms waiting for me. Started watching Always Sunny and ate everything, three slices of cheesecake. I turned on That 70's Show and sat down, ready to A-DRINKUH and











i was so fucking full i couldn't do any beer







and I'd already opened one tall can so I just had to pour it out




all in all, that was the worst St. Patrick's Day all year. Thank goodness there's another one in May.

[GreyClock]

No, I stole it from Veep. Which is a good show.

I'm drunk, but you should reread and reread what I said until you get my point, maybe you'll learn a lesson in beautiful indifference, or don't, maybe you're incompatible, but it's up to you. The point was that I don't give a shit, and I'll call you whatever, but it doesn't matter and I don't mean anything by it and as such you shouldn't attach any form of emotion to it, it's just what I, personally, think is funny, within the context of this spam thread, but in reality, the reality of my tight little asshole &c. you utter goat fuc k of a person.

Ha ha what does this even mean. I'm really glad that I'm not on facebook.

Excedrine Migraine Extra Strengthâ,,¢ is the only thing that works for me, and the good news is it's so powerful that the recommended dose is two pills, there's a warning to never take more than two pills in a 24 hour period, and another warning not to drink alcohol 24 hours before or after taking them



which is also the bad news, in your case

I'll look into it.

And actually looking the Black Mamba 3Star up, nice. Obviously a pretty good 2a yoyo, like a smaller (nice) YoyoFactory Loop* that weighs less (less nice). Is that thing on the back some kinda mechanism like the weird autoresponse in a Yomega Brain? I uh, don't see that being a very good response for looping but I guess that was trendy at the time and it's not like you can't do other styles with a 2a yoyo (I still say the Duncan Freehand looks like a looping yo that's only good for string tricks because it's so dang big but whatever) but the Mamboo probably has starbursts too if it's actually from the 90's (woof) so whatever, it's not like it won't come back when you need it to. ALL IN ALL, THREE STARS.

I never did figure out how it actually worked. You would screw the axle inside a gear that had these coils around it for some reason. I don't know if it had any functionality or if it was just "buy this yoyo because of the 73CHN0108135". What's the other one?

[PhantomCatClock]

I never did figure out how it actually worked. You would screw the axle inside a gear that had these coils around it for some reason. I don't know if it had any functionality or if it was just "buy this yoyo because of the 73CHN0108135". What's the other one?

The Yomega Brain? It's uh




it's certainly a yoyo.












It's for the honest to goodness 100% beginner. Like, not like a plastic 1a yoyo with starbursts, I mean someone who can't throw right or get it to come back up. It has these brakes that actually grab the axle to stop it from sleeping, and they're on springs just so that if it's spinning fast, they won't engage, but if it slows down enough, they'll pull back into place and make the yoyo just come back up on its own. I guess it'd be a good tool for learning how to throw? But like ANYTHING beyond that, you're going to smack it into your face/knuckles because it'll come back when the spin dies down. The package on the Mamba 3Star said it had something activated by centrifugal force, so I thought it was that (definitely looks different, though. With the Brain's dohickies, it's obvious what they do just from looking at it



but the Mamba looks like it has a flux capacitor behind it. It's probably not an automatic response system like that, since you generally want 2a yoyos to come back pretty easily anyway, and wouldn't really be practicing anything involving sleeping on them aside from flinging them around)



then again, the BRAIN looks like a looping yoyo too, dunnit. Still, the Brain is just a toy [snooty scoff].

Also, if a kid takes a Brain apart, you're never going to get it to work again until their cool loser yoyo uncle comes over to visit :flex:. That's a major feature.

[PhantomCatClock]

I did also mention the Duncan Freehand which, while I'm 97% certain you weren't asking about, I will do a Slurpeepost on because I like the history of it if not the actual yoyo itself. Feel free to tl;dr because the only reason I'm typing this post is because I'm sleepy and need to go to bed right now for tomorrow anyway but haha fuck that

Y'SEE, once upon a time there was supreme yoyo overlord Steve Brown. Guy was fucking cool, and rocked the west coast local/worldwide commercial scene in the 90's. By today's standards, the tricks he invented are like the first ones you need to learn to do any 5a, but uh

not until after Steve Brown invented 5a.


So there are basically five (competitive) styles of play. 1aâ€"string tricks, 2aâ€"two handed (usually) looping tricks, 3aâ€"two handed (always) string tricks, 4aâ€"offstring yoyoing, and 5aâ€""freehand" (counterweighted) yoyoing.

This fucker invented 20% of all playstyles.


I mean, there is 8a, but that's really more of a pun than an actual unique style, since it's 4a with two yos, and it's technically considered 4a (in fact, at the 2016 world championships, the winning routine was (1, fucking amazing and 2,) partially 8a. 9a is counterweighted 4a but that's not common at all and as far as I know only yoyo superhero Takeshi Matsuura has ever done it competitively



anyway, back to Steve Brown. This guy was so cool he had an eight8eight skin based on him, with his tattoos all over the yoyo. They told kids tattoos were okay because this guy was so cool.

In 2000? 2001? 1999? he shows up to the west coast championships, says "hey dipshits, I made a new style and try to compete with this" and did the first ever 5a run ever. Super basic tricks, but it was nuts and nobody had seen it before, gets first place. The next year he's been promoted to Supreme Yoyo Designer Overlord at Duncan (yes, the Duncan) and has a sweet patent on the counterweighted Duncan Freehand, which is still technically the only 5a yoyo that can be sold in America due to the patent (other, considerably better ones are still sold, but that's another story and they're just "technically" okay to sell in their own ways, if you get what I mean) and shows up with real 5a tricks, wins first place again.


The next year he did a blindfolded 5a routine, won first place, but was asked (told) to stop competing by officials.



Anyway, Duncan still makes the Freehand (sort of) and I actually have a sweet counterweight that is a little plastic model of Steve Brown's face (cartoonized) that I'm pretty sure was from Duncan. Understand, he's not even sort of good by today's competitive standards, he's just the guy we all have a boner for. Every community has one.



Speaking of boners for people, remember I mentioned yoyoing superhero Takeshi Matsuura? Fucker fucking won the World Championships in the 5a division from like 2009-2014 in a row, not to mention a couple of 4a wins (he didn't always compete in 4a) and he obviously made his own tricks, so nobody had a chance at beating him. BUT WAIT WHAT'S THIS? 2015 AMERICA TAKES THE GOLD WOO Jake Elliot beat that fucker with a routine that, to be honest, wasn't nearly as good as Matsuura's and he only won by 0.25 points due to "technical skill" but uh whatever someone with a more western name than John Smith won and that's alright by me

[u2]rg17FtXw8Q0[/u2]




Man, and in 2016 he started his run with a counterweight snag and by the end of the performance had only dropped the fucking yoyo and still got second place to Takeshi. How fucking good do you have to be to drop your yoyo and still get second? Imagine if he HADN'T DROPPED IT.

[u2]ZHUdsPipzZE[/u2]


Hmm. That run looks a little familiar. And I think that's the YoyoFactory Canon when in 2015 he used an Atlas (which is like three times bigger). I wonder if he'd used an Atlas again if he would've won even with his old tricks. Man, that loser Takeshi must be shitting his sumo diaper right about now. He even had a much worse snag with his counterweight at the beginning of his run.

[u2]TJnCdvptqh0[/u2]


I... oh. (There's a much better video of this run somewhere, but cba to find it right meow) yeah so Matsuura didn't win because Elliot dropped his yoyo. He won because he's that goddamned much better and we should be ashamed of our once-proud nation because of it. Jake was using a special counterweight that the company he works for developed with a bearing inside so it can spin freely, nylon gloves to reduce handgrind friction to nearly zero, and what's probably Kitty string, meanwhile Matsuura creamed him with a d6 for a counterweight and the thinnest shittiest string in the world.










and that's what I think of every time I think of the Duncan Freehand, because none of that would've happened if some guy didn't invent that to cheat at a tournament.






oh, wait, were you asking actually aboutâ€"

[GreyClock]

I was asking about this one:

Maybe it's just "a yoyo" I don't know.

[PhantomCatClock]

oh


yeah, it sucks sorry. I am familiar with them

[PhantomCatClock]

The more I look at that the more I feel like I have actually seen that exact yoyo except maybe in red. I could just be crazy, though. If it is the one I'm thinking of, my only experience with it is my nephew (or cousin or whatever. Jewish families, am i right) had one went to crazy juggling unicycle yoyo uncle's house so he decided to bring it. It had like kite string or some shit so I took that out (and actually had to cut it instead of untwirling it because it was just tied on) and the actual axle didn't have a bearing, it was just a dowel for an axle that the string stuck on. I put some crazy multicolored string I had at the time on it and threw it once, managed to do a plastic whip that made it immediately stop spinning, and died on the inside. Nephew thought that was the coolest thing though and was glad to have some good string for it. I feel like it got left here shortly after that and floated around the toybox/floor for like a year before being taken back/thrown away.





and now to not talk about yoyos to the clock crew for another three years.

[zl]

[PhantomCatClock]

oh shit, is that a YoYoJam Classic Pro, a YoyoFactory Edge/Horizon?


nah but anyone who draws me is the best in my book
{{{ZL}}}

[PhantomCatClock]

oh and apparently I don't know anything because Jake Elliot used "YoyoTricks' High-End String" and not Kitty String haha pay no attention to me I have none of the facts