Omegle - The Internet At It

[Slurpee]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: hi
Stranger: asl
You: A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: FBI
If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
You: A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: FBI
If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
Stranger: FBI
If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
You: A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: FBI
If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
You: A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: FBI
If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
You: A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: FBI
If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
Stranger: FBI
If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
Stranger: FBI
If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
Stranger: FBI
If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
You: A word of advice: "FBI" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
Stranger: If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
You: A word of advice: "FBI" is boring. Please ignore it.
Stranger: If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
If the above message says you have been reported to the FBI, it is not legitimate. Please ignore it.
You: If the above message says you have been reported to the ASL, it is not legitimate. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: Stranger is typing...
Stranger: You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hi!
Stranger: hi!
You: Well
You: So long.
You have disconnected.

sometimes you meet somebody on omegle who's exactly as awesome as they need to be

[Odo]

somebody i was trying to troll got me to talk about literature and various interpretations of the prophecies of nostrodamus

what the fuck

[mauserclock]

i met a pretty awesome guy one time

[TwistClock]

I made someone really depressed once, it was hilarious

[PowerGloveClock]

i had a jam session with a neo nazi and we rapped "like a boss"

[Faygo]

Connecting to server...

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!

Stranger: m/f?\

You: The clock crew owns you.

You: The clock crew owns you.

You: The clock crew owns you.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Faygo]

Connecting to server...

Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!

Stranger: hi

You: The clock crew owns you.

Stranger: no i owns the clock crew

Stranger: =)

You: The clock crew owns you.

Stranger: onley ¥¥¥¥¥¥ in clock crew

You: The clock crew owns you.

Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Aussie]

do you know why this thread is 18 pages long and not goldmined?
 
i'll tell you why! it's because these conversations aren't actually very funny.

Ironically enough, one of the funniest conversations in the thread was made right after you posted.
 
Props to Truncheon, whenever in doubt, quote American Pie.

[Faygo]

http://pastebin.com/f779582b9

[Silly Putty Clock]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: Hello ladies!
You: I want to poop back and forth.
Stranger: oh?
Stranger: type faster little guy!!!
You: I'll poop into your butthole, then you'll poop into my butt, and we'll just keep doing it back and forth with the same poop. Forever.
Stranger: you must be so lonely
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: It is a pleasure to meet you. Are you by any chance a veterenarian, dentist, or pharmacist?
You: food
Stranger: Everything is food.
You: can you spare food
Stranger: I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburber today.
You: i don't have a hamburger
You: i need food
Stranger: Where do you live?
You: canada
Stranger: I'm sorry if you are hungry...either for food or attention.
Stranger: I'm too far away to help you.
You: send band-aids
You have disconnected.

[TabascoClock]

Yeah, this was Power Glove's idea. I'm sorry, anyway it ended up a bit differently than his convo.

You: hi, I work for omegle, and I've been getting complaints about you sexually harassing minors here.
Stranger: umm im a minor
You: well still, it's best you don't talk like that to people here
You: it offends some people
Stranger: are you actually from omegle?
You: yes
You: anyway, I'm going to have to ban you if you don't stop
You: I'm sorry, I don't make the rules
Stranger: umm ok
You: great
Stranger: yea well bye
You: wait
You: are you parents home?
You:
Stranger: huh?
You: are you alone?
Stranger: wow are you kidding me?
You: it's ok, they don't need to know
You:
Stranger: wow you creeper
You: you can call me whatever you want baby
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[GearBoxClock]

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: 卐
You: 卐
You: 卐
You: 卐
You: 卐
You: Are you a ¥¥¥¥¥¥ or a jew?
Stranger: i'm a cracker.
Stranger: married to a jew.
Stranger: kiss my fat ass.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 or save this log or send us feedback.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: hey
You: HEIL HITLER
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
 or save this log or send us feedback.

[Clocktopus]

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: wat up
Stranger: hi
Stranger: nothing much eatin ice cream
You: what kind
Stranger: Neapolitan
You: the fuck hell no this aint gonna work out buddy
You have disconnected.

[Clocktopus]

Stranger: AWESOME DESU
You: what
You have disconnected

[FishbagClock]

Stranger: u international?
You: how am I supposed to determine that?
Stranger: r u in the states or not?
You: no
Stranger: FUCK U!!! DEATH TO AMERICA!
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


You: If I draw a penis will you draw a vagina?
You: 8======D
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[Sinister Clock]

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: Oh my god
You: I am on fire
You: fuck
You: it burns
You: Aaah
You: help me
You: please help me
Stranger: shitttt
Stranger: let me get water
You: you are the internet
You: that will not help!!!
You: this is very serious!
Stranger: ahh fuck didnt pay the bill, no water
You: You should pay bills
You: they are important
You: more important than not being on fire
Stranger: hmm u are right
Stranger: never thought of that
You: I am still on fire while you talk non chalantly
You: I don't even know if I spelt that right
You: that's because I am on fire
You: I have other things on my mind besides spelling
You: mainly being on fire
Stranger: yea i would too, i mean u are on fire
You: I am on fire
Stranger: being on fire is serious business
You: very serious
You: it's so serious it hurts
You: it even burns
Stranger: like the internet
You: yes
You: that is also serious
You: one may say it could even be as serious or maybe more serious than being on fire
You: being on fire is pretty serious though
Stranger: hmm is that a haiku
Stranger: i like it
You: not really
You: it's really hard to do haikus while on fire
You: update: still on fire
Stranger: did you try rolling on the floor
You: no
You: I shall report back
Stranger: thats what they told me when i was on fire
You: ok
You: I did that
You: now my floor is on fire as well as me
You: I think my keyboard may be starting to mlellt
You: oh wait
You: no it's not
Stranger: ahh crap, its ok, ill get u new carpet from walmart
You: everything else is on fire still though
You: I am English
You: we only have ASDAs here
Stranger: oh im sorry
You: they don't sell carpets I don't think
Stranger: that explains the fire
You: so you're saying I should sue ASDA?
Stranger: only if i get a cut
You: I will only give you a cut if you happen to be the lawyer representing me
You: otherwise you deserve nothing
You: all you've done is suggest that I sue ASDA while I'm on fire
Stranger: ahh, i spoke to a lawyer once, does that qualify me as ur representative
You: I don't know if it's any different in wherever you live but here, fires come before suing
You: usually, no it doesn't
You: this time I'll make an exception
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

I didn't like that guy, tried too hard to be whacky and for some reason, refused to be trolled. Maybe I'm just terrible at trollin'.

[FishbagClock]

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: hello
Stranger: hihihi
You: Why did you greet me twice?
Stranger: ??
You: Did you think I was that fucking stupid that you would need to introduce yourself a second time?
Stranger: my mind
You: What?
You: You're really starting to piss me off, Amanda.
Stranger: you so stupid
You: why do you have to be so rude?
You: I just wanted to be friends...
Your conversational partner has disconnected.



You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: hey
You: FUCK
Your conversational partner has disconnected.



Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: You must be a cop because you look like this city's Finest
Your conversational partner has disconnected.


You: do u liek bleach?
Stranger: what?
You: naruto?
Stranger: r ucrazy?
You: suck a fucking cock you black ¥¥¥¥¥¥ jew piece of beaner shit.
Your conversational partner has disconnected.



Stranger: hey hey
Stranger: asl?
You: anal sex lube
Stranger: xd
Stranger: xD
Stranger: that made me laughh.
You: XD
You: XD
You: XD
X
You: Xd
You: X
You: d
You: xd
You: x
You: d
You: x
You: d
You: xxxx
You: d
You: x
You: x
You: d
You: d
You: d
You: xxx
You: xd
You: Xfd
You: d
You: X
d
Stranger: okayy.
You: X
You: d
You: D
You: X
D
You: X
X
D
You: X
DX
D
You: X
D
Your conversational partner has disconnected.



k im done

[Sinister Clock]

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: There's something you should know
You: before we begin
You: I have terminal cancer
You: also hello
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

Wow, what a fucking dick.

[Topcatyo]

Delicious.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: Hello there.
Stranger: heyy:)
You: I'm doing a poll for my blog.
You: I'm going to ask you a series of questions and I'd like for you to answer them truthfully.
Stranger: okay then.
You: Question 1 : Do you find the Internet to be a fun way to spend your free time?
Stranger: yes, at times.
You: Very good, very good.
You: Question 2 : Have you ever found the Internet to be useful in finding something?
Stranger: all the time
You: Fantastic, thank you.
You: Question 3 : Have you ever found the Internet to be useful in finding underage children?
Stranger: ew no.
Stranger: i dont do that
You: Okay, good, good.
You: Question 4 : How easy do you think it would be to find the NAMBLA website on search engines like Google, Yahoo, or MSN?
Stranger: whats nambla?
You: NAMBLA is a very supportive organization of children.
You: Very supportive.
Stranger: huh?
Stranger: byw
Stranger: bye*
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

[TabascoClock]

This one was waaaaaaay too long, I had to delete a lot of boring parts. I put the interesting stuff in bold.

Connecting to server...
Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
You: hi
Stranger: heyy
Stranger: whats up
You: not much
You: how's it going?
Stranger: bored as hell lol you
You: haha same
Stranger: where are you from?
You: florida
Stranger: nice im from ohio
Stranger: names eric
You: vanessa
Stranger: well hello vanessa
Stranger: what kind of music do you liek?
You: all types actually, rock, pop, hip hop, pretty much everything
Stranger: nice i like just about everything, but if i had to pick my fav it would be indie
You: oh I like indie too
You: what do you look like?
Stranger: dark hair
Stranger: blue eyess
You: cute
Stranger: haha thanks
You: brown long hair, green eyes, a bit skinny not too much
Stranger: ah i love green eyes :]
Stranger: my hair is longer
Stranger: not too long tho
You: do you have a girlfriend?
Stranger: nopee
You: broke up with my boyfriend two weeks ago
Stranger: awh im sorry whys that
You: it's fine, he said he wanted to see other people, that it just wasn't working
Stranger: that sucks
Stranger: i had a girlfriend of 6 months
Stranger: but she cheated on me
You: I'm sorry
Stranger: its cool im over it, that was about three months ago anyway
You: alright
Stranger: how old are you vanessa?
You: 18
Stranger: sweet, im 17
Stranger: 18 in october tho
Stranger: haha
You: 19 in october lol
Stranger: oh shoot, october when?
You: 30
Stranger: ah mines the 8th
You: hehe
Stranger: what brings you here on omegle?
You: I like talking to people
You: you?
Stranger: same really
Stranger: but its hard to find people to actully talk
Stranger: its mostly people being stupid lol
You: hey wanna have cyber sex?
You: lol just kidding
Stranger: lol woah
Stranger: haha nice
(I think he got an erection here)
You: yeah is that what you mean?
Stranger: lol what/
You: people being stupid, is that what you mean?
Stranger: ohhh
Stranger: lol
You: you are a really cool guy
Stranger: awh
Stranger: your really awsome!
You: I don't wanna sound weird, but I think you might be "mr.right for me"
Stranger: hah no its not weird, your getting more and more perfect its scary
You: thank you
You: but really I think I might like like you
Stranger: is that so?
Stranger: you haven't seen me i could be a two headed freakkk
Stranger: lol im kidding
Stranger: but im starting to like you too
You: well I try to ignore appearences, but from what you told me, you sound cute
Stranger: awwh thank you
Stranger: your really sweet
Stranger: you sound really pretty too
Stranger: like i looove green eyes
You: I'm falling for you
Stranger: :]
You: do you like me?
Stranger: of course i do
Stranger: your amazing
You: do you like like me? hehe
Stranger: yea :}
You: I'd like to talk dirty with you
You: if that's ok
Stranger: lol are you serious?
You: yes, I really am falling for you
Stranger: your not just messing with me right?
You: no I am dead serious
Stranger: okay just checking
Stranger: :]
You: hehe
You: do you wanna touch me?
Stranger: more than anything
You: I just wish you could come over and feel my breasts all day
Stranger: ah i would
You: and then you stick your large dick on my wet pussy
Stranger: i would rock your world
Stranger: it would get soo hot
You: cyber fuck me now
Stranger: all night?
You: oh yeah baby
Stranger: i mean can you handle me
You: I just wanna stick your cock on my warm tits, and you'll titty fuck me so hot
You: AAAAAAAAH
Stranger: oh baby, you have no idea
Stranger: ill have you screaming for moree
You: oh yeah, smack my ass
Stranger: oh, getting abit kinky
You: you made me like this you hot fucker
You: AAAAAAH, YES, SOOOO GOOOOOD
You: how do you feel baby?
Stranger: i guess youll just have to punish me
Stranger: amazing
Stranger: getting me all hot
You: oh shit
You: my dad is here
Stranger: oh shit
You: hey, who the fuck is this?
Stranger: who is this
You: I'm that girl's father that's who it goddamn is
You: are you one of those fucking pedos or something?
Stranger: no not at all.
You: talking to 14 year old girls like that
Stranger: 14?
You: I can't believe she did this, I don't know what to do anymore
You: and you are lucky I don't have your name!
Stranger: woah she told me she was 18
You: this isn't the first time
You: alright beat it
Stranger: wait a second tho
You: she's not using this damn computer for months
Stranger: is this really her father?
You: of course it is, at least I think because I know I'd never do shit like this
You: this is ridiculous
Stranger: you think?
Stranger: im confused
Stranger: whats going on lol
You: first off all, don't start "falling" for someone you meet online in a website that doesn't even show their damn name
You: this is so humiliating
Stranger: yes i can kinda see that
Stranger: but who am i talking to
You: you're talking to Vanessa's father
Stranger: okay,
Stranger: is she really 14?
You: yes, turns 15 in November
Stranger: ok, well she told me she was 18
You: I saw
Stranger: why did she do that
You: she's been really upset about not having boyfriends, so she's trying everything to get one
Stranger: oh, i guess that makes sense
You: anyway sir, I'm sorry about what my daughter did
Stranger: no no, im sorry i had no idea
Stranger: im sorry you had to read that
You: well it's done I guess
You: anyways something in that convo caught my attention
Stranger: whats that
You: dark hair and blue eyes, you sound kind of cute
Stranger: what about it
You: well I think you sound like a good looking guy
You: and you have very interesting tastes
You: I've been separated for years, and I'm confused about my sexuality
Stranger: okkkay
Stranger: whats going on here
Stranger: lol
You: I'm sorry I don't wanna be too foward, but you seem like the type of guy I'd hang out with
Stranger: thnak you?
You: I'm George, but I can be whatever you want
Your conversational partner has disconnected.