Omegle - The Internet At It

[PowerGloveClock]

Stranger: don't you call me sexy D;<

You: hello, I'm with the Omegle service providers and we've been recieving some complaints of you sexually harrassing our users that are minors

Your conversational partner has disconnected.



You: hello, I'm with the Omegle service providers and we've been recieving some complaints of you sexually harrassing our users that are minors

Stranger: I haven't

Stranger: unless talking in German is. o.o

Stranger: but All I've said is "how are you"

You: I have a whole list of conversations here sir that match with your ip

Stranger: .......I've been to one convo

You: if this doesn't stop were going to have to ip ban you from the site and report you to the proper authorities

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[TapedeckClock]

Stranger: whats the last 4 digits of your social security number

You: 0541

Stranger: WRONG

Stranger: how can you not even know your ssn

You: IM SORRY IM SORRY

Stranger: here let me try again with a different question

Stranger: what are the first 3 digits of your ssn

You: 673

You: 4

Stranger: ok good

Stranger: no

Stranger: thats 4

Stranger: how can you not even konw how to count

You: idk

You: IM SORRY

You: PLEASE STOP]

Stranger: these excuses

Stranger: are insufficient

You: I CANT STAND THIS PRESSURE

Stranger: im going to have to speak to your family

Stranger: what is your mothers maiden name?

You: kwasneschki

Stranger: ok

Stranger: i'll give you one last chance

Stranger: what are the middle 2 digits of your SSN

You: 48

Stranger: good job

Stranger: what is the name of your first pet?

Stranger: just curious

You: stoley

Stranger: ok

Stranger: what bank do you use

Stranger: just curious

Stranger: i usually ask these questions as small talk

You: I DONT WANT A QUESION TO REMEMBER MY PASSWORD

Stranger: is your password just "password"

You: no

You: im sorry

Stranger: thats alright

Stranger: can you get off your computer for a sec

Stranger: i need to borrow it

You: yeah sure

Stranger: ok

Stranger: k brb loggin on

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

this is really confusing.

[PowerGloveClock]

You: hi

Stranger: hey

Stranger: m f?

You: f

Stranger: cool

Stranger: got picks to prove it

You: hang on i have to find them

Stranger: k

You: http://www.hahakiri.com/wp-content/uploads/_HotChick.jpg

You: what do you think?

[TapedeckClock]

Stranger: Hello!

You: hi

Stranger: Tell me, what don't you like about yourself?

You: my nose

Stranger: What's wrong with it

You: its a little crooked so people call me a jew at school

Stranger: That's not nice of them

Stranger: I have my problems as well

You: really?

Stranger: Oh yeah

Stranger: I hate the way I look

You: its whats on the inside that conts

Stranger: Yeah, in the inside of me is someone with a shattered self esteem and negativity

Stranger: i'm screwed no matter what I do

You: listen

You: im sure your a beautiful independent guy or woman on the inside and that you should feel blessed with all the passion you have to give.

Stranger: You know, I try to think positive

Stranger: meh

Stranger: nevermind, nopoint

Stranger: no point*

Stranger: i'm a guy btw

You: really?

Stranger: yep

You: are you gay or just insecure?

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Topcatyo]

Not a troll, but still hilarious.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: hello
You: hi
Stranger: where ya from
You: i'm from pennsylvania
Stranger: cool
Stranger: you a guy
You: yes
Stranger: i love porn
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Not a troll but this was a fun conversation.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: I've decided... I hate my penis ¬_¬
You: Well we can't be having that
Stranger: Haha
You: What don't you like about it?
You: is the shape off?
You: is the length unsatisfactory?
Stranger: No no
Stranger: Its just annoying
You: does your smegma have quite the miasma?
You: I see
You: So you're just tired of it dangling there
You: getting in the way
You: showing girls you meet that you are, in fact, excited to see them
Stranger: Sooort of
You: I see
Stranger: Family BBQ today right? was sat around the table with my family..
Stranger: WHAM#
Stranger: random erection
Stranger: Was really annoying
You: Oh, I see
You: you're in the awkard years of those teens
You: "No Grandma, I swear it just happened."
Stranger: Lol!
You: but Grandma can never speak to you again
You: We've all been there, fear not
You: Soon enough you will be able to dominate your erection
You: You will tell it when it's happy time.
Stranger: Haha
Stranger: Wow, wise words :P
Stranger: How old are you? Lol
You: 18. As a legal adult I am legally certified to know everything
You: HAHA, world, I will crush thee!
Stranger: Haha XD
Stranger: Guy/girl?
You: I seem to know a lot about penises, take a wild gues.
You: guess*.
Stranger: Well
Stranger: You could be a prostitute
You: I like your style.
Stranger: So which is it?
Stranger: Lol
You: Male
Stranger: haha, okay
Stranger: Where abouts are you from?
You: I'm from Pennsylvania
You: Yourself?
Stranger: England
You: Haha, cool
Stranger: Indeedy
Stranger: Its also 6:50AM and i've not been to bed
Stranger: Lol
Stranger: So I think I should
You: haha
Stranger: Thanks for the penis help :P Lol
You: Haha, no problem. You're pretty cool.
Stranger: I try ^_^
Stranger: Whats your name btw?
You: Ian
Stranger: Nice to meet you Ian
You: Nice meeting you, too
Stranger: Andrew, btw
Stranger: Haha
Stranger: Anyways
You: Ah, nice meeting you
Stranger: You too
Stranger: See ya
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[TapedeckClock]

You: hey im gonna tell you flat out

Stranger: K

Stranger: GO FOR IT

Stranger: GIMME ALL YOU GOT

Stranger: IM READY

Stranger: LETS DO THIS

You: im trying to troll you to impress my forum friends

You: will you pretend to be trolled

Stranger: YOU SOUND LIKE A TOTAL NEWFAG FAGGOT

Stranger: ALSO THE GAME

You: thanks your doing good

Stranger: BET YOU CANT EVEN TRIFORCE YOU FUCKING IDIOT. I BET YUR A FUCKING TRIPFAG MOTHER FUCKING ¥¥¥¥¥¥

Stranger: ARE YOU A ¥¥¥¥¥¥ OR DOES THIS FAGGOTRY JUST COME NATURAL?

Stranger: FUCK YER SHIT /b/

Stranger: CANCER

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Topcatyo]

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: hi
You: hi
Stranger: wanna talk ?
You: sure
Stranger: about what?
You: i'm a bad conversationalist, you start
Stranger: me too
You: well then
You: let's arm wrestle
You: Okay
You: 3
You: 1
You: whoops
You: 3
You: 2
You: 1
You: GO
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[VCRClock]

You: hey im gonna tell you flat out

In which Stranger inadvertently trolls himself.

[Topcatyo]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: ☻
You: @
Stranger: ☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻
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☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻
☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻
You: holy hell!
Stranger: INFECTED
You: it's an army!
Stranger: INFECTED
Stranger: INFECTED
Stranger: INFECTED
You: OH NOES
You: OH MY
Stranger: INFECTED
You: OH GOSH
Stranger: ☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻☻
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Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Topcatyo]

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: Hi
You: hi
You: What do you think the Scat Man means?
Stranger: leave
You: okay
You have disconnected.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
[insert long moments of silence]
You: don't worry, mimes are allowed to type on the internet
You: it's not technically talking
Stranger: wut
You: There you go, you're getting the hang of it.
You: Us mimes need to stick together
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Trolls trolling trolls

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: HAY
You: is for horses
Stranger: i like horses
You: me too
You: especially when they're inside me
You: it's the best
Stranger: i like it on top..
You: me too
You: get more leverage that way
Stranger: this cantwork if we both like the top
Stranger: my way or no way
You: hmm
You: okay, fine
You: but just for you
Stranger: aw thanks baby. so this means were going out?
You: I guess so
Stranger: sooooooo this is our date thingy huh?
Stranger: hmmm
You: I guesss
You: a nice horse ride
Stranger: dont cheat on me
Stranger: with some hay
You: i promise, never D:
Stranger: GOOOOD. can we breeak up now to have break up sex..
You: it's the best kind
You: okay, um, YOU AND ME, WE'RE THROUGH
You: HERE IS A HORSE
Stranger: baby whyyyy! i'll just have to deal
Stranger: me & the horse will get shit poppin
You: Okay. I mean, since we're broken up, I'm, like, totally indifferent
Stranger: i understand...fuck buddies?
You: sure
Stranger: can i face fuck you tho? it'll be fun!
You: Well... sure, sounds fun
Stranger: open to everyting, i likeeeeeeee
Stranger: im gonna find my playboy mag. bye.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I'm done for today, I've barely gotten anything.

[PowerGloveClock]

Stranger: Hey, I'm a guy in a naughty mood looking for a girl with a cam. Interested?

You: yes

Stranger: asl?

You: 19/f/london

Stranger: i'm 17 m usa

Stranger: do you have a camera?

You: yeah heres a pic http://www.hahakiri.com/wp-content/uploads/_HotChick.jpg

Your conversational partner has disconnected.



also i tried copy pasting an acsii art swastika but it got all messed up help me slurpeeclock

[Sheep]

Stranger: THESE EAR BUDS ARE TOO BIG

You: OH SHIT REALLY!?!?!?!?!?

Stranger: I feel as though I'm being ear fucked by a black man

You: MY SHEEP ARE FUCKING EACH OTHER

You: AND THEY'RE ALL MEN

Stranger: Sodomites.

Stranger: They're all going to hell when they die

You: Nah, Sheep are saved no matter what they do.

Stranger: Really?

You: Yeah.

You: I'm a Sheep myself.

Stranger: Not gay I hope

You: VERY GAY

Stranger: SODOMITE!

[Slurpee]

A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: NIGGAAAA
You: WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA
You: SAY THAT AGAIN?
Stranger: NIGGAAAA!
You: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN
Stranger: DAMN NIGGA!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[PowerGloveClock]

You: hi

Stranger: asl  plz?

You: 90/f/florida

Stranger: wow

Stranger: i glad to see u

You: i'm looking for a handsome young man to have e-relations with

Stranger: how r u  

You: horny

Stranger: i am

Stranger: ye

Stranger: bout u r 90

Stranger: can i see ur pic?

You: sure let me see if i have it saved on this computer or if its on my camera

You: if not i'll have to have one of my bastard grandchildren load it for me

You: ok here we go http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3040/3033893024_53a49cae59.jpg

Stranger: ok

You: so do you want a piece of this hot young action?

Stranger: what do u do?

You: i spend my days looking for hot young men to have cybersex with but in my employed years i was a good old fashioned street walker

Stranger: u were puty in ur age

You: thank you dear

You: now are we gonna get this show on the road or can i go fall asleep to murder she wrote

Stranger: give ur yung pic

You: i'm sorry but all my young pictures were taken on old fashioned film and i don't have a scanner

Stranger: u want to have sex?

You: yes

Stranger: i like too

Stranger: but we r far from to gether

You: we have the internet honey its like we're right next to each other

Stranger: how could we have sex?

You: over the internet

You: maybe you should use fucking google to learn what cybersex is

Stranger: u have sexy pic?

You: jesus h christ i already sent you a pic

Stranger: can u suck?

You: the workers at my nursing home are only giving me a few more minutes on the internet and i'm not going cold another night now hurry up

Stranger: can i see ur the workers at  home

You: what

You: speak english

Stranger: ok

You: you one of them colored folk?

Stranger: what do u do

Stranger: have u a child/

You: i'm retired how many times do i have to tell you

You: to have grandchildren i must have had children you fucking moron

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Bigglesnoots]

also i tried copy pasting an acsii art swastika but it got all messed up help me slurpeeclock

press ctrl + enter once before pasting it into the convo box

[WrenchClock]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: No
Stranger: ?
You: no
Stranger: yes
You: no
Stranger: hsfhugd
You: ¥¥¥¥¥¥¥
Stranger: huh
You: f
Stranger: Age
You: fifty too
Stranger: no your waaaay younger cause you spelled it wrong
You: filthy tooth
You: did i spell it right now
Stranger: Fifty-Two
get it together
You: fithtey tew?
You: fifth tea stew?
You: phiphtie jew?
Stranger: Bitch:)
You: asl
Stranger: 23/?/la
You: 53/herm/smd

[Dethklok]

is there anyone that actually reads all of these conversations besides the posters

[DiscoBallClock]

is there anyone that actually reads all of these conversations besides the posters

I read some of them, wanna fight about it?

[Thunderbolt]

I do some times

[RocketFetus]

Stranger: I AM A PROUD NAZI

You: The Game.

Stranger: THE HITLER

You: You still lost, buddy.

Stranger: SEE WHUT A DID THERE

Stranger: SIEG HEIL

Stranger: 14/88

Stranger: ARE YOU A NIGNOG?

You: I am a jew.

Stranger: LOVELY

Stranger: MY GRANDFATHER WAS IN THE SCHUTZSTAFFEL

You: I am a jewish old black woman.

You: how does that make you feel

Stranger: LIKE DANCIN'