If you could have a completely impractical super power what would it be?

[Maltese]

Use it to get a job as an opera singer

Sorry, enough semantics.

The ability to turn any piece of paper into dot-matrix format.

that's incredibly useful; especially if you're out of dot-matrix formatted paper.

[Marlin Clock]

Who the hell uses dot-matrix paper anymore?
Besides out of date state emissions centers?

[PaperClipClock]

the power to feed fish from that area in between the balls and the asshole

[FluxCapacitorClock]

The power to make my shit any color I want it to be!

[RabidClock]

the power to feed fish from that area in between the balls and the asshole

that's called the 'taint' or 'gooch'.

[NewtonClock]

The ability to assume the shape of buttered toast. Sure, it can be used for some secret spy missions, because no one would ever suspect that their toast would harm them, but it is impractical because 9 times out of 10 I would be eaten.

[PaperClipClock]

that's called the 'taint' or 'gooch'.

ok I will be feeding fish from right there


also the ability to turn into a trans-am but my aunt will insist on driving.

[Steam]

Two words. Dancing teeth.

[SpinningCubeClock]

Be able to clap my ears together.

[Steam]

Super strength, but only when applied to throwing walruses.

[ToadClock]

The ability to blink three times and give everyone around me an irritating itch right next to their crotch.

While highly impractical, I would amuse myself by watching people desperately try to scratch themselves without appearing inappropriate in public. Most of them would probably end up excusing themselves to the bathroom.

It would be lousy if I got something in my eye though... for them anyway...

[Fireman]

Magic hair that grows back within 2 seconds of getting cut.
But always ends up in a hairstyle that just doesn't suit me.
Also the power to cause people to buy hats that just don't suit them.
But they'll extremely like their hats.

[Maltese]

I know the main flaw of this thread really, any superpower that you want is practical to you in some way.

so a better question would be, if you could have any super power, which one would you hate the most?

[Steam]

I know the main flaw of this thread really, any superpower that you want is practical to you in some way.

so a better question would be, if you could have any super power, which one would you hate the most?

Illiteracy.

[beebles]

the power to self combust at will.

"Arrrgh, why?"

[Slurpee]

Illiteracy.

hahahaha

[OcarinaClock]

The power to increase the quantity of any item except money.

[iPodClock]

Amazing intellect, but only when having sex.

[Topcatyo]

The power to stall my digestive system.

[BellClock]

The power to hear the bowel movement of everyone on the continent.